Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[75A]

Leccy & Baccy really rile me.

 

[341o2]

Repeated use of "I think" and "you know", when expressing an opinion or explaining something.
If I do indeed know, why the need for an explanation?

- News media who report merely via the medium of quoted tweets.

Newspaper articles, most of which are quotes from Facebook

 

[43096]

Whilst we're on the subject of supermarkets, use of the word "colleague". As in a big sign up in Sainsbury's saying "If you can't find something you're looking for, please consult a colleague". Now as I don't work there, I'm pretty sure my colleagues won't know where stuff is in Sainsbury's. What they actually mean is "...please ask a member of staff."

But they have to be all cuddly and fluffy and woke and pretend that no one is "staff". So you now have "colleague announcements" - no, you mean it's a "staff announcement".

 

[fishquinn]

"Wokie"?

I’m glad someone else said it, I wasn’t sure what’s be on my list of annoyances but wokies definitely are (and weirdly a controversial one too so I’m pleased you agree)

 

[Techniquest]

Whilst we're on the subject of supermarkets, use of the word "colleague". As in a big sign up in Sainsbury's saying "If you can't find something you're looking for, please consult a colleague". Now as I don't work there, I'm pretty sure my colleagues won't know where stuff is in Sainsbury's. What they actually mean is "...please ask a member of staff."

But they have to be all cuddly and fluffy and woke and pretend that no one is "staff". So you now have "colleague announcements" - no, you mean it's a "staff announcement".

Oh indeed, I think the idea is to try and make staff and management all feel equal with one another.

Yeah, that doesn't work in reality. On paper, it probably sounds all warm and fuzzy, in reality it is nothing of the sort!

 

[SteveM70]

Oh indeed, I think the idea is to try and make staff and management all feel equal with one another.

Yeah, that doesn't work in reality. On paper, it probably sounds all warm and fuzzy, in reality it is nothing of the sort!

Similarly, head offices are increasingly relabelled as support centres. Makes no difference in reality but someone in HR gets to congratulate themselves

 

[XAM2175]

I’m glad someone else said it, I wasn’t sure what’s be on my list of annoyances but wokies definitely are (and weirdly a controversial one too so I’m pleased you agree)

Oh no, I disagree entirely. TT's signature for a while included the word, which is why I quoted it back at him.

 

[BanburyBlue]

It varies by chain and location.

Tesco's extra large store on the outskirts of Bangor requires coins, because of the students who push the the trolleys all the way back to town with their shopping. The Llandudno Jn branch doesn't, because of the different customer base.

Discounters such as Lidl and Aldi always have coin trolleys, because they want customers to return the trolleys to the entrance (and not pay staff to go out and tidy trolleys).

Amazing what people will do to save £1.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Amazing what people will do to save £1.

Not even saving £1... just not having to temporarily store one in the trolley!

On the other hand, it's immensely frustrating to turn up at the supermarket without a £1 in your pocket... especially at the moment, asking the customer service desk for change is treated like a major faux-pas, and once you get the change you have to walk all the way around the supermarket to get back outside to the trolleys!

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

No less painful than seeing it attached it to the end of every post you've ever made. If you're not prepared to defend your opinion, maybe try keeping it to yourself.

No, no I certainly am, and thank you for bringing it up! This is a thread about what I would ban, and I would certainly ban a lifestyle where the new normal is getting offended by pictures of salads that include eggs.

 

[alex397]

Anyone who has fake plastic grass who then spends their Sunday morning hoovering it should probably be sent to Mars.

 

[Ianno87]

People who go ballistic at the slightest bit of light drizzle. It's only a bit of water, nobody is going to melt or anything.

 

[fishquinn]

Oh no, I disagree entirely. TT's signature for a while included the word, which is why I quoted it back at him.

Ohh, just seen the status messages so I get it now. I definitely think wokie culture is pathetic and just avoids the actual issues of discrimination by taking offence at things like ‘ladies and gentlemen’ and the like, effectively someone trying to grab people’s attention by being offended by any slight thing. Of course things like racism, sexism, homophobia etc deserve to be criticised but some of it is absolutely pathetic imo

 

[Techniquest]

Ohh, just seen the status messages so I get it now. I definitely think wokie culture is pathetic and just avoids the actual issues of discrimination by taking offence at things like ‘ladies and gentlemen’ and the like, effectively someone trying to grab people’s attention by being offended by any slight thing. Of course things like racism, sexism, homophobia etc deserve to be criticised but some of it is absolutely pathetic imo

I must be being naive then, I have no idea what's going on but it sounds like that's a good thing. I have a hunch I'd be getting the eyes rolling, based off your post!

