Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Cowley]

I find it rather amusing that the "in-a-lighthearted-way" part of the thread title goes completely out of the window once the topic of conversation turns to cyclists and supermarkets

I know. I’m still absolutely raging about the trolley thing…

 

[GusB]

I know. I’m still absolutely raging about the trolley thing…

Speaking of which, in these contactless times I've found myself arriving at Aldi without the usual pound coin, or similarly-sized token, in my pocket and have been unable to use a proper trolley (which they've conveniently forgotten to un-chain). Instead I've had to use one of those silly wheeled baskets with the long handle. They're too big for a £10 top-up shop and not bloody big enough for a full weekly haul.

 

[birchesgreen]

I hate Lidl's new wheeled baskets, i wished they'd bring back the smaller baskets for people who only want a few items.

 

[LSWR Cavalier]

Some food shops have large carts and small carts. Too few of the latter of course.

Apparently some carts are made to run better when they are loaded, so one unconsciously buys more than intended

 

[SteveM70]

What we used to call “twirlies” when I was younger - people like OAPs using concessionary passes with that aren’t valid till 930, who them get on a bus at about 920, show their pass and ask “am I too early?” whilst simultaneously starting to walk towards the seats in the hope that the driver will let them stay on. One warning, second offence means they forfeit the pass

People who take up a hobby and immediately buy high-end gear for it. Woman I used to work with took up cycling and within a fortnight had two grand’s worth of bike. Doubt it got used more than ten times before she got a new fad. Did the same with clay pigeon shooting. “All the gear and no idea” as we used to say, or as my kids put it “all the kit, plays like s***”

 

[BanburyBlue]

I know. I sell halloumi fritters in my chippy and they still taste like salty pencil rubbers.



+1
Only today there was a queue in my local Barclays waiting to use the only counter open and nobody wanting to use the machines. Did the greeter or either of the other two assistants wandering around aimlessly go and open another window? Did they heck!


Really? Often it is not.

Some people actually want to talk to a real person.

Trick or treat.

Yet another bit of American nonsense that we are now stuck with.



The First Past the Post voting system. It allows a party with well under half the votes to claim that they have a mandate.

my 4 yr old granddaughter had a graduation ceremony at her pre-school!. Gown, fake scroll, the works. Where will it end

 

[75A]

What we used to call “twirlies” when I was younger - people like OAPs using concessionary passes with that aren’t valid till 930, who them get on a bus at about 920, show their pass and ask “am I too early?” whilst simultaneously starting to walk towards the seats in the hope that the driver will let them stay on. One warning, second offence means they forfeit the pass

People who take up a hobby and immediately buy high-end gear for it. Woman I used to work with took up cycling and within a fortnight had two grand’s worth of bike. Doubt it got used more than ten times before she got a new fad. Did the same with clay pigeon shooting. “All the gear and no idea” as we used to say, or as my kids put it “all the kit, plays like s***”

Reminds me of my Wife who bought a Telescope, used it a couple of times and consigned it to a spare room along with all the other ornaments.

Speaking of which, in these contactless times I've found myself arriving at Aldi without the usual pound coin, or similarly-sized token, in my pocket and have been unable to use a proper trolley (which they've conveniently forgotten to un-chain). Instead I've had to use one of those silly wheeled baskets with the long handle. They're too big for a £10 top-up shop and not bloody big enough for a full weekly haul.

I always have a couple of pound coins in my cars otherwise unused ashtray for this very purpose.

 

[Bald Rick]

Speaking of which, in these contactless times I've found myself arriving at Aldi without the usual pound coin, or similarly-sized token, in my pocket and have been unable to use a proper trolley (which they've conveniently forgotten to un-chain). Instead I've had to use one of those silly wheeled baskets with the long handle. They're too big for a £10 top-up shop and not bloody big enough for a full weekly haul.

I genuinely didn’t know supermarkets still had trolleys that need a deposit. Haven’t seen one of those in about a decade!

 

[75A]

I genuinely didn’t know supermarkets still had trolleys that need a deposit. Haven’t seen one of those in about a decade!

our Village CO-Op does.

 

[gg1]

I genuinely didn’t know supermarkets still had trolleys that need a deposit. Haven’t seen one of those in about a decade!

Really? My local Sainsburys and Morrisons both need them, Asda and Tesco don't but in both cases it wasn't that long ago they stopped, definitely less than 5 years.

 

[Gloster]

Shop staff who ask you if you need help or ‘assistance’ when, to anyone with more than three brain cells, it is quite obvious that you know where you are going, what you are doing, etc. This seems to be particularly common in charity shops.

Also common in charity shops is commenting on books that you have bought. I can just about stand it when they comment that they have enjoyed other books by the author, but saying,”That looks a nice book,” or similar does not add to the sum of human knowledge. But as it is a charity shop you just have to bear it, although I am not going to grin.

 

[Ianno87]

Shop staff who ask you if you need help or ‘assistance’ when, to anyone with more than three brain cells, it is quite obvious that you know where you are going, what you are doing, etc. This seems to be particularly common in charity shops.

I especially hate it in clothes shops, where items I see as my personal choice. Being approached usually drives me to leave pretty sharpish.

 

[jfollows]

Shop staff who ask you if you need help or ‘assistance’ when, to anyone with more than three brain cells, it is quite obvious that you know where you are going, what you are doing, etc. This seems to be particularly common in charity shops.

I remember from when I lived in Raleigh, NC, USA, from 1998 to 2000, that I went to a local "Circuit City" (I think it was) and was politely asked "can I help you?" by someone working there. I said something like "I very much doubt it" or perhaps I was even more polite than that, and my accent just made them think I was being polite, but actually I was being quite rude. Albeit accurate. I think I managed to find what i wanted by myself without their assistance at the time.

