Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[PeterY]

The label on this bathroom rug that I keep forgetting to cut off.

View attachment 106649

Jobs that take 30 seconds but I keep putting them off

 

[Gloster]

Jobs that take 30 seconds but I keep putting them off

I have just got round to sewing up the turn-ups of a pair of jeans; I have only had them around a year. At least this time I got it right: on one occasion I sewed one turn-up inside the leg, the other outside.

 

[PeterY]

I have just got round to sewing up the turn-ups of a pair of jeans; I have only had them around a year. At least this time I got it right: on one occasion I sewed one turn-up inside the leg, the other outside.

Sounds like my sowing. I once, many many years ago sowed a pillow case to the pillow

 

[D821]

Smart meters.

They bill them as being good for the environment and able to save you money.
The reality is, a 5p photocopied leaflet listing which are the most expensive appliances to run in a house would tell you the same thing. Plus the 5p photocopied leaflet wouldn't stop working when you changed energy supplier....

 

[61653 HTAFC]

People in the supermarket, who block the "reduced to clear" area with their trolley while they meticulously inspect every single item in said area.

Shelf-fillers who park a big cage of stock right in front of the section I need, rather than leaving the cage in the centre of the aisle as they teach you to do on day one.

Parents who let their little angels run around like knee-high drunks, anywhere that isn't a playground. No doubt if one of them did collide with my knee, it would be my fault.

 

[Gloster]

People in supermarkets at this time of year who wear Christmas jumpers but turn out not to be staff. And staff who wear their Christmas ‘uniform’ so casually you think that they must be shoppers, so you go half-way across the shop looking for someone, who turns out to be have been there all the time.

 

[Bald Rick]

People in supermarkets at this time of year who wear Christmas jumpers but turn out not to be staff. And staff who wear their Christmas ‘uniform’ so casually you think that they must be shoppers, so you go half-way across the shop looking for someone, who turns out to be have been there all the time.

On that subject....

Christmas Jumpers.

 

[Meerkat]

Smart meters.

They bill them as being good for the environment and able to save you money.
The reality is, a 5p photocopied leaflet listing which are the most expensive appliances to run in a house would tell you the same thing. Plus the 5p photocopied leaflet wouldn't stop working when you changed energy supplier....

And after the first week no one looks at them so they in fact use more energy

 

[S&CLER]

My smart meter's only advantage is that I no longer need to get down on my hands and knees with a torch to read my gas meter, which is in a dark corner of the pantry. For that I'm duly grateful.

 

[duncanp]

Smart meters.

Plus the 5p photocopied leaflet wouldn't stop working when you changed energy supplier....

Or when the government turn off the 2G and 3G mobile phone networks that the "smart" meters use to communicate.

If this goes ahead, all the existing smart meters will need to be "upgraded" to use the 4G signal.

So let me get this right, all the millions of newly installed smart meters will need to be replaced, to use 4G. How are all the old meters going to be disposed of? And we are doing this to transition to a "greener" energy network?

Honestly, you couldn't make it up.

Smart meters and GPS under threat as old mobile networks get switched off

The energy industry will have to upgrade from older 2G and 3G

www.telegraph.co.uk

Smart meters and GPS under threat as old mobile networks get switched off​

The energy industry will have to upgrade from older 2G and 3G

Millions of energy bill payers face the threat of disruption after the Government announced it will phase out the mobile signal used by smart meters.

The 2G and 3G networks which the meters use to communicate are to be turned off in 2033 to free up space for more advanced 5G signals that will underpin driverless cars and smart cities.

It means the industry will now need to carry out sweeping changes to smart meters relying on these older mobile networks by upgrading them to 4G.

The Telegraph understands work is underway between government and industry to ensure there is a smooth transition to the new generation of smart meter technology.

In an announcement, the Government said that it will work with operators to make certain they meet the needs of users, consumers and vulnerable groups.

Energy suppliers have been urged by ministers to speed up roll-out of smart meters to ensure all consumers are offered one by 2025 to help cut carbon emissions and provide more accurate bills.

The devices allow customers to monitor power use in real time and send automatic readings to their supplier, meaning bills no longer have to be estimated. However, opponents have criticised them as an invasion of privacy.
Around 24m smart meters have already been installed with a life cycle of 15 years.

The switch-off also threatens to create disruption for vehicles with in-built satellite navigation and safety systems, as many need 3G signals to operate.

It came as the Digital Secretary Nadine Dorries unveiled £50m of new investment to speed up innovation in mobile technology.

Among the measures were plans to ensure 35pc of Britain's mobile traffic is carried over equipment made by smaller suppliers once Huawei technology is removed from the country's communications network.

To hit the target, mobile operators will be encouraged to move away from using a single network equipment supplier in favour of OpenRan, a technology standard that allows more companies to supply equipment to mobile networks.

The government is attempting to speed up the adoption of OpenRan by investing £36m in 15 projects trialling the technology across England, Wales and Scotland.

A further £15m will also be invested into a prototype testing facility for telecoms technology, called Sonic.

Ms Dorries announced the measures ahead of a meeting in Washington DC with Gina Raimondo, the US secretary for commerce, to renew their commitment to diversifying the global telecoms supply chain.

