Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Purple Train]

Supermarket aisle signs that do not have items in the order which they are in.

For instance, having:

Eggs Free From
Milk Menswear
Bread Fish*

But the bread is not at the near end, on the left hand side, the eggs aren't at the far end, on the left hand side, etc.

*These are examples and not indicative of the way things are organised in my local Sainsbury's. Although having a disabled toilet that's too narrow for a wheelchair is almost as dysfunctional.

 

[al78]

Maybe they are having to keep to a 20mph limit.

Not on the A281 Guildford road in Horsham, that is a standard 30 mph limit. There is a short section immediately on heading out of town where you have to be careful because of double parking, a row of shops/services and pedestrians waiting to cross, but beyond that section there is no reason to be that slow, other than Horsham appears to be home to some of the world's slowest people.

 

[AM9]

Not on the A281 Guildford road in Horsham, that is a standard 30 mph limit. There is a short section immediately on heading out of town where you have to be careful because of double parking, a row of shops/services and pedestrians waiting to cross, but beyond that section there is no reason to be that slow, other than Horsham appears to be home to some of the world's slowest people drivers who don't want to drive at the same speed as you.

Corrected that for you.

 

[dangie]

The BBC Game Show ‘Only Connect’. I tend to watch it as it follows Mastermind.
I don’t know why I watch it, as not only have I never managed to answer a question correctly, but even after the answer is given I don’t understand it.

 

[Gloster]

Every time there is a news item about a car that has gone off the road, a staple of the Isle of Wight’s media, some clown will make the comment ‘Can’t park there, mate.’ I shouldn’t look, but I read the comments in order to feel superior about the utterly imbecilic thoughts, for want of a better word, of the posters and then worry that many of these numpties are driving cars.

 

[AM9]

The BBC Game Show ‘Only Connect’. I tend to watch it as it follows Mastermind.
I don’t know why I watch it, as not only have I never managed to answer a question correctly, but even after the answer is given I don’t understand it.

I sometimes watch it, and if I'm awake, I might get one or two correct per show. Clearly it's for serious lateral thinkers, rather than a wrinkly who happens to have quite a good long-term memory.

 

[birchesgreen]

I prefer Only Unconnect

 

[Gloster]

The increasing use of different ways to write the date, with (what I think) are American styles slowly but unsystematically moving in. At best they mean extra attention has to be paid to something that should be straightforward, at worst they can lead to errors. (With the Royal Mail’s delivery times nowadays, was that letter sent on the 12th of November or the 11th of December?)

 

[Welly]

The increasing use of different ways to write the date, with (what I think) are American styles slowly but unsystematically moving in. At best they mean extra attention has to be paid to something that should be straightforward, at worst they can lead to errors. (With the Royal Mail’s delivery times nowadays, was that letter sent on the 12th of November or the 11th of December?)

Hard yes! At work I use an US made software to help me support medical equipment and am sick of having to mentally translate the US dates into proper dates every time I check the events log!

 

[al78]

Corrected that for you.

You didn't correct it at all, your self asserted correction was completely incorrect. My comment was about the population of Horsham in general, not just when driving, and as I said, if they are driving slower on a clear main road than I am capable of cycling, they are going too slow IMO unless they are looking for an address.

 

[AM9]

You didn't correct it at all, your self asserted correction was completely incorrect. My comment was about the population of Horsham in general, not just when driving, and as I said, if they are driving slower on a clear main road than I am capable of cycling, they are going too slow IMO unless they are looking for an address.

Please observe that I correected your assertion that "some of the world's slowest people" were there getting in your way in humble Horsham. Clearly nobody could really ascertain whether those drivers were even anywhere near the slowest drivers 'in the world' but for sure you felt that they should be gouing faster than they were because you were able to go faster on a cycle. Fortunately, most drivers recognise that the speed limit is just that, i.e. the maximum speed for that section of road, and the law allows a driver to proceed at a speed that they regard as safe in the conditions at the time. If a following driver has a different opinion of a safe speed it is irrelevant to others.

 

[Gloster]

As an addition to the comment about dates in #6,518 is the appearance of the word draft for (involuntary) military service. Even the Telegraph, that bastion of old-fashioned Englishness and military values (or so it thinks), used the word in a front-page headline. The word in British English is conscription: I know that Sun readers might have trouble with such a long word, but Telegraph reader should cope, even if it isn’t an easy fit in the headline.

 

[birchesgreen]

As an addition to the comment about dates in #6,518 is the appearance of the word draft for (involuntary) military service. Even the Telegraph, that bastion of old-fashioned Englishness and military values (or so it thinks), used the word in a front-page headline. The word in British English is conscription: I know that Sun readers might have trouble with such a long word, but Telegraph reader should cope, even if it isn’t an easy fit in the headline.

Telegraph has been taken over by neocons these days obsessed with America. Colonel Blimp and the Rector have long gone.

