Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Busaholic]

On a discussion board, people who write "this is my last post on this subject" and then fail to flounce

Where's the emoji for flounce?

 

[HST274]

On a discussion board, people who write "this is my last post on this subject" and then fail to flounce

Socks in Sandals are fine.

this is my last post on this subject

 

[MattRat]

Socks in Sandals are fine.

this is my last post on this subject

You call that baiting people? Amateur. Everyone knows you should have said it's OK to put pineapple on pizza (which it is btw).

 

[D821]

You call that baiting people? Amateur. Everyone knows you should have said it's OK to put pineapple on pizza (which it is btw).

I work with two Italians who would take great umbrage at that!
Strangely enough, using or not using cream in Carbonara sauce is quite a divisive issue, apparently.

 

[birchesgreen]

People who have an irrational hatred of socks and sandals. I wear such every day, in fact i am doing so right now.

 

[Busaholic]

I work with two Italians who would take great umbrage at that!

I was berated by an Italian waitress in London for opting for brown sugar with my cappuccino - she told me no Italian would do so.

 

[52290]

I was berated by an Italian waitress in London for opting for brown sugar with my cappuccino - she told me no Italian would do so.

I've yet to find anywhere in Italy that has any brown sugar at all.

 

[MattRat]

I've yet to find anywhere in Italy that has any brown sugar at all.

Just gave me another thing to ban: The offensive joke in my head about why you can't find brown sugar in Italy

 

[Busaholic]

I've yet to find anywhere in Italy that has any brown sugar at all.

Only in a kitchen for cookery purposes, I guess, but maybe not even there? It's a British Empire thing, certainly.

 

[Gloster]

People who say, “I’m speechless,” about something and then go on and on about it. If only they were!

 

[MattRat]

People who say, “I’m speechless,” about something and then go on and on about it. If only they were!

Also people who say something is "stunning and brave" when clearly it isn't.

 

[Busaholic]

''You guys''. Why does this Americanism really get under my skin? The first time I ever heard it used in a unisex way was actually by a Canadian colleague of whom I was very fond, so it took some time and many other users before it really grated. I'm not proposing 'guys and gals' be used instead, especially in the light of Jimmy Savile's use of that expression, but pleeeease restrict it.

 

[MattRat]

''You guys''. Why does this Americanism really get under my skin? The first time I ever heard it used in a unisex way was actually by a Canadian colleague of whom I was very fond, so it took some time and many other users before it really grated. I'm not proposing 'guys and gals' be used instead, especially in the light of Jimmy Savile's use of that expression, but pleeeease restrict it.

Any different saying would require more syllables than most people can handle (yes really). Feel free to prove me wrong on both fronts though.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Also people who say something is "stunning and brave" when clearly it isn't.

I don't think I can recall that particular phrase being used unironically.

 

[MattRat]

I don't think I can recall that particular phrase being used unironically.

I think it's mainly used unironically in the USA. I probably shouldn't care that much given I live in the UK far away for those people, but that's how much it bugs me.

 

[Cdd89]

Television ads featuring commercial music where six cuts have been made to rush through fragments of the entire song in a 15 second spot, leaving the thing dead in the process.

And since it’s nearly December, a festive edition of the above for companies slashing down their Christmas jingles in the same way.

I’d like to think they’re ashamed of their work, but I suspect editing fatigue where they don’t consider how it sounds to a fresh ear…

 

[MattRat]

Television ads featuring commercial music where six cuts have been made to rush through fragments of the entire song in a 15 second spot, leaving the thing dead in the process.

And since it’s nearly December, a festive edition of the above for companies slashing down their Christmas jingles in the same way.

I’d like to think they’re ashamed of their work, but I suspect editing fatigue where they don’t consider how it sounds to a fresh ear…

It's still November. Christmas hype before December should be banned in general.

 

[Techniquest]

''You guys''. Why does this Americanism really get under my skin? The first time I ever heard it used in a unisex way was actually by a Canadian colleague of whom I was very fond, so it took some time and many other users before it really grated. I'm not proposing 'guys and gals' be used instead, especially in the light of Jimmy Savile's use of that expression, but pleeeease restrict it.

It annoys me too, and when I unintentionally use it in conversation myself it annoys me even more.

It's still November. Christmas hype before December should be banned in general.

Tell me about it, I've been surrounded by Christmas stuff for weeks already. I will confess to having taken advantage, with some stollen and mince pies, but that's different, I ate them to enjoy the food not to celebrate Christmas! So many people in my workplace have been wearing Christmas jumpers, t-shirts and whatever since 8th November. I appreciate a lot of people like Christmas, but seriously? It's way too soon for all the Christmas clothing, and all the Christmas music will soon be here too...

I just hope it isn't like this year when apparently the Christmas music broadcast from whoever supplies music to my workplace couldn't be turned off because of lockdowns. Somehow they found a way in the middle of January to do it, probably after many complaints!

 

[birchesgreen]

''You guys''. Why does this Americanism really get under my skin? The first time I ever heard it used in a unisex way was actually by a Canadian colleague of whom I was very fond, so it took some time and many other users before it really grated. I'm not proposing 'guys and gals' be used instead, especially in the light of Jimmy Savile's use of that expression, but pleeeease restrict it.

How about "youze guys" in a Brummie accent?

 

[Strat-tastic]

People should be banned from changing the meaning of the word 'literally'.

And also from the annual complaining about Christmas starting too early

 

[duncanp]

Can we ban the Aldi Christmas advert, titled "A Christmas Carrot", featuring "Kevin the Carrot" as Scrooge in a spoof of "A Christmas Carol"

I find "Kevin the Carrot" irritating all year round, but this advert is utterly vomit inducing.

 

[43096]

It's still November. Christmas hype before December should be banned in general.

 

[xotGD]

''You guys''. Why does this Americanism really get under my skin? The first time I ever heard it used in a unisex way was actually by a Canadian colleague of whom I was very fond, so it took some time and many other users before it really grated. I'm not proposing 'guys and gals' be used instead, especially in the light of Jimmy Savile's use of that expression, but pleeeease restrict it.

How about:

"You folk"

"You lot"

"You people"

"You all"

However, in the north east we have it sussed with "Yous" as the plural of you.

 

[MattRat]

However, in the north east we have it sussed with "Yous" as the plural of you.

Are you sure it isn't Wales? They have a lot of Yews in Wales

 

[Calthrop]

Are you sure it isn't Wales? They have a lot of Yews in Wales

Especially at Overton-on-Dee -- there's a rhyme which includes a mention of that ...

 

[nlogax]

On websites, tech products or software screens the phrase 'Powered by..' followed by (insert either defunct or since-rebranded tech company here). 'Powered by electricity' is the only true statement in all cases, and is obviously superfluous.

 

[Dr Day]

Secret Santas

 

[Paul Jones 88]

Secret Santa was executed at my work a few years ago..

 

[birchesgreen]

Secret Santas

I stopped doing it, i always made an effort with my gift but every year the person who got me just gave me any old rubbish they had spare.

 

[PeterY]

I stopped doing it, i always made an effort with my gift but every year the person who got me just gave me any old rubbish they had spare.

That's happened to me. I try to avoid secret Santa. I usually end up with after shave and I can't stand the stuff. It makes me itch.