Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Meerkat]

Ban the use of “lived experience”. Its no different to ‘experience’ it’s just used to make it sound more meaningful when trying to using anecdote to outweigh data.
Ban strimmers, garden hoovers, leaf blowers and jet washes. especially silly when people use them for hours then go to the gym for exercise. (Or at least ban petrol ones and put really strict noise and time limits on them…).

 

[WelshBluebird]

Ban the use of the phrase "I trust my immune system" - something that has taken off a bit online amongst antivaxxers.

 

[Grumpus63]

A minor irritant that I see almost daily when reading posts on social media is the increasing replacement of the word "have" with "of".

e.g. "I should of caught the earlier train" is not correct and should read "I should have caught the earlier train". I always thought that certain types preferred using four-letter words when conveying their messages but clearly I was mistaken.

I should of known better (deliberate mistake - chuckle!).

 

[LSWR Cavalier]

I get a bit disgruntled when people do not know the difference between 'engine' and 'train', someone just wrote in the Guardian how sick he was of the trains/engines "Thomas and Friends".

Worst of all, he hates the Percy engine most of all.

 

[py_megapixel]

Worst of all, he hates the Percy engine most of all.

I have always found Percy quite charming; he understands that he is doing a good job for the railway and does it in a friendly and good-natured way, unlike James, Gordon or perhaps even Thomas, who have too much of an ego. Edward is similar, though definitely comes across as wiser, older, and perhaps more risk-averse.

 

[Cowley]

I have always found Percy quite charming; he understands that he is doing a good job for the railway and does it in a friendly and good-natured way, unlike James, Gordon or perhaps even Thomas, who have too much of an ego. Edward is similar, though definitely comes across as wiser, older, and perhaps more risk-averse.

Very good assessment there. I’d like to nominate Duck as another decent sort.
Daisy is irritating though and has ideas well above her status as a Bog Cart…

 

[Ianno87]

Those official "social distancing" photographs of politicians etc stood exactly 2 metres apart.

Because you know the very second the camera turns away, they're brushing shoulders and slapping each other on the back.

 

[Peter C]

I have always found Percy quite charming

I’d like to nominate Duck as another decent sort.

What's the link here? They're both* Great Western engines - the best of the Big Four

-Peter

*(apparently Percy is based on an Avonside Engine Company loco, but they were absorbed into the GWR so I'm claiming that one)

 

[Ianno87]

I have always found Percy quite charming; he understands that he is doing a good job for the railway and does it in a friendly and good-natured way, unlike James, Gordon or perhaps even Thomas, who have too much of an ego. Edward is similar, though definitely comes across as wiser, older, and perhaps more risk-averse.

Reminds me of a Twitter thread listing Thomas characters and how they would have voted in the Brexit referendum.

-Thomas an unquestioned remainer
-Duck you thought was nice until you realise he voted leave and now you're not so sure
-Cranky wants to be a leaver, but votes Remain because he knows what pays his bill

https://twitter.com/SoozUK/status/1196063125570805761?s=19

THREAD: How the Thomas the Tank Engine characters voted in the EU referendum. THOMAS: Remain. Really likes the BBC's Brexitcast podcast and recommends it to everybody. https://t.co/JCB8gRInZM

 

[Bevan Price]

Forum mods who don't uphold the rules

Forums that combine two (or more) unrelated replies into a single message.

 

[bspahh]

Ban the use of the phrase "I trust my immune system" - something that has taken off a bit online amongst antivaxxers.

I trust my immune system.

I trust it to keep a breeding population alive, to keep the species going. I'm not so confident of it keeping me alive.

 

[daveo]

People who mess with others' messages and then add "fixed that for you".

 

[py_megapixel]

People who mess with others' messages and then add "fixed that for you", as someone will predictably do to this message as an incredibly unfunny joke

Fixed that for you

 

[NoMorePacers]

Couple more things to add:

Subaru Imprezas: they have stupid gold wheel rims and stupid massive spoilers (that probably has bugger all effect at generating downforce) and massive exhausts that generate an absolute racket (it's not even nice; I can appreciate a nice car engine sound but those, just... no) and the driver is inevitably some moron in a tracksuit with fake gold jewellery (maybe some face tattoos to add) who thinks he's the latest big name rapper. Ugh.

People who walk slowly but don't recognise the fact and thus take up as much walking space as it seems possible for them to take.

