Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Mcr Warrior]

I thought "staycation" meant staying within your local area - i.e. not physically going on holiday at all?

For me, anything which involves a journey of more than trivial length followed by an overnight stay, is a holiday.

Seems to have a dual meaning, so that a 'staycation' can mean either a holiday spent in one's home country rather than abroad, and/or just one spent at home and involving day trips to local places and attractions.

 

[gg1]

I thought "staycation" meant staying within your local area - i.e. not physically going on holiday at all?

It does, but the past year or so it has started to be used to mean any UK holiday, good to see I'm not the only one who's irritated by this change.

 

[hst43102]

- Drivers that decelerate verrrrryyyy gently towards any stoppage and then crawl for the last 100 metres before finally stopping. Seriously, just get there and stop!

That's me! No point wasting the fuel if you have to stop!

 

[Mcr Warrior]

That's me! No point wasting the fuel if you have to stop!

Or wearing the vehicle's brakes out unnecessarily!

 

[krus_aragon]

Maybe the newer trains should have more windows that can be opened to reduce topless passengers in heatwaves?

By throwing them out?!

 

[nlogax]

That's me! No point wasting the fuel if you have to stop!

Either they don't want to waste fuel or they use engine braking and don't want to waste precious brake light bulbs.

 

[SteveM70]

Rupert Murdoch, Paul Dacre and Richard Desmond

People who hoover up limited edition records on record store day and have them listed on ebay at massively inflated prices within half an hour

People who start their coffee orders with “can I get…..”

Those toasters they have in hotels that are like a conveyor belt. One lap for warm bread, two laps for charcoal, the fire alarm and evacuation to the car park

 

[Meerkat]

Drivers who come steaming up to roundabouts and stop right on the line.
Its actually slower for them as I ease off my way round in case they aren’t stopping.
I prefer to be going slow before the line to be clear I am stopping and so I have acceleration space to get into smaller gaps.

 

[birchesgreen]

Along those lines:
- Drivers who are several cars down the queue at red lights but still start moving the moment the lights change, only to have to stop again immediately until the queue picks up.

I do that all the time as i am alert to the lights changing unlike the lazy oafs in front

 

[Techniquest]

Not another reformed ex-smoker and drinker, and latter day vegetarian to boot

One thing I'd like ban is cyclists on pavements.

I'm not just veggie, I recently finished transforming into a vegan as well I'll spare you my views on smokers, especially those who refuse to quit even after being diagnosed with illnesses...

Cyclists on pavements, where it is not allocated to shared use, I agree with. Admittedly I am no saint, last week I did have one ride which saw me on a deserted pavement for a short time...

 

[GrimsbyPacer]

I thought that Grexit was coined first (when it looked like Greece may be leaving the Euro due to the financial crisis)?

Grexit made more sense as a word than Brexit (and Scexit is a terrible word!)

I agree, I used Grexit on my original post. There will be a football "xit" in the next few months as a player or manager will leave the England team I bet, the word is that over used.

and agree with others about staycations, if I go to Bridlington it's a holiday, if I go overseas it's a holiday, if I spend 2 nights in Preston it's a holiday, never a staycation, which if anything would be staying at home with a bucket and spade in hand on a pretend holiday.

 

[hst43102]

One thing I'd like ban is cyclists on pavements.

I'll admit to cycling on the pavement when it's completely empty and there is heavy traffic on the road, but I really can't stand going into a town centre and having cyclists tearing down the pavements which are full of people with no regard whatsoever. Leicester is particularly bad for this - one of them caught my backpack and almost knocked me over, and didn't even stop to see if I was ok. Which brings me on to my next few ban-able things :

- Deliveroo / Just Eat / Uber Eats etc. Enables people to get junk food with literally no exercise, treats and pays the workers terribly, and fills the streets up with rude cyclists with oversized boxes on the pavements.
- Drive through fast food / coffee, ESPECIALLY at motorway service stations. Actually, I think this one is a genuine concern and I wonder why it hasn't been banned yet.

 

[SteveM70]

- Drive through fast food / coffee, ESPECIALLY at motorway service stations. Actually, I think this one is a genuine concern and I wonder why it hasn't been banned yet.

Which reminds me - ridiculously inflated prices for coffee at service stations, invariably accompanied by the person on the till saying “that’s just £3.30”

 

[LSWR Cavalier]

Drive through fast food could certainly be banned. Perhaps the cops could lurk nearby and try to deal with those trying to drive while trying to eat and drink.

