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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

Gloster

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Turning the iPad on specifically to look something up, being sidetracked by something or other, spending too long on the pad, switching off...and then realising that I had forgotten to look up whatever it was I originally intended to. This happens most days: I am not sure if it is an expression of the infinite variety of the Internet or a reminder of my failing memory.
 
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Busaholic

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Turning the iPad on specifically to look something up, being sidetracked by something or other, spending too long on the pad, switching off...and then realising that I had forgotten to look up whatever it was I originally intended to. This happens most days: I am not sure if it is an expression of the infinite variety of the Internet or a reminder of my failing memory.
That's life, the universe and everything, as someone once said (can't remember who ;) )
 

DelW

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Turning the iPad on specifically to look something up, being sidetracked by something or other, spending too long on the pad, switching off...and then realising that I had forgotten to look up whatever it was I originally intended to. This happens most days: I am not sure if it is an expression of the infinite variety of the Internet or a reminder of my failing memory.
That's just the 21st century version of the traditional habit of going upstairs to get/do something specific, being sidetracked into several other things, and coming downstairs again only to realise when you're back down that you hadn't done the one thing you went up for originally. It's good for the daily step count.
 

gg1

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Inconsistent clothes sizing - irritating enough when it's between different brands but even more so when it occurs within the same design from the same brand.

I'm referring to Crew Clothing, I own a number of their t-shirts, all with the same design aside from the colour (single colour shirt with a small embroidered logo, stitching is identical) in some cases the XL size is a perfect fit, maybe even slightly baggy, in other cases they're noticeably snug. It doesn't seem to be dependant on colour either, last time I bought one I tried on two identical XL navy blue version in the shop, one was notably smaller than the other.
 

birchesgreen

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Inconsistent clothes sizing - irritating enough when it's between different brands but even more so when it occurs within the same design from the same brand.

I'm referring to Crew Clothing, I own a number of their t-shirts, all with the same design aside from the colour (single colour shirt with a small embroidered logo, stitching is identical) in some cases the XL size is a perfect fit, maybe even slightly baggy, in other cases they're noticeably snug. It doesn't seem to be dependant on colour either, last time I bought one I tried on two identical XL navy blue version in the shop, one was notably smaller than the other.
M&S seem bad at this, i have various pairs of their jeans (same type, size) but all slightly different in actual size.
 

dangie

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Inconsistent clothes sizing….
Just bought some new wellies off Amazon. I take size 9 in boots & shoes so after reading the reviews which said they come large, I sent for both size 8 & size 9. I would keep the ones which fit and send the other pair back.

The size 9 was far too big. Size 8 were ok with thickish socks so I kept them. I’m guessing I could have easily worn a size 7.
 

Gloster

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From something I head on the bus today. People who keep on pressing a friend to guess something, usually totally trivial (“Which actress turned down a part in such-and-such film?“, or the like), and then repeatedly ridicule their friend’s answer when they just say anything to shut the inquisitor up.
 

al78

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People who drive as though the speed limits are in kph even on a clear main road where it is safe to go at or at least much closer to the limit. If I can keep up with you on a bicycle for half a mile on a free flowing main road heading out of town with no give way junctions and no pedestrians around, you are driving too slow and might as well be riding a bicycle.

Badly controlled dogs. Recently I was doing a modest walk on the South Downs and got to near Clayton where there was a green space with a couple of benches, so decided to head for one of them to eat lunch. I noticed a woman with a dog ahead and initially walked in her direction but then saw a closer bench across to my left so headed towards it. Next thing I noticed was a dog bounding up at me which, because it had come from behind and I wasn't expecting it, nearly knocked me over, then it kept leaping up at me whilst this woman was blowing a whistle with minimal effect on the dog. I wonder if some of these instances where people have exploded in a fit of rage over something apparently trivial have done so because they have had their tolerance chip chip chipped away by repeated encounters with thoughtless/careless people, and it just took one more irritation to push them over the edge.
 

Bald Rick

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People who drive as though the speed limits are in kph even on a clear main road where it is safe to go at or at least much closer to the limit.

I‘ve been itching to say that but thought better of it!
 

Richard Scott

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People who drive as though the speed limits are in kph even on a clear main road where it is safe to go at or at least much closer to the limit. If I can keep up with you on a bicycle for half a mile on a free flowing main road heading out of town with no give way junctions and no pedestrians around, you are driving too slow and might as well be riding a bicycle.
Try being in Wales when this happens. Did to me this morning, may as well have been kph as they were doing 14mph! Ridiculous. Wasn't a case of bicycles keeping up, they could easily overtake!
 

Mr. SW

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Stupid things in Films and Television:

Scene: A covert team of special forces operatives rappel from a helicopter into the middle of a jungle teeming with hostile guerrillas. And then have a team briefing, which they should have had earlier back at base, like real special forces do. There is a row over something trivial.
Scene: A gang of people meet in an abandoned warehouse full of old containers and racks with plastic sheeting. Lots of people burst in and fire machine guns without seemingly aiming at anything and oblivious to the prospects of ricochet and collateral damage. Nobody appears to get hurt except the baddies. Ammunition magazines never seem to empty, unless it just happens to be at the 'wrong' moment.
Scene: A Love scene that lasts too long. Yes, I know what they're doing. You don't need to go on about it.
Scene: A man gets knocked out with a single punch. Then recovers a few minutes later. Er - No. That's a trip to hospital with suspected concussion.

Also: Incidental music that's supposed to raise tension. No it doesn't. It merely signals that something horrible's going to happen.
I've given up on cups and pens changing hands, long hair going down the character's back, then on their shoulder, then down their front. People not locking their cars. People opening their front doors wide without checking first. Telephones being answered on one ring, or not being answered during high-tension situations. Maverick cops. etc etc.
 