Fanboys of anything. If I see someone fanboying over something (as in, constantly babbling on about how great it is and how it has zero faults and is so perfect it must be preserved in a museum as it is literally the most perfect thing to have ever been created) then I automatically take a dislike to it. It's just annoying.

Posts on social media asking people to like that person's most recent post. Thanks, I saw it before and didn't like it but now I've seen you telling me to like it I'm definitely going to do that now!

 

[py_megapixel]

I'd ban the phrase "reached out" in situations where the person in question didn't actually reach out of anything, they sat at their computer and wrote an email.

Some days I write quite a number of emails, and I don't get a fancy word for it!

 

[43021HST]

Grammar/Spelling/Phrasing pedants

cos me no speke wel 2 gud

 

[GusB]

Forum mods who don't uphold the rules

Forum members who take no notice of the rules

 

[Strat-tastic]

Ban the phrase 'social distancing'

Replace it with 'physical distancing'; it's more accurate and doesn't imply intentional rudeness/coldness.

 

[hst43102]

Couple more things to add:

Subaru Imprezas: they have stupid gold wheel rims and stupid massive spoilers (that probably has bugger all effect at generating downforce) and massive exhausts that generate an absolute racket (it's not even nice; I can appreciate a nice car engine sound but those, just... no) and the driver is inevitably some moron in a tracksuit with fake gold jewellery (maybe some face tattoos to add) who thinks he's the latest big name rapper. Ugh.

I assume you're from the Mitsubishi Evo camp?

 

[Ianno87]

On a flight, people who like to like to make a big show of the fact that they're not watching the safety demonstration (e.g. have their broadsheet newspaper out in front of them)

 

[pdeaves]

Fanboys of anything. If I see someone fanboying over something (as in, constantly babbling on about how great it is and how it has zero faults and is so perfect it must be preserved in a museum as it is literally the most perfect thing to have ever been created) then I automatically take a dislike to it. It's just annoying.

You've seen all the HST and 442 posts, I assume

 

[LSWR Cavalier]

Background music on "serious" talk programmes on radio 4, grrr.

 

[Ianno87]

Background music on "serious" talk programmes on radio 4, grrr.

Shop "radio stations" that play over the Tannoy.

"You're listening to Radio Dixons. Keep listening for some great offers"

 

[westv]

On the food front, all shops should be banned from stocking normal and gluten free sandwiches together. More than once I've grabbed some in a rush to eat and found I've ended up with gluten free. Yuck!

Background music on "serious" talk programmes on radio 4, grrr.

Sad music played to accompany a sad news story on the news.

 

[duncanp]

Ban the phrase 'social distancing'

Replace it with 'physical distancing'; it's more accurate and doesn't imply intentional rudeness/coldness.

Indeed.

The phrase in France is "distancation physique" which is a more accurate representation of what is being asked.

Can will make it illegal for any newspaper or media outlet to give airtime to the Duke and Duchess of Montecito, and their constant, self pitying, nauseating whining about how badly off they are and how everyone is against them.

 

[Kite159]

Couple more things to add:

Subaru Imprezas: they have stupid gold wheel rims and stupid massive spoilers (that probably has bugger all effect at generating downforce) and massive exhausts that generate an absolute racket (it's not even nice; I can appreciate a nice car engine sound but those, just... no) and the driver is inevitably some moron in a tracksuit with fake gold jewellery (maybe some face tattoos to add) who thinks he's the latest big name rapper. Ugh.

I would go further and ban the sort of modifications to cars which "slam" then to the ground (hardly any ground clearance or suspension). Or those who decide to replace the rear tyres with extra wide ones for no reason (especially on a front wheel drive 'warm' hatchback).

 

[43021HST]

Forum members who take no notice of the rules

The greater good

 

[Falcon1200]

Time-related tautology, eg the BBC Olympic presenter who said '4 am in the morning'; 4 am can only be in the morning !

 

[NoMorePacers]

I assume you're from the Mitsubishi Evo camp?

Eh, I have nothing for or against the Evo, Imprezas just annoy me.

You've seen all the HST and 442 posts, I assume

Enough HST pictures (and related comments) on the internet, yes.

 

[75A]

I found the EVO10 to be a very enjoyable car to drive.
You could trundle round at 40mph or flap the paddles and drive like a complete lunatic. Before anyone comments, this was at Silverstone under controlled conditions.