Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[birchesgreen]

At staffed tills, when you carefully arrange your items on the belt to aid efficient packing and the assistant scans them out of order.

 

[duncanp]

At staffed tills, when you carefully arrange your items on the belt to aid efficient packing and the assistant scans them out of order.

...where the assistant always waits right until the end to scan that bulky packet of cereals or box of washing powder that you want to put in your bag first...

...or where the assistant starts to scan the next person's shopping before you have finished putting away your change/payment card and packing away your shopping...

 

[nlogax]

Supermarkets? Ok..

PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO SPATIAL AWARENESS AND JUST STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE WITH THEIR TROLLEY.

No, that's perfectly fine. You just bloody stand there ignoring my plaintive 'excuse me'. I'll extend my Inspector Gadget arms to reach behind you to get what I need from the shelf. IT'S FINE.

 

[westv]

Trainspotters!





Only joking!

 

[LSWR Cavalier]

Large food shops are NOT "super", could they be renamed 'large food shops'?

 

[Ianno87]

Large food shops are NOT "super", could they be renamed 'large food shops'?

Can I buy large food there then?

 

[gg1]

English language dubbing, instead of subtitles for foreign films and TV series.

A case in point; I watched Wallander when it was first on the TV with subtitles and fully enjoyed it, revisited the Netflix English dubbed version and it was unwatchable, the dialogue just felt stilted. Ruining a perfectly good series for the benefit of dumb dumbs who don't want to read.

Or even more annoying, the original Aussie dialogue in the first Mad Max film was (badly) dubbed with American accents, this was the version you got if you bought it on VHS in Britain. Thankfully the DVD release had the original version.

 

[yorksrob]

Families dawdling through major railway stations so no one else can get past !

 

[gg1]

More supermarket annoyances:

If you go there quite late and find ALL the staffed tills are closed, it's self service or nothing.
Periodically rearranging aisles, moving items from one part of the store to another.
Only selling certain vegetables pre-packed, invariably in far bigger quantities than you actually need - this has become common in smaller branches in recent years.

 

[duncanp]

Families dawdling through major railway stations so no one else can get past !

....not just main railway stations, but pavements, shopping centres, public footpaths.... etc etc. etc.

 

[Cowley]

Supermarkets? Ok..

PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO SPATIAL AWARENESS AND JUST STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE WITH THEIR TROLLEY.

No, that's perfectly fine. You just bloody stand there ignoring my plaintive 'excuse me'. I'll extend my Inspector Gadget arms to reach behind you to get what I need from the shelf. IT'S FINE.

Yes! It’s not just me that gets irritated by this!
People that do that should be forced to wear a helmet with wing mirrors attached for the rest of the time they’re shopping.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Halloumi. The most boring cheese I’ve ever sampled. It’s like eating a salty pencil rubber.

You are supposed to cook it first!

 

[py_megapixel]

Aldi in particular seem to train their assistants to scan all the shopping through the till in about two seconds, and then say "..that will be £xx.xx please..." and sit there harrumphing whilst you are trying to pack your shopping away and pay for it at the same time

The reason for this is that it's cheaper for them (and for you - Aldi seem to be quite good about passing this kind of saving on) for the checkout queues to move faster; it means they need less of them which means less labour costs and less floorspace taken up by tills.

It's not only staff training; look at some Aldi products and you'll see that the packaging has barcodes printed on several sides meaning it's possible for them to be scanned without having to orient them with the barcode towards the scanner.

The idea is that you're supposed to just dump the items back into your trolley or basket after scanning, then if you want to bag them or pack them properly you use the long shelf just the other side. In fact, many Aldi branches have signage to that effect: "Please pack your purchases on the packing shelf - it helps to keep our prices low"

 

[duncanp]

Supermarkets? Ok..

PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO SPATIAL AWARENESS AND JUST STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE WITH THEIR TROLLEY.

....whilst they have a conversation on their phone about something unconnected to their shopping, or have a conversation with their partner about which brand of toilet paper/baked beans/washing powder... etc etc they should get....

FFS, just make a decision for once in your life.

I once heard the "trolley ditherers" described as the "..supermarket equivalent of Sunday drivers or middle lane hoggers on the motorway"

 

[nlogax]

Yes! It’s not just me that gets irritated by this!

....whilst they have a conversation on their phone about something unconnected to their shopping, or have a conversation with their partner about which brand of toilet paper/baked beans/washing powder... etc etc they should get....

