You know you’re getting older when……

[Gloster]

When your surgery rings to say their newly appointed GP Dr Prescott wants to have a telephone consultation with you next week, you reply ''I wondered what John was doing these days'', the receptionist says ''that's not her name!'' and you realise the attempted joke has gone down like a lead balloon.

When you realise that someone is starting work as a GP, something you though had ceased to exist years ago.

 

[duncanp]

When your surgery rings to say their newly appointed GP Dr Prescott wants to have a telephone consultation with you next week, you reply ''I wondered what John was doing these days'', the receptionist says ''that's not her name!'' and you realise the attempted joke has gone down like a lead balloon.

The GP surgery rings you and says that the doctor would like to see you next week?

What lucky country is this in?

Can't be the UK, because to get an appointment here you have to join the 8am telephone scrum, wait on hold for at least half an hour, grovel with the receptionist, and if you are fortunate the GP might condescend to call you back in three weeks time. (By which time you will have either recovered or died)

 

[dgl]

View attachment 117063
Years ago I kept the glass dial from my grandparents’ old radiogram. It still sits on a shelf at home amongst plenty of other clutter.

Guessing thats a Bush VHFNN of some sorts, there's a Bush VHF64 at my grans old place that still works, and sometime still gets used. Though the 100MHz tuning limit on VHF/FM (well it's really at least 101Mhz as Kiss FM is recieveable) is a little limiting.

 

[Calthrop]

When your surgery rings to say their newly appointed GP Dr Prescott wants to have a telephone consultation with you next week, you reply ''I wondered what John was doing these days'', the receptionist says ''that's not her name!'' and you realise the attempted joke has gone down like a lead balloon.

I'd be tempted to say -- "oh, did he take up medicine after writing the Conquests of Mexico and Peru?" -- and totally weird the receptionist out.

 

[neilmc]

When trains have started being withdrawn for scrap that you didn't know had even been built

 

[Busaholic]

The GP surgery rings you and says that the doctor would like to see you next week?

What lucky country is this in?

Can't be the UK, because to get an appointment here you have to join the 8am telephone scrum, wait on hold for at least half an hour, grovel with the receptionist, and if you are fortunate the GP might condescend to call you back in three weeks time. (By which time you will have either recovered or died)

A brief explanation.

First of all, it's only going to be a telephone call, not a face-to-face appointment.

Secondly, despite my protestations, the fact that I have had to have two emergency ambulance treatments in the last two weeks, including one visit to A and E, has brought me to the attention of the 'authorities' as a recently widowered man whose MS and other conditions does make me 'vulnerable' in their eyes, so there is an element of box ticking. I don't want to sound ungrateful, it's just I could have done with a bit more attention before things got to this stage.

 

[Lost property]

When buying a bacon sarnie and you are asked "Red or brown mate ? " ...and you reply, "tomato please " and the reply is "sorry, red or brown sauce only mate " ....as encountered yesterday.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

When buying a bacon sarnie and you are asked "Red or brown mate ? " ...and you reply, "tomato please " and the reply is "sorry, red or brown sauce only mate " ....as encountered yesterday.

Was this supposed to be in the light-hearted ban thread? Because unless the server was having a laugh themselves, they need to get in the sea. Not sure it's an age thing, just an idiot thing.

 

[Xenophon PCDGS]

This morning, at the age of 77, I made myself an early morning coffee at 0500, put two sugars in it, but instead of putting the sugar bowl back in the cupboard, I just stopped myself from putting it in the microwave...

 

[Acey]

You forget what this thread is about

 

[Ashley Hill]

This morning, at the age of 77, I made myself an early morning coffee at 0500, put two sugars in it, but instead of putting the sugar bowl back in the cupboard, I just stopped myself from putting it in the microwave...

That’s nothing,I put orangeade in the kettle the other day and I’m 25 years younger!

 

[Busaholic]

This morning, at the age of 77, I made myself an early morning coffee at 0500, put two sugars in it, but instead of putting the sugar bowl back in the cupboard, I just stopped myself from putting it in the microwave...

It's when you start putting salt in your coffee you've got to start worrying. Having said that,it'll probably be an option in your local Costa within the next five years!

 

[Ashley Hill]

It's when you start putting salt in your coffee you've got to start worrying. Having said that,it'll probably be an option in your local Costa within the next five years!

If you fancy that try Starbucks Salted Caramel mocha .

 

[Dai Corner]

If you fancy that try Starbucks Salted Caramel mocha .

I know I'm old as I avoid coffee shops with bewildering selections of flavours and sizes in favour of cafés offering tea, black coffee or white coffee in a teapot, cup or mug.

 

[johnnychips]

I’m getting really old when I resent going to chain coffee shops that evidently the younger generation find so attractive, but if I’m desperate the ‘barista’ tells me my plain black coffee is an ‘Americano’ and charges me over two quid.

 

[Ashley Hill]

I’m getting really old when I resent going to chain coffee shops that evidently the younger generation find so attractive, but if I’m desperate the ‘barista’ tells me my plain black coffee is an ‘Americano’ and charges me over two quid.