 

[Gloster]

The habit of writing, presumably originated by a computer, times in a mixture of styles: 05.30 p.m. It is either 5.30 p.m. or 17.30. These are clear and unmistakeable, so why do some smarta**es use such a potentially confusing method of displaying something so basic.

 

[dangie]

BBC reporters.
Reporting on the trial of former Pakistani cricketer Imran Khan.

'Imran Khan hasn't been seen in public since he began a 3 year jail sentence 6 months ago'

He hasn't been seen in public as he was in prison.....!!!!

 

[75A]

People who drive as though the speed limits are in kph even on a clear main road where it is safe to go at or at least much closer to the limit. If I can keep up with you on a bicycle for half a mile on a free flowing main road heading out of town with no give way junctions and no pedestrians around, you are driving too slow and might as well be riding a bicycle.

Think of us here in Ireland where there are many roads that criss cross the border and the road signs change from mph to kph with regularity.

Telegraph has been taken over by neocons these days obsessed with America. Colonel Blimp and the Rector have long gone.

As have a lot of their readers, myself included.

 

[507021]

The "peel here to open" tabs on packets of bacon which either tear off, rip the film or are impossible to get hold of in the first place.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

The "peel here to open" tabs on packets of bacon which either tear off, rip the film or are impossible to get hold of in the first place.

Hear, hear.

The same applies to shrink wrapped gammon steaks...

 

[Strat-tastic]

And they're on the wrong side or the bacon is arranged wrongly , depending on your point of view.

 

[dangie]

And they're on the wrong side or the bacon is arranged wrongly , depending on your point of view.

Bacon & other sliced packaged meats are arranged so the fatty bits are underneath where you can’t see them usually hidden by the label.

 

[Strat-tastic]

People on Teams meetings from slurping their tea while unmuted.

 

[Sun Chariot]

People on Teams meetings from slurping their tea while unmuted.

I was on a work Teams call once, when the head of R&D unwittingly gave the attendees a "roving reporter" moment - of her walking from home office to her lavatory, leaving her Teams call unmuted as she spent a penny...

 

[75A]

I was on a work Teams call once, when the head of R&D unwittingly gave the attendees a "roving reporter" moment - of her walking from home office to her lavatory, leaving her Teams call unmuted as she spent a penny...

Excellent.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

I was on a work Teams call once, when the head of R&D unwittingly gave the attendees a "roving reporter" moment - of her walking from home office to her lavatory, leaving her Teams call unmuted as she spent a penny...

How many Frank Drebin memes did she find in the "show chat" column when she came back?

 

[Sun Chariot]

How many Frank Drebin memes did she find in the "show chat" column when she came back?

She had camera feed turned off her work phone, thank goodness. Those with their cameras on, looked more awkward than mirthful.

 

[boyaloud]

When there's a double set of doors and people all slowly squeeze, usually in single file, through one door and no-one attempts to open the other door so that twice as many people can exit or enter. I always push or pull and say loudly "TWO DOORS!"

 

[AM9]

When there's a double set of doors and people all slowly squeeze, usually in single file, through one door and no-one attempts to open the other door so that twice as many people can exit or enter. I always push or pull and say loudly "TWO DOORS!"

That's assuming the other door isn't bolted, in which case you look a but daft when you try to open it.

On a more serious not though, the thing that I find most irritating is the ignoramus's that when I hold a door open for them just walk through with not even eyue contact as if it was my duty. Sometimes, depending on the situation I will say "Oh I'm sorry, - did you say something to me" to which if they answer 'no', I reply "OK, I thought that you may have said Thank You"

 

[ABB125]

That's assuming the other door isn't bolted, in which case you look a but daft when you try to open it.

That's why you should always be subtle in trying to open the other door: if it's bolted, no-one will notice that you tried to open it, if it is open then you get to grandly open it, to the delight of all around!
(That may be an exaggeration...)

 

[py_megapixel]

You could even unbolt the door, if the circumstances allow...

 

[dangie]

From the BBC:
Researchers at the world's biggest particle accelerator in Switzerland have submitted proposals for a new, much larger, supercollider.
Its aim is to discover new particles that would revolutionise physics and lead to a more complete understanding of how the Universe works. If approved, it will be three times larger than the current giant machine. But its £17bn price tag has raised some eyebrows, with one critic describing the expenditure as "reckless".

Now obviously I have no knowledge on what this is, what it does, or how it does it. But from what I can gather, the original Hadron Collider hasn’t done what it was designed to do, so let’s build a bigger one.

Prof Fabiola Gianotti, told BBC News that, if approved, it will be a "beautiful machine".
She added “We are missing something big,''

Personally I think they are missing something a bit more basic. Something between the ears…..

Huge atom-smasher bid to find missing 95% of Universe

Researchers want a new, much bigger supercollider but is it worth us paying the £12bn price tag?

www.bbc.co.uk