You have validated my thoughts on this blood-boiling topic. Thank you, like-minded individuals

 

[BanburyBlue]

Supermarket staff who virtually drag you to the self-service tills when they see you waiting for a staffed till to become available. If I had wanted to use one of those fangled things I would have gone to one in the first place. However, I remain polite when I decline...the staff are merely doing what they are encouraged to do.

I find the same in banks. A person walking up the queue trying to get people to use the ATMs and automated pay-in tills. I always want to say that if they are so concerned about the queue, why do they back in an open a window and actually start to serve people.

 

[Meerkat]

I find the same in banks. A person walking up the queue trying to get people to use the ATMs and automated pay-in tills. I always want to say that if they are so concerned about the queue, why do they back in an open a window and actually start to serve people.

Because it’s quicker to use the machines and they can help if you didn’t because you are unfamiliar with them. They also get people out the queue who can be helped by a non-cashier.

 

[Gloster]

Periodically rearranging aisles, moving items from one part of the store to another.

They are hoping that when you go to where something used to be, you will see something else and make an impulse buy (as well). Unfortunately (unless you are a shareholder in a supermarket) a lot of people fall for it.

 

[yorksrob]

Everything from the invention of the MP3 player onwards.

Lets face it, the Amish had the right idea. They were just a few hundred years too early.

 

[duncanp]

Greta Thunberg.

If there is one benefit of the COVID-19 pandemic, it is that we have heard significantly less of her.

 

[Bald Rick]

Also, people queuing for self-service tills who stand waiting at the front of the line when there are 5 machine being unused, because they think you have to be invited forward by a staff member.

Also, people at the front of any queue anywhere who are not paying attention as to when it is their turn to step forward to be ‘served’. In my opinion, if you have not moved within 1 second of a till / machine / etc becoming free, then the second in line has an automatic right to overtake.

 

[pdeaves]

People who wait until being told the final price before even looking for their purse/wallet/etc. (and of course, it's now underneath all the purchases). It's like it's a surprise that the shop wants payment.

 

[NoMorePacers]

Cyclists that go onto the pavement then start ripping down it as if they've entered the Tour de Yorkshire.

Small talk conversations.

 

[43096]

PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO SPATIAL AWARENESS AND JUST STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE WITH THEIR TROLLEY.

No, that's perfectly fine. You just bloody stand there ignoring my plaintive 'excuse me'. I'll extend my Inspector Gadget arms to reach behind you to get what I need from the shelf. IT'S FINE.

It's not just supermarkets for that one; top of the escalators coming into Waterloo is a favourite for people to stop and aimlessly look around despite various attempts at warning signs on the floor. That escalator is coming up regardless of said people and I am coming through regardless. I have been known to just barge past/through them, with a pointed "F***ing great place to stand" as I do so.

 

[xotGD]

Trick or treat.

Yet another bit of American nonsense that we are now stuck with.



The First Past the Post voting system. It allows a party with well under half the votes to claim that they have a mandate.

 

[Spamcan81]

You are supposed to cook it first!

I know. I sell halloumi fritters in my chippy and they still taste like salty pencil rubbers.

I find the same in banks. A person walking up the queue trying to get people to use the ATMs and automated pay-in tills. I always want to say that if they are so concerned about the queue, why do they back in an open a window and actually start to serve people.

+1
Only today there was a queue in my local Barclays waiting to use the only counter open and nobody wanting to use the machines. Did the greeter or either of the other two assistants wandering around aimlessly go and open another window? Did they heck!

Because it’s quicker to use the machines and they can help if you didn’t because you are unfamiliar with them. They also get people out the queue who can be helped by a non-cashier.

Really? Often it is not.

 

[Strat-tastic]

TV chefs talking with their mouths full. It's disgusting; weren't they ever taught as children not to do it? Yuck!

 

[DelW]

People who wait until being told the final price before even looking for their purse/wallet/etc. (and of course, it's now underneath all the purchases). It's like it's a surprise that the shop wants payment.

Or even worse - who won't get out their wallet / handbag until they've packed every last item, then extract from it a wodge of vouchers that have to be individually flattened out and scanned by the cashier to see if any of them are still valid. Especially annoying if none of them are!

 

[johnnychips]

Animals in zoos who prefer to stay in their inside den.

 

[GusB]

I find it rather amusing that the "in-a-lighthearted-way" part of the thread title goes completely out of the window once the topic of conversation turns to cyclists and supermarkets