Try asking for a cup of tea. It’s like you’ve asked for a glass of petrol!

 

[duncanp]

Try asking for a cup of tea. It’s like you’ve asked for a glass of petrol!

Or paying using this old fashioned method known as "cash".

 

[The Ham]

Or paying using this old fashioned method known as "cash".

I know of this cash you speak of because it's something we used in the past and still have to provide to the children for them to have in at school for raising money for charity when they don't wear school uniform and it's a pain to ensure that we have it.

I think they do this so that the children can relate their teaching about money to something physical other than some rectangular piece of plastic.

I wasn't aware that it was used much within mainstream retail settings, other than toy shops where said children have birthday money provided by great grandparents (birthday money from grandparents appears in their savings accounts) to spend.

 

[Busaholic]

Or paying using this old fashioned method known as "cash".

Cash came in very useful in my local Costa yesterday afternoon when their card machine went down and the 'emergency' response was a minimum 36 hour wait for it to be fixed. Shortly after that, they'd run out of change, with so many prices ending in 5 or 10p! As I always make sure I have a five pound note in my wallet, plus a fiver in loose change where possible, I was alright, Jack.

 

[Loppylugs]

My wife keeps reminding me of an incident which happened a couple of weeks ago in our local park. When walking together I came over all woozy and luckily a nurse was passing. " Do you have vertigo?" she enquired. "No" I replied, "we only live round the corner! ".

 

[duncanp]

My wife keeps reminding me of an incident which happened a couple of weeks ago in our local park. When walking together I came over all woozy and luckily a nurse was passing. " Do you have vertigo?" she enquired. "No" I replied, "we only live round the corner! ".

With jokes like that you should try getting a comedians' spot in a local pub.....

.....at closing time. Once you start, people will soon drink up and leave.

 

[Loppylugs]

With jokes like that you should try getting a comedians' spot in a local pub.....

.....at closing time. Once you start, people will soon drink up and leave.

Wish it was a joke. Went out without my hearing aid !!

 

[Busaholic]

This morning, at the age of 77, I made myself an early morning coffee at 0500, put two sugars in it, but instead of putting the sugar bowl back in the cupboard, I just stopped myself from putting it in the microwave...

I was genuinely worried that when you heard of the Severe Red Warning you'd assume the worst and order the drawbridge up at Chateau K, the moat to be topped up and piranha fish introduced before an attempted incursion by Brothers Corbyn J. and McDonnell, with Ken Livingstone bringing up the rear.

 

[johnnychips]

This morning, at the age of 77, I made myself an early morning coffee at 0500, put two sugars in it, but instead of putting the sugar bowl back in the cupboard, I just stopped myself from putting it in the microwave...

I’ve recently put a Penguin in the bin and tried to eat the wrapper.

 

[Loppylugs]

Went to Aldi's yesterday morning with Mrs. L in order to top up the dwindling supplies of lollies in the freezer. Came out with four packs of differing varieties. After we had been home for a couple of hours my wife asked if I had got them in the freezer ok. Oops, they were still in the car boot! Had it been the day before I'm sure I would have been mopping up a huge mess after nearly 40 degrees of heat. Just a small senior moment.

 

[Gloster]

You do what I did today. On the way back from collecting stuff from my old house I stopped at the shop, something that I rarely do, to get some milk and one or two oddments. Put most of the oddments on the roof while I leant in and made sure the milk was properly stowed so that it wouldn’t fall over. Then got in the car and drove off without taking the oddments off the roof. (At least two people must have seen this, but they did nothing.)

 

[nlogax]

I’ve recently put a Penguin in the bin and tried to eat the wrapper.

I think we've found our winner

 

[nw1]

Provoked by a video of a younger and more liberal Truss, aged about 19, on the Tory candidates thread:

You know you're getting old when many of your contemporaries express right-wing, conservative views that they wouldn't have been seen dead uttering when they were in their teens or twenties.

 

[Calthrop]

Provoked by a video of a younger and more liberal Truss, aged about 19, on the Tory candidates thread

Not about getting older; but -- I am deliberately as oblivious as possible, to politics and current affairs: probably not an admirable choice, but I find it necessary in the interests of remaining kind-of sane. Up to not very many months ago, I was genuinely unaware of the existence of Liz Truss. Often when her name comes up now, my first thought is -- "Goodness me ! Has 'the punctuation lady' gone into politics, then?"

 

[Welshman]

I've stayed in hotels, showered, wondered why I couldn't get much lather, and later discovered I'd used body lotion instead!
[I need spectacles all the time, and I suppose I should make a preliminary investigation of the shower room suitably bespectacled, read all the labels, and place the shower gel, shampoo etc in places I'd remember before returning to the bedroom to take them off.]
But, first thing in the morning, when I'm hungry, I just couldn't be bothered!

Then, at breakfast, I've carefully poured orange juice all over my muesli before now, and this is when I'm wearing my spectacles.