The Great British Bash Off

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4SRKT

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If television can make something as mundane as baking cakes into a competitive activity attracting millions of viewers then surely anything is possible.

My idea is The Great British Bash Off. How it works is this. A number of competitors are given £250 each in cash and a credit account that can be used online. One month ahead they have to plan out a week’s worth of bashing (the month being to allow use of advances). The object is to plan and execute the most ambitious week’s worth of rail travel possible. Everything must come out of the £500, including accommodation and food. The purpose of splitting it into cash and credit is to make participants think carefully what they book online and what they pay on the day (both in terms of travel and accommodation). The purpose of £500 is to put an ALR out of reach.

The competitors will be booking and travelling entirely as they would IRL, with the one exception that if they are making a move that qualifies for delay repay the voucher will be immediately forthcoming rather than having to wait weeks for the application to get to the top of some weary clerk’s in-tray. There will be no special allocations of tickets for the competition; the competitors are competing for deals on the open market.

The basic scoring structure will be one point per mile travelled. Travelling at night clearly builds up mileage and is to be encouraged. Additional points/penalties can be awarded for certain types of move, for example:

• Extra/fewer points for certain types of traction (not going to get into which types here for fear of starting a flame war, but TBC)
• Extra points for successfully pulling off a Man of Steel move.
• Points deducted for a Move to Oblivion (over and above financial consequences of putting right such a move)
• Points deducted for being too rancid as a result of too many overnight moves on the cushions or rough sleeping (effectively forcing at least some moves in hotels or in the cabins on sleepers). Daily rancidness inspections will be a feature.
• Points awarded for rare track (definition of this TBC)
• If there is any money left in the kitty at the end then this can be converted to points. This shouldn’t be too generous, in order to discourage cash hoarding that could mean less actual travelling and a more boring programme.
• Certain stations to be awarded Obscurity Bonus Points to encourage travel to places like Mallaig or Wick that otherwise would be unlikely to feature in a straightforward mileage race. Just thundering up and down the ECML would make a boring experience for both competitors and viewers.

This would make excellent telly IMHO, especially if the competitors were some of the ‘characters’ I’m sure many of us are familiar with. Your thoughts please!
 
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4SRKT

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Yes, the name needs some working on. The Great British Crank Off isn't much better either.
 

Seung205

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If it's going to be shown on Television X the names OK, might disappoint the viewers though.
 

4SRKT

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Correct. The name is an issue as Television X is not the target audience!
 

SPADTrap

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Correct. The name is an issue as Television X is not the target audience!

On the contrary, it should stay as we love a good word play! Are any of the 'bashers' still going? 'Main men' or however they grade themselves?
 

4SRKT

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OK, the GBBO it remains! ??????

I'm not sure if the Main Men of yesteryear would be equipped for the complexities of this TBH. Unless they've never stopped bashing they would find modern fares 'structures' baffling. Also you don't get points for bunking the fare; can't be encouraging that on prime time telly!
 

Essexman

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It might work but I suspect the rules would have to be rather more simple and the contestants third rate celebrities.

And forgive my ignorance, what's a 'Man of Steel' move.
 

4SRKT

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A Man of Steel move is attempting a connection of zero minutes or less.
 

4SRKT

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Fashion points an interesting twist. No more basher chic and plenty of coloured jackets! Also difficult to keep clean while bashing so adding extra difficulty with the Rancidness Penalty system.
 

TheEdge

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Or, in the style of "I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue", call it Newhaven Marine.
 

d9003meld

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Who would host the show?
We would need a male and female judge both experts in bashing, plus two female 'celebrity' hosts.
 

4SRKT

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As long as it's not Ant and Dick.

How about Pete Waterman? He could reprise his double act with Michaela Strachan from The Hit Man and Her.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Can just see Pete getting all excited as one of the contestants staggers off a massively delayed Night Riviera caused by class 57 failure to receive his delay repay voucher but have to replan his entire itinerary. Cursing FGW, GM and Brush in equal measure as he does.
 

Minilad

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Surely proper hardcore bashers of old would be more interested in doing as many miles as possible for as little money as possible. Preferably nothing at all....allegedly...cough cough....
 

Crossover

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OK, the GBBO it remains! ��

I'm not sure if the Main Men of yesteryear would be equipped for the complexities of this TBH. Unless they've never stopped bashing they would find modern fares 'structures' baffling. Also you don't get points for bunking the fare; can't be encouraging that on prime time telly!

Can't quite believe I am posting this, but bonus points for enacting alternative meaning of the aforementioned title? Good grief, this reminds me of that MHC thread again!
 