I agree thar there are some serious issues which need tackling, from what I understand of 'woke' culture nothing is going to be fixed their way. I would like to say the next generation might well be a bit more civilised, and that's probably how it will be. People in general do seem a lot more sensible these days, but racism I fear will not go away until the last racist passes away with their attitudes going with them.

Maybe in several generations things will work out! I suspect future people will look back on our times and wonder in disbelief at how we ever survived!

 

[Ianno87]

Cards Against Humanity

 

[krus_aragon]

Anyone who has fake plastic grass who then spends their Sunday morning hoovering it should probably be sent to Mars.

A house near ours has a fake plastic lawn at the front, which has several weeds growing through it. It looks ever so odd.

I don't believe the owners hoover it, though.

 

[Spamcan81]

Greene King IPA
Sharp's Doom Bar

Both insipid dishwater IMO.

 

[XAM2175]

No, no I certainly am, and thank you for bringing it up! This is a thread about what I would ban, and I would certainly ban a lifestyle where the new normal is getting offended by pictures of salads that include eggs.

That's your definition? You're clutching your pearls over the future of society because of three people on Twitter?
(and by the way; it would be more correct to say "the level... is reaching unheard-of proportions")

Ohh, just seen the status messages so I get it now. I definitely think wokie culture is pathetic and just avoids the actual issues of discrimination by taking offence at things like ‘ladies and gentlemen’ and the like, effectively someone trying to grab people’s attention by being offended by any slight thing. Of course things like racism, sexism, homophobia etc deserve to be criticised but some of it is absolutely pathetic imo

There will always be people in all areas of society that might be best referred to as "professional victims". The important thing is in separating the actions of vocal minorities seeking to manufacture outrage - which can be found on both the left and the right - from what should be reasoned, sincere, and considerate discussion.

In any case - this is drifting somewhat from the premise of the thread.

 

[duncanp]

Travelodge pestering you several times to write a review every time you stay there.

It is bad enough them sending out an e-mail saying "We value your feedback", but then if you ignore it they send out another one saying "We've noticed that you haven't responded yet"

The reason I haven't responded yet is because I have deleted your e-mail.

Just go away and leave me alone will you.

 

[Paul Jones 88]

Tik Tok

 

[Techniquest]

Tik Tok

Absolutely!

 

[py_megapixel]

Re. artificial lawns - in my opinion it is ludicrous that they don't require planning permission.

 

[duncanp]

Anyone who complains about too many mobile phone masts, or about a new mobile phone mast being erected in their area, should be banned from owning a mobile phone.

 

[westv]

Veganism.

 

[py_megapixel]

Veganism.

Why, and more importantly how on earth would you enforce that?

 

[pdeaves]

how on earth would you enforce that?

You wouldn't. That's the thing about the 'light hearted' nature of this thread.

 

[Techniquest]

Veganism.

Speaking as a vegan (not quite a full month of it yet, been building to it for a lot longer), I would ban those who constantly brag about it. The ideals of veganism should stay, but you know the type of people I mean. The sort that have to mention their lifestyle at least once a day, the sort that preach endlessly about it.

Everyone I want to know knows I've gone over to veganism, but I don't go on about it. Always happy to answer questions of course!

 

[S&CLER]

I've now stayed in 2 hotels, at St Bees and Gillingham, that had those dreadful old-fashioned toasters where you lay the bread flat on a tray, it proceeds slowly through the innards of the machine and emerges half-done on one side; but if you put it back in again, it is burnt to a crisp. Why don't these hotels invest a few hundred quid in a decent catering-standard Dualit?

 

[nlogax]

I've now stayed in 2 hotels, at St Bees and Gillingham, that had those dreadful old-fashioned toasters where you lay the bread flat on a tray, it proceeds slowly through the innards of the machine and emerges half-done on one side; but if you put it back in again, it is burnt to a crisp. Why don't these hotels invest a few hundred quid in a decent catering-standard Dualit?

Guest throughput. Less efficient to have a single toaster than a conveyor belt that converts bread into pure carbon for multiple hungry people.

 

[gg1]

Speaking as a vegan (not quite a full month of it yet, been building to it for a lot longer), I would ban those who constantly brag about it. The ideals of veganism should stay, but you know the type of people I mean. The sort that have to mention their lifestyle at least once a day, the sort that preach endlessly about it.

Everyone I want to know knows I've gone over to veganism, but I don't go on about it. Always happy to answer questions of course!

There's definitely a vocal minority of vegans who give vegans generally a bad name.

One of the worst examples is the hate mail, up to and including death threats, vegan comedian Sara Pascoe received from fellow vegans for appearing on a cookery show where other participants were using animal products. The idea that demonstrating vegan food can be tasty may encourage more people to go vegan seems to be completely lost on them.