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Auto Anouncments - Errors/funny sayings

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class 313

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People can't type in what they want it to say, and it IS a 'set recorded announcement'

Wronggggggggggg

At St Albans city we have a whole list of recorded messages. So, when a Brighton train is late in theory you can set it to say.

"The 0931 First Capital Connect service to Brighton is late by approximately 1 minuet due to high winds in Glasgow. The train now arriving at platform 4 is the delayed 0912 First Capital Connect Service to Luton calling at Harpenden Flitwick Bedford Wellingborough York and Luton.
 
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Jordy

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Wronggggggggggg

At St Albans city we have a whole list of recorded messages. So, when a Brighton train is late in theory you can set it to say.

"The 0931 First Capital Connect service to Brighton is late by approximately 1 minuet due to high winds in Glasgow. The train now arriving at platform 4 is the delayed 0912 First Capital Connect Service to Luton calling at Harpenden Flitwick Bedford Wellingborough York and Luton.

You need to read the quote I was replying to again!
 

Max

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Wronggggggggggg

At St Albans city we have a whole list of recorded messages. So, when a Brighton train is late in theory you can set it to say.

"The 0931 First Capital Connect service to Brighton is late by approximately 1 minuet due to high winds in Glasgow. The train now arriving at platform 4 is the delayed 0912 First Capital Connect Service to Luton calling at Harpenden Flitwick Bedford Wellingborough York and Luton.

Was there any need for the 'wrongggggg', it sounds pretty rude, especially when what you are saying is a load of rubbish :roll:
 

Jordy

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Sandra is just a classic, you also get Nigel who is Bristol based RSM IIRC, which starts with "HELLO ladies & gentlemen, I am the bloke in the shop selling.....COME DOWN TO THE SHOP because YOU KNOW THE PRICE IS RIGHT thank uuuuuuuuu

Digging up an old quote but...the other day there was a man in the shop who announced in poems! Anyone ever heard him before?
 

plikma

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Digging up an old quote but...the other day there was a man in the shop who announced in poems! Anyone ever heard him before?

VXC?

Because the XC trains have guards/train managers/whatever they're called, there aren't those annoying automated announcements and the announcers seem to use a lot of liberty in it.
 

Gizmogle

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Digging up an old quote but...the other day there was a man in the shop who announced in poems! Anyone ever heard him before?

YES!! His name's Paul. I had him on the 1348 from Birmingham to Stockport.
Got a few rough recordings of his poems.

"...you can shop 'till you drop. My name's Paul, and I'm the man in the shop."
"...if you ever need a meal to stimulate your brain, then I'm in coach D, towards the front of the train."

:D
 

Jordy

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YES!! His name's Paul. I had him on the 1348 from Birmingham to Stockport.
Got a few rough recordings of his poems.

"...you can shop 'till you drop. My name's Paul, and I'm the man in the shop."
"...if you ever need a meal to stimulate your brain, then I'm in coach D, towards the front of the train."

:D

:lol: yes thats him
 

me123

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Some Scotrail ones are/were quite funny.

On a class 320: "The next stop is...<Change accent to heavy Glasgow>BLANTYRE!" (ie Blairhill).

Class 334 sitting at Airdrie station: "This train is for... Airdrie. THis train will call at Gourock, Largs, Larkhall, Paisley Gilour Street <heavyglasgowaccent>MILNGAVIE! (pronounced Milingaivy)</heavyglasgowaccent> and ... <heavyglasgowaccent> BLERHULL (Blairhill) </heavyglasgowaccent> where this train wilil terminate.

"I am sorry to anounce that the train now standing at platform... three (in a two platform station> will arrive approximately... ten... minutes late. This train is expected to depart on time, five minutes late."

"THIS IS THE GLESGA TRAIN, THIS TRAIN IS FIR GLESGA, THIS TRAIN WILL TERMINATE AT GLESGA!"

"I am sorry to announce that the 0808 service to Helensburgh Central has been delayed by approximately... 27 minutes (approximately?!?!?). Please listen for further announcements. <wait a minute> The train now approaching platform 1 is the ... delayed ... 0808 service to Helensbugh Central. This train has been cancelled. <train arrives> The train now standing at Platform 1 is the...cancelled... 0808 service to Helensburgh Central. This train is running approxiamtely 27 minutes late."
 

1D53

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185 hilarity again tonight although more the staff.

York - Manchester service came into Leeds with the rear 3 coming off to work Leeds - Hull, except somebody changed the PIS in the rear set before uncoupling.

"This train is for Manchester Piccadilly, the next stop will be Huddersfield. First TransPennine Express welcomes all customers joining this Hull service. Which will be calling at South Milford, Selby, Brough and Hull" (Screen scrolls "Next Stop Huddersfield.....(then)...Next Stop South Milford".

Then they are uncoupled and it goes on about CCTV before the guard comes on shouting down the PIS to make sure everyone is on the right train!
 

Tom C

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At St Albans city we have a whole list of recorded messages. So, when a Brighton train is late in theory you can set it to say.