Ms Dorries said: "We are announcing a further £50m to put the UK at the forefront of mobile connectivity and to make sure our telecoms networks are safe and secure now and in the future.

“We can only do this through stronger international collaboration and I will be meeting with our US allies as we strengthen our ties on technology.”

A task force headed by Lord Livingston, the former BT boss, had recommended that smaller equipment manufacturers should make a quarter of the equipment used in 5G networks.

UK mobile networks are poised to spend up to £2bn ripping out Huawei kit after Boris Johnson followed America’s lead and blacklisted the company over spying fears.

 

[birchesgreen]

In 12 years time.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

On the smart meters thing, I'd like to ban the false "market" for utilities full-stop.

Going back to the supermarket, the big bags of "Turkey & Stuffing flavour bites" in Tesco's Festive range need to be banned, because they're quite unhealthy but very moreish!

 

[Ediswan]

Or when the government turn off the 2G and 3G mobile phone networks that the "smart" meters use to communicate.

Smart meters and GPS under threat as old mobile networks get switched off

The energy industry will have to upgrade from older 2G and 3G

www.telegraph.co.uk

The mention of GPS in headline seems spurious. GPS is self-contained, no reliance on 2G or 3G.

 

[ABB125]

The mention of GPS in headline seems spurious. GPS is self-contained, no reliance on 2G or 3G.

Yes, but how will the microtransmitters in the coronavirus vaccine be able to transmit our location constantly to the government if the 2G/3G networks are turned off?

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Yes, but how will the microtransmitters in the coronavirus vaccine be able to transmit our location constantly to the government if the 2G/3G networks are turned off?

Thought that they needed a 5G network!

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Thought that they needed a 5G network!

2G + 3G = 5G

Do the math(s), Sheeple!

(For avoidance of doubt, this post is sarcastic)

 

[birchesgreen]

The sarcasm tag is needed judging by some of the mad conspiracy theory stuff posted in the C19 forum.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

The sarcasm tag is needed judging by some of the mad conspiracy theory stuff posted in the C19 forum.

The worrying thing is, some (note, not ALL) of the C-19 conspiracy stuff isn't nearly as mad as it ought to be!

 

[PeterY]

On that subject....

Christmas Jumpers.

I agree but we sell lots of second hand ones in the charity shop. I won't wear one though

 

[Techniquest]

Don't start me on the supermarket stuff there, I could write a book on some of the stuff I see in Hereford's supermarkets...Except Waitrose, they seem a little too upmarket for nonsense!

Mind you, the conversation a young woman was very loudly having in the waiting room at Cardiff Queen Street the other week, well that was even worse!

 

[birchesgreen]

On that subject....

Christmas Jumpers.

Yes i agree but...

there was a social media thing at work for wearing your xmas jumper and i took part so i would appear a human being for a change. I did buy one about 10 years ago and i was pleased to find that it still fitted me. To be honest thats probably the highlight of my day

 

[Bald Rick]

Don't start me on the supermarket stuff there, I could write a book on some of the stuff I see in Hereford's supermarkets...Except Waitrose, they seem a little too upmarket for nonsense!

“No Tarquin, put that down! We do NOT have dry pasta!”

 

[ABB125]

“No Tarquin, put that down! We do NOT have dry pasta!”

Do you mean to say that wet pasta is a thing? (Or powdered? ) I never knew that!

 

[Busaholic]

Do you mean to say that wet pasta is a thing? (Or powdered? ) I never knew that!

Dry, as opposed to freshly made. Got to say, I only use dried.

 

[ABB125]

Dry, as opposed to freshly made. Got to say, I only use dried.

Ah, ok

 

[Techniquest]

“No Tarquin, put that down! We do NOT have dry pasta!”

I do like Waitrose for shopping, it must be said, although I naturally don't do a lot there with those prices. They have got some of the nicest looking vegan pigs in duvets I've seen though, mighty tempted to get some later!

Dry, as opposed to freshly made. Got to say, I only use dried.

Same here, the pasta in the fridges of supermarkets has egg in it which the dried long-life stuff doesn't. As far as I know anyway!

 

[gg1]

Family photos as christmas cards.

You could make a good argument for banning all greetings cards full stop on environmental grounds, but none are as naff and cringeworthy as family photo cards.

 

[Cowley]

Family photos as christmas cards.

You could make a good argument for banning all greetings cards full stop on environmental grounds, but none are as naff and cringeworthy as family photo cards.

Things you don’t like about Christmas could be a whole thread on its own (no we’re not doing that )!

When you receive a last minute card from someone that you haven’t sent one to but it’s Christmas Eve and too late to send one back…

 

[Gloster]

Things you don’t like about Christmas could be a whole thread on its own (no we’re not doing that )!

When you receive a last minute card from someone that you haven’t sent one to but it’s Christmas Eve and too late to send one back…

Don’t send any out in the first place. That way nobody is left out, or everybody is left out, but there are no exceptions.

 

[Cowley]

Don’t send any out in the first place. That way nobody is left out, or everybody is left out, but there are no exceptions.

I send a 12 stamp books worth out every year, but it’s mainly to elderly relatives who love all that kind of thing.
I can cope with doing 12 cards just about.