PermitToTravel

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There should be extra points for idiocy, e.g. any mileage achieved while carrying an animal is subject to a multiplier of 1.2x (3.2x for any mammals other than cats or dogs). Very large amounts of bonus miles for visiting certain out-of-the-way settlements that have been Beechinged, like Ashby-de-la-Zouche or Grendon Underwood. A small number of bonus points for taking Crossover's suggestion above in a train toilet, or very large number of points for doing so elsewhere in the saloon
 

Bertie the bus

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Points deducted for being too rancid as a result of too many overnight moves on the cushions or rough sleeping (effectively forcing at least some moves in hotels or in the cabins on sleepers). Daily rancidness inspections will be a feature.

...

This would make excellent telly IMHO, especially if the competitors were some of the ‘characters’ I’m sure many of us are familiar with. Your thoughts please!

Surely if you want to attract some of the bashing "characters" rancidicity must be encouraged and rewarded.
 

D841 Roebuck

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I've just had a quick shufti at various regional Rover/Ranger prices and split fares.

Without the use of advances, I reckon I can travel on every TOC, every type of motive power on the mainland network (although the 57s on the Night Riviera might be difficult) and visit Wick and Penzance in the course of the week. Scoring every London Underground Line, the DLR and Metrolink/Croydon trams should be feasible also.

With advances instead of one or more Rovers, costs could be brought down to a level such that the Isle of Widget could be visited and/or the Nottingham/Sheffield/Birmingham/Edinburgh trams and Clockwork Orange in Glasgow could be added to the list.

The use of a tent (12.50 from Argos) and the liberal consumption of Pot Noodles to reduce costs forms a vital part of the plans.

One caveat - under no circumstances would I agree to be televised....

Otherwise I'm up for this if someone gives me 500 quid. Tempted to do it anyway, for the hell of it... :)
 

4SRKT

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I've just had a quick shufti at various regional Rover/Ranger prices and split fares.

Without the use of advances, I reckon I can travel on every TOC, every type of motive power on the mainland network (although the 57s on the Night Riviera might be difficult) and visit Wick and Penzance in the course of the week. Scoring every London Underground Line, the DLR and Metrolink/Croydon trams should be feasible also.

With advances instead of one or more Rovers, costs could be brought down to a level such that the Isle of Widget could be visited and/or the Nottingham/Sheffield/Birmingham/Edinburgh trams and Clockwork Orange in Glasgow could be added to the list.

The use of a tent (12.50 from Argos) and the liberal consumption of Pot Noodles to reduce costs forms a vital part of the plans.

One caveat - under no circumstances would I agree to be televised....

Otherwise I'm up for this if someone gives me 500 quid. Tempted to do it anyway, for the hell of it... :)

Interesting. You are somewhat ruling yourself out by refusing to be televised however!

The Night Riviera is a service train as well as a sleeper so it's easy. Just do it London > Reading or Penzance > Camborne or something. Extra points for TOC variety another way to discourage simple shuttling between York and the Cross on EC and Grand Central to get massive miles.

I am concerned that after a week in a tent and eating only pot noodles you will lose most of your points on Rancidness Penalties though.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Can't quite believe I am posting this, but bonus points for enacting alternative meaning of the aforementioned title? Good grief, this reminds me of that MHC thread again!

The Metre High Club thread! That was years ago......
 
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Bertie the bus

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Have you considered a celebrity version? It could include some celebs well known for their interest in trains such as Michael Palin and Pete Waterman and some novices like somebody out of Girls Aloud and Emmerdale.

Or even a pro-celebrity version. Dame Helen Mirren chained to Jed on a Chiltern loco hauled would make good TV.
 

Baxenden Bank

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Can't quite believe I am posting this, but bonus points for enacting alternative meaning of the aforementioned title? Good grief, this reminds me of that MHC thread again!

You mean like this?

From ‘The Sentinel’ (Stoke-on-Trent), 1 August 2015.

Pervert was 'thrown off' two buses for performing sex act

PERVERT Anthony Carr has been jailed after he was spotted carrying out a sex act on himself – on two buses.

The convicted sex offender was travelling on a bus between Stone and Newcastle when the first incident happened in June......
 

4SRKT

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Extra points for journeys on a pacer that take longer than an hour?

That was the sort of thing I had in mind TBH, but then I like pacers!
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Extra points for journeys on a pacer that take longer than an hour?

Have you considered a celebrity version? It could include some celebs well known for their interest in trains such as Michael Palin and Pete Waterman and some novices like somebody out of Girls Aloud and Emmerdale.

Or even a pro-celebrity version. Dame Helen Mirren chained to Jed on a Chiltern loco hauled would make good TV.

Not sure how well this works when Michael Palin has to tell the one off of Girls Aloud that he's found a very cheap deal on the Night Riviera but they're going to have to bunk up together.
 
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