"The 0931 First Capital Connect service to Brighton is late by approximately 1 minuet due to high winds in Glasgow. The train now arriving at platform 4 is the delayed 0912 First Capital Connect Service to Luton calling at Harpenden Flitwick Bedford Wellingborough York and Luton.

If you put one minute late into Ditra it will ignore it, from the ones I have used I think the minimum is 3. Thameslink Ditra systems are quite basic, especially the older ones so the list of stations that are recorded are quite small and are only local to the station so York and Wellingborough wouldn't be on there unless they are there just incase MML want to stop there. The one at Blackfriars and City are very basic in any case.

The Southern & South West Trains ponsy versions may have all the bells and whistles but Thameslink ones don't.
 

Jim

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Digging up an old quote but...the other day there was a man in the shop who announced in poems! Anyone ever heard him before?

Nope, I would suggest it being the same person, but I belive the 1 I am thinking of is Nigel
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
YES!! His name's Paul. I had him on the 1348 from Birmingham to Stockport.
Got a few rough recordings of his poems.

"...you can shop 'till you drop. My name's Paul, and I'm the man in the shop."
"...if you ever need a meal to stimulate your brain, then I'm in coach D, towards the front of the train."

:D

Sounds just like him though. It is what you need though isn't it, friendly staff, who like to maake a joke or 2, certainally made me laugh when I first heard the Bristol guy I was on about
 

dan_atki

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If you put one minute late into Ditra it will ignore it, from the ones I have used I think the minimum is 3. Thameslink Ditra systems are quite basic, especially the older ones so the list of stations that are recorded are quite small and are only local to the station so York and Wellingborough wouldn't be on there unless they are there just incase MML want to stop there. The one at Blackfriars and City are very basic in any case.

The Southern & South West Trains ponsy versions may have all the bells and whistles but Thameslink ones don't.

I have a recording of Phil at Victoria saying a service to Bognor is delayed by 02 (yes he said oh two) minutes. Although I think the system at the Victoria (and Charing Cross for that matter) is quite strange with the wording of 'special' announcements.

Also I noticed a few years ago that Phil's pronunciation of 'Southern service to' is different depending where you are - at Victoria and Charing Cross it is 'Southern (pause) service to', and there was a difference at Clapham Junction platforms 13 - 17 (oddly not 12 though) where he said 'Southern service (pause) to' - but this has now been changed to the standard (the one used everywhere except Victoria and Charing Cross) 'Southern service to' with no pauses.

Also when the Ditra system was installed at Luton, for the first couple of weeks every announcement started with the chimes - that was stopped for some reason and the haven't come back.

Whilst I agree that the one at City Thameslink is extremely basic (and it seems to be a very old version of the software as there are pauses between each part of the announcement), I wouldn't say the one at Blackfriars is as it was the only Ditra system owned by Thameslink that had both Phil's and Celia's voices. Although there does seem to be a major problem with the system on platform 5 there (announcements seem to echo in the actual tannoy system).

I find it interesting that certain companies have more 'advanced' versions of the system compared to others - I would have thought Ditra would bung the software on a disc (or several discs) with all the announcement recordings and just have one type to sell - including a web update for new files. But I must say that you do hear 'train approaching' announcements on Southern and SWT but not on the Thameslink part of FCC (you do on the GN part).
I find the Ditra system interesting because of how versatile it can be when needed (it seems to be by listening to it), but is it actually easy to operate as some of the stuff it can do does seem complicated?
 

dan_atki

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He can't say Southern can he?

It always sounds like "Suthen (deep voice) service to".

I've uploaded recordings of each of his variations of 'Southern service to' so that you can see.

I would have to say that I've noticed (this may seem very weird) Phil's pronunciation of 'Southern' is different from what 'angle' you are to the speaker. For example if you are directly in line with the 'megaphones' at Victoria a little distance back (say level with the cash machines) it can sound like 'Suvvern' but standing directly underneath the speakers above the departure board results in 'Suthern' as you say.

The only real mispronunciation I've heard Phil say is pronouncing the silent 'd' in the down inflected 'Guildford' (by down inflected I mean where Guildford is at the end of the sentence rather than the middle). I believe that this is not the case in the up inflected version in the middle of a sentence and he does indeed say 'Guilford' (without the 'd') in 'London Road, Guildford'.
I have uploaded this mispronunciation as well.
 

compsci

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The new CIS in a One 317 that I was travelling in last night got really confused, and started announcing things backwards. Having departed from Liverpool St, it announced "We are now approaching London Liverpool St ..." at Bethnal Green, causing many passengers to fall about laughing. On approach to Tottenham Hale it said "This train is for London Liverpool St ...". It then said "We are now approaching Tottenham Hale ..." around Northumberland Park. I think that the driver switched it off at this point.
 

dan_atki

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That is quite a common occurance when the driver forgets to reset the CIS - in your case the train thought it was still going to Liverpool St because that's what it did on its previous journey.