 

[Bald Rick]

Shop staff who ask you if you need help or ‘assistance’ when, to anyone with more than three brain cells, it is quite obvious that you know where you are going, what you are doing, etc.

Conversely, there not being an assistant anywhere when you need one. Shoe shops, I’m looking at you.

 

[Cowley]

Conversely, there not being an assistant anywhere when you need one. Shoe shops, I’m looking at you.

Or, there being assistants around but they haven’t got a clue what anything does or where anything is. B&Q I’m looking at you…

 

[yorksrob]

Wobbly toilet seats.

 

[Techniquest]

I know. I’m still absolutely raging about the trolley thing…

Ah yes, retail and supermarkets in general. I won't go on with my own views, so much I'd ban if I had the power! Just wanted to add though that I've enjoyed all the rage related to silly customers, self-scan checkouts etc. As for the slow walkers, oh my days don't get me started! Even my slow walk speed is faster than the average speed of a reasonably fit person, but I tend to walk much quicker than that and I get frustrated so often...

 

[BanburyBlue]

Shop staff who ask you if you need help or ‘assistance’ when, to anyone with more than three brain cells, it is quite obvious that you know where you are going, what you are doing, etc. This seems to be particularly common in charity shops.

Also common in charity shops is commenting on books that you have bought. I can just about stand it when they comment that they have enjoyed other books by the author, but saying,”That looks a nice book,” or similar does not add to the sum of human knowledge. But as it is a charity shop you just have to bear it, although I am not going to grin.

Or conversely, when it’s obvious you do need help & assistance, you seemingly become invisible to every member of staff within a 20 mile radius.

Or, there being assistants around but they haven’t got a clue what anything does or where anything is. B&Q I’m looking at you…

I remember once our local Tesco employed some floor staff to act as shop floor helpers for when customers couldn’t find something. They gave them t-shirts with a massive ‘I’m here to help’ logo (or some similar slogan). Anyway, as it happens, I was in Tesco a few days later and I couldn’t find what I wanted. I located one of these aforementioned shop staff, only to be told “I don’t know dear, it’s my first day, shall we go and find it together?”. Priceless!,

 

[pdeaves]

Or conversely, when it’s obvious you do need help & assistance, you seemingly become invisible to every member of staff within a 20 mile radius.

It's probably to do with what looks 'easy'. If you look like you need help, it's effort and not worth (from the staff point of view) asking you. If you look like you know what you're doing, they can look eager without committing to any actual help.

 

[alex397]

The fakeness of our culture needs to be wiped out.

There’s great customer service, but then you get the fake American-style shop staff asking me ‘how are you today’ and similar stuff which gets on my nerves a bit. It feels really fake if you’re in mourning, or in deep depression. Sure, be really friendly to customers, but don’t act like they are a friend.

Another thing I’ve noticed - some of my friends gossip about other people, then send them really lovely friendly public messages on Facebook. Either you like someone or not, what is it? I dont understand such people who are really friendly to people they don’t actually like.
I’m pleasant to people I don’t like, but I don’t brown-nose them or pretend I’m their close friend.

 

[SteveM70]

There’s great customer service, but then you get the fake American-style shop staff asking me ‘how are you today’ and similar stuff which gets on my nerves a bit. It feels really fake if you’re in mourning, or in deep depression. Sure, be really friendly to customers, but don’t act like they are a friend

Asda when you were owned by Walmart, I’m looking at you. Massive yellow smiley face badges with “how can I help” on them and OTT trying to be your friend conversations

 

[Bevan Price]

Supermarkets? Ok..

PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO SPATIAL AWARENESS AND JUST STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE WITH THEIR TROLLEY.

No, that's perfectly fine. You just bloody stand there ignoring my plaintive 'excuse me'. I'll extend my Inspector Gadget arms to reach behind you to get what I need from the shelf. IT'S FINE.

People, especially those with prams, who stand about gossiping for ages in the narrowest part of the pavement / path / gangway.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

The word "bogs". It's just so common sounding. I hate it.

Oh and words like "brekkie", "sarnie", "prezzie", yuck.

 

[ABB125]

Oh and words like "brekkie", "sarnie", "prezzie", yuck

Doggy, horsey?

 

[XAM2175]

Oh and words like "brekkie", "sarnie", "prezzie", yuck.

"Wokie"?

 

[GusB]

The word "bogs". It's just so common sounding. I hate it.

Oh and words like "brekkie", "sarnie", "prezzie", yuck.

Oh my! Bogs! How common and utterly working class.

If that results you clutching at your pearls in horror, I'd imagine that hearing the word "cludgie" might be a 999 job...

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

"Wokie"?

Three times in a week, it’s getting painful brother

 

[krus_aragon]

I genuinely didn’t know supermarkets still had trolleys that need a deposit. Haven’t seen one of those in about a decade!

It varies by chain and location.

Tesco's extra large store on the outskirts of Bangor requires coins, because of the students who push the the trolleys all the way back to town with their shopping. The Llandudno Jn branch doesn't, because of the different customer base.

Discounters such as Lidl and Aldi always have coin trolleys, because they want customers to return the trolleys to the entrance (and not pay staff to go out and tidy trolleys).

 

[nlogax]

'Holibobs'. Grrrrrh.

 

[XAM2175]

Three times in a week, it’s getting painful brother

No less painful than seeing it attached it to the end of every post you've ever made. If you're not prepared to defend your opinion, maybe try keeping it to yourself.