The drive-in near me now offers delivery. But why do people order so much food instead of preparing it themselves? A frozen pizza, upgraded with onion leek, etc can be ready in five minutes.
..
'Thats just 9.99, love!'

 

[nlogax]

- Drive through fast food / coffee, ESPECIALLY at motorway service stations. Actually, I think this one is a genuine concern and I wonder why it hasn't been banned yet.

Personal responsibilty v public health concerns - where do we draw the line? I'd argue that one is a step too far.

On the motorway services topic, I would ban price gouging for fuel.

 

[Ianno87]

Staycation? Glamping!

Perhaps americanisms could be restricted, and europeanisms encouraged.
..
I think people who urge 'more cycling!' should mention that they also want 'less motoring! ' (if they do want that, have thought about it).

Drivers complaining about traffic (when they are the traffic)

 

[ABB125]

On the motorway services topic, I would ban price gouging for fuel.

Oh yes, definitely! I was recently at a service station, and the fuel was a good 15p more expensive per litre than the surrounding area.

 

[Mat17]

Market survey people who wander around town centres with clipboards.

 

[nlogax]

Market survey people who wander around town centres with clipboards.

In a similar vein, YouGov.

 

[WelshBluebird]

The idea that because some cyclists break the rules that all cyclists are bad and should be banned. How about we use that same logic with motorists and see what happens!!

- Deliveroo / Just Eat / Uber Eats etc. Enables people to get junk food with literally no exercise, treats and pays the workers terribly, and fills the streets up with rude cyclists with oversized boxes on the pavements.

The drive-in near me now offers delivery. But why do people order so much food instead of preparing it themselves? A frozen pizza, upgraded with onion leek, etc can be ready in five minutes.

In terms of fast food delivery specifically, there are few things that people criticising it often forget (or decide to ignore):

1. Such options aren't meant to be used everyday, so if you use them once in a while what exactly is the problem? Can you really blame the companies for people going overboard?
2. Such options are a huge relief in a variety of scenarios (your oven breaks down, or you've just come out of hospital and can't currently cook, or you've just come back from holiday and either don't have food at home yet or don't want to cook as soon as you get home, or some cases like the last year where you've had to isolate so haven't been allowed to go to the shop to get food, or as mentioned above you just want a treat!).
3. Are they really any different to the variety of takeaways that have existed for decades beforehand anyway (that usually offered delivery locally)?

 

[Ianno87]

Student politics.

 

[Bald Rick]

Oh yes, definitely! I was recently at a service station, and the fuel was a good 15p more expensive per litre than the surrounding area.

I saw diesel at a service area last week at £1.56.9 / litre

 

[ABB125]

I saw diesel at a service area last week at £1.56.9 / litre

That's the exact same price I saw, at Michaelwood on the M5.

 

[gg1]

But why do people order so much food instead of preparing it themselves? A frozen pizza, upgraded with onion leek, etc can be ready in five minutes.

...but won't taste anywhere near as nice as a decent takeaway pizza.

 

[Gloster]

Comedians, particularly stand-up ones, who think that adding obscenities makes a routine, story or joke funnier (or even funny when it isn’t).

And audience members who laugh loudly to show how sophisticated, with-it or adult they are.

 

[NoMorePacers]

Housefiles. Wouldn't mind if they went extinct.

 

[birchesgreen]

Singing contests on TV, can all get in the sea.

 

[alex397]

Breakfast radio presenters. I really don’t want inane chatter shouted at me at 6.30am. I need something calm and sedate to get me up, so I refuse the radio in the mornings and listen to my own music.
I am much less tolerant with any radio station with adverts, so that just leaves me with the BBC stations.

And a few public transport annoyances - people sitting right next to each other almost shouting. Noisy or smelly food. Music played out loud, usually on rubbish mobile phone speakers which make even my favourite songs sound truly awful.

As you can tell, I find noisy people and noisy things a common annoyance. Unless it’s a Class 313 (and all the similar classes) - they can make as much noise as they like

 

[gg1]

When I am supreme leader, the following will be banned:

Ties - uncomfortable, get in the way and serve no useful function whatsoever
Coffee - I can't stand the stench
Dog breeds which are smaller than the average cat - just wrong
Could of, would of, should of - no explanation necessary

 

[nlogax]

Coffee - I can't stand the stench

You'll be tearing that super extra large mug of Americano from my cold, dead hands.