I remember being on a Northern Line train a couple of years ago - left Embankment northbound and said 'the next station is Embankment' - it creates a big problem here because of people who are not familiar with the system - especially in this case when one set of doors don't open at Charing Cross anyway - this information is always normally announced. Got to Charing Cross - 'This station is Charing Cross change here for Bakerloo Line and Mainline rail services. This train terminates at Kennington'. Here I realised the driver must have gone all around the Kennington Loop without resetting the system and even by the time I got to Kentish Town it was still incorrect!
 

Mojo

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Is that the one who talks about the charismatic town of Chesterfield? ;)

There's one (probably the same) who has Charismatic Cheltenham Spa & Brilliant Birmingham New St.
 

Tom C

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Also when the Ditra system was installed at Luton, for the first couple of weeks every announcement started with the chimes - that was stopped for some reason and the haven't come back.

It can be turned off

All the Thameslink Ditra machines have the option to turn the chime on or off at the start of every announcement.

Whilst I agree that the one at City Thameslink is extremely basic (and it seems to be a very old version of the software as there are pauses between each part of the announcement), I wouldn't say the one at Blackfriars is as it was the only Ditra system owned by Thameslink that had both Phil's and Celia's voices. Although there does seem to be a major problem with the system on platform 5 there (announcements seem to echo in the actual tannoy system).

The only reason Blackfriars has Celia is because the old tape boxes which we used happily for many years without a single fault had a female voice for P1-4 and a male voice for P5 and apparently it had to stay the same incase it confused the punters :s Blackfriars is a fairly new installation but half the announcements are not in the system despite being an option and its very unreliable. Platform 5 is a pain in the rear end, it gets annoying very quickly and apparently Thalys/Ditra can so nothing about it.

BRING BACK THE TAPES!
 

dan_atki

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Platform 5 is a pain in the rear end, it gets annoying very quickly and apparently Thalys/Ditra can so nothing about it.

Can I ask what the problem is with platform 5 and why nothing can be done?
 

dan_atki

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Yeah Phil seems to be a bit confused there so much so he even pauses before saying where the first class accommodation is ;)

Picking up on something else in there - excellent English in the announcement:

'Please note that this train is today in reverse formation' - I think that should be 'Please note that this train is in reverse formation today' or 'Please note that today this train is in reverse formation' (or instead of 'this train is in reverse formation' the other version 'the formation of this train is reversed' - which is more standard English).

[/pedant]
 

dan_atki

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Another strange one from Brighton this afternoon (21/07 at about 1530 and 1600) courtesy of Phil:

"May I have your attention please.
I am sorry to advise you that London Underground have informed me that services on the (pause) Circle (pause) Line have been suspended.
Customers changing at London Blackfriars, King's Cross Thameslink, and London Victoria are advised that there is no service on the (pause) Circle (pause) Line. (big pause)
Please note that First Capital Connect and Southern services are not affected."

Here are the strange things:
- The use of 'me' like he is a manual announcer
- Farringdon is missing from the list of stations with Circle Line connections (despite being nearer to Brighton than King's Cross Thameslink).

Does anyone know how long Phil has been able to announce LU line suspensions?
 

tedted

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Yeah Phil seems to be a bit confused there so much so he even pauses before saying where the first class accommodation is ;)

Picking up on something else in there - excellent English in the announcement:

'Please note that this train is today in reverse formation' - I think that should be 'Please note that this train is in reverse formation today' or 'Please note that today this train is in reverse formation' (or instead of 'this train is in reverse formation' the other version 'the formation of this train is reversed' - which is more standard English).

[/pedant]

Standard English? What about Railway English? Surely this would be more appropriate for railway announcements? "This train is in reverse formation" as far as I've witnessed seems to be universal.
 

dan_atki

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Standard English? What about Railway English? Surely this would be more appropriate for railway announcements? "This train is in reverse formation" as far as I've witnessed seems to be universal.

It wasn't 'this train is in reverse formation' that I was actually getting at but more having the 'is today' breaking the phrase up i.e. 'this train is today in reverse formation' is not actually grammatically correct as it is one adverbial (of time) breaking up another (of state).
 

thefab444

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South West Trains are perhaps the only TOC down here who don't insist on having stupid "*name of station!* This is *name of station*!" prior to most announcements on their stations.

Also, it seems Phil is able to get himself in a mess sometimes, I remember sometimes at Basingstoke when the FGW Shuttle is approaching from Reading the system is not programmed to show a terminating service. So instead of "The next train at Platform 5 terminates here, this is the service from Reading. This train will terminate here." then "Platform 5 for the 07:37 First Great Western service to Reading.", you would just get "Platform 5 for the 07:37 First Great Western service to Reading. This train is the service from Basingstoke". This appears to have been fixed now, though like a lot of the extra announcements down here, it seems to be optional. Only on some services will Phil announce the train length and where it's the service from - usually when its fairly obvious where the train is from.

Another little Phil anomaly whilst we are here, I'm pretty sure he can say "Platform 2 for the 10:50 South West Trains service to Plymouth and Bristol Temple Meads." fine, but if its a "This is the service from" you get "Platform 3 for the 08:59 South West Trains service to London Waterloo. This train is the service from Plymouth, Exeter St David's and Bristol Temple Mead."

Wierd eh?

JS
 

nath9425

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