Amusing quotes

[Tom]

Very, very long post.

<tastycake> anyone know of a voice changer program
<denke> ya
<denke> its called puberty

<Rjx> How to get laid? Uninstall Linux.
<Rjx> case closed

udehammer> when i get my degree, i'm going to write a program that kills bill gates whenever windows crashes
<crib|o22> at least you have one person to hate... when linux crashes you've got thousands to hate

<Jaymz> how to tell you're a nerd 101: it's not "wrong window", it's "wrong pc"

dan: so, april fools day.
dan: trust nobody.
david: im gay.
dan: its not april the 1st for another 30 seconds.
david: ffs.

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was an impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in ****ing EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our ****ing phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! **** **** ****
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

:mrgreen: :mrgreen:

< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.

<YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
<YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie ([email protected]) has joined #
<YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF

.

<Insomniak`> Stupid ****ing Google
<Insomniak`> "The" is a common word, and was not included in your search
<Insomniak`> "Who" is a common word, and was not included in your search

Me: what yer doing today
Nathan: workin in the morning them im all yours in the afternoon
Me: err, ok...

<Ich> I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood
<Ich> I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040.
<Ich> and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong.
<Ich> and the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404"
<Ich> and I actually laughed out loud

<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

<Axe> I
<Axe> do
<Axe> not
<Axe> know
<Axe> where
<Axe> family
<Axe> doctors
<Axe> acquired
<Axe> illegibly
<Axe> perplexing
<Axe> handwriting;
<Axe> nevertheless,
<Axe> extraordinary
<Axe> pharmaceutical
<Axe> intellectuality,
<Axe> counterbalancing
<Axe> indecipherability,
<Axe> transcendentalizes
<Axe> intercommunications'
<Axe> incomprehensibleness.
<JediHobbes> woah
<JediHobbes> *blinks*

<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?
<p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics
<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free

 

[Beaker]

The Who one is pretty good.

 

[Nathan]

<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was an impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

That was a good one lol

 

[mbonwick]

All quite amusing ign5:

 

[Guinness]

The Hacking and Google ones are good.

 

[Coxster]

This one fits Tom perfectly!

<Jaymz> how to tell you're a nerd 101: it's not "wrong window", it's "wrong pc"

 

[Tom]

I can't actually do wrong PC at the moment....only got 1 machine connected to the KVM switch.

 

[Guinness]

I can't actually do wrong PC at the moment....only got 1 machine connected to the KVM switch.

That's a Shame Tom. I've only got one PC connected to the PLUG.

 

[Mintona]

Loving the Mac right clicky one

 

[Coxster]

I can't actually do wrong PC at the moment....only got 1 machine connected to the KVM switch.

Your computer is connected to your what now?

 

[mbonwick]

The device which allows multiple PC's to be controlled from the same keyboard, mouse and monitor (Keyboard Video Mouse)

Ha. I know someting that Damon doesn't!

 

[Coxster]

The device which allows multiple PC's to be controlled from the same keyboard, mouse and monitor (Keyboard Video Mouse) Ha. I know someting that Damon doesn't!

Hmmm, well personally I use my C84XHDI-3 SE+ device port control system, but hey - these amateurs like Tom...

 

[mbonwick]

Simple really, I have 1 PC, 1 mouse, 1 keyboard, 1 monitor. All connected directly.

 

[kettlefan]

I am going to have to try the slinky one