Busaholic

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Customers in pubs who order a pint, take one sip then leave. Who the hell does that…?

American police & medical drama’s where the detectives & doctors are all under 30 and just out of modelling school.
Conflating those two, maybe they're undercover cops in the pub? :smile:
 

Richardr

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American police & medical drama’s where the detectives & doctors are all under 30 and just out of modelling school.
UK police drama where the main character is over 70 (Vera and A Touch of Frost come to mind).
 
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Bald Rick

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Back to self service checkouts (sorry) …

1) people who spend half their time at the checkout chatting to their partner / friend etc rather than scanning / paying for their purchases. THERE‘S A F***ING QUEUE!!!

2) people who scan their shopping and then, to their immense surprise, realise that they have to pay for their purchases, and spend about 3 minutes looking for their purse / wallet / credit card.


Actually, I’m just going to expand it to “people who are in their own little world have no idea that they are delaying and/or inconveniencing other people”.

(I may or may not have had issues in Sainsbury’s this evening).
 

Lucan

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If I can keep up with you on a bicycle for half a mile on a free flowing main road heading out of town with no give way junctions and no pedestrians around, you are driving too slow and might as well be riding a bicycle.
Maybe they are having to keep to a 20mph limit.
 

Mcr Warrior

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Back to self service checkouts (sorry) …

... 2) people who scan their shopping and then, to their immense surprise, realise that they have to pay for their purchases, and spend about 3 minutes looking for their purse / wallet / credit card...
And then attempt to pay using some payment card, which may or may not work first time, whilst they are stood at the only self service checkout till that also takes cash.
 

Ostrich

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And then attempt to pay using some payment card, which may or may not work first time, whilst they are stood at the only self service checkout till that also takes cash.
And then there's attempting to pay using some payment card which does not work first time and locks the checkout, requiring it to be unlocked by a harrassed staff member, which then does not work a second time, requiring it to be unlocked again by a harrassed staff member, which then does not work a third time, despite an entirely different card being used, requiring it to be unlocked by a by now totally cheesed off staff member, all goods packed back in the trolley and frogmarched to a manned checkout ......

(I may or may not have had issues in Waitrose recently .... and I now no longer use their self-service checkouts, which are all card only, and pay by cash at the "tobacconists" counter. You know it makes sense.)
 

gg1

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And then there's attempting to pay using some payment card which does not work first time and locks the checkout, requiring it to be unlocked by a harrassed staff member, which then does not work a second time, requiring it to be unlocked again by a harrassed staff member, which then does not work a third time, despite an entirely different card being used, requiring it to be unlocked by a by now totally cheesed off staff member, all goods packed back in the trolley and frogmarched to a manned checkout ......
Why would that lock the checkout?

I've had cards refused a few times at self service checkouts and I just use an alternate card with no assistance required from a member of staff.
 

Bald Rick

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And then there's attempting to pay using some payment card which does not work first time and locks the checkout, requiring it to be unlocked by a harrassed staff member, which then does not work a second time, requiring it to be unlocked again by a harrassed staff member, which then does not work a third time, despite an entirely different card being used, requiring it to be unlocked by a by now totally cheesed off staff member, all goods packed back in the trolley and frogmarched to a manned checkout ......

(I may or may not have had issues in Waitrose recently .... and I now no longer use their self-service checkouts, which are all card only, and pay by cash at the "tobacconists" counter. You know it makes sense.)

Is that a waitrose thing? ive never seen or even heard of a checkout locking up before.
 

birchesgreen

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Yes it can lock if a card doesn't work, at least thats happened to me once. Their self-serve checkouts can enter a logic loop of doom sometimes.

However, i've had the same happen at Coop too so i assume its quite normal for these POS.
 

gg1

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Yes it can lock if a card doesn't work, at least thats happened to me once. Their self-serve checkouts can enter a logic loop of doom sometimes.

However, i've had the same happen at Coop too so i assume its quite normal for these POS.
Maybe a technical fault with the system?

The last time I had a card refused was actually at my local Co-Op around a year ago, a different card worked fine straight with no lockups.
 

dangie

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I always use the self scan handheld gizmo in Tesco. Very rarely any problems. The only time I need assistance is when I have age restricted products and need to verify I am over 18 years old. I am 72
 

AM9

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I always use the self scan handheld gizmo in Tesco. Very rarely any problems. The only time I need assistance is when I have age restricted products and need to verify I am over 18 years old. I am 72
Same here with Waitrose handheld scanners, occasionally the fail in use but generally the only problems at the Quick Check tills are the Windows XP based screens that occasionally fail. The most irritating thing with them is that all but one of the four is also available to Self-Scan (which is at the till), if there's a single person there wilth a large trolley full of the weeks shopping, it takes more time than 5 or more Quick Check shoppers to pass through the till.
 

Ostrich

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Yes it can lock if a card doesn't work, at least thats happened to me once. Their self-serve checkouts can enter a logic loop of doom sometimes.

However, i've had the same happen at Coop too so i assume its quite normal for these POS.
That is a very good description of what went down! :lol: All sorts of incomprehensible error code messages came up on the display.

It's happened to me on more than one occassion in that store. And the galling thing is I then go straight into Iceland or Asda and the cards work just fine.
 

Gloster

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A very minor irritant. News videos where the technical bits and the accompanying darker overlay to the image (I hope you know what I mean, but I don’t know the correct terms) at the start continue for so long that you miss an important part or even the whole point of the video. Some repeat the action in the video, but with others you are merely left with images of the result of whatever happened.
 

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