Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[ArchangelA]

Policial correctness and pigeon-holing of people. Do away with surveys/job applicatons etc that ask you your gender, oritentation, age range, religion, ethnicity, disability etc etc, ...it's nobodies business and is neither here nor there. There should only be ONE box to tick...asking are you a human-being? End of rant.

 

[Ianno87]

Policial correctness and pigeon-holing of people. Do away with surveys/job applicatons etc that ask you your gender, oritentation, age range, religion, ethnicity, disability etc etc, ...it's nobodies business and is neither here nor there. There should only be ONE box to tick...asking are you a human-being? End of rant.

How do you know you are being representative of all human beings, then?

I refer to the Female Volunteers in Heritage Sector thread of what happens if you don't try and be diverse.

 

[ArchangelA]

How do you know you are being representative of all human beings, then?

I refer to the Female Volunteers in Heritage Sector thread of what happens if you don't try and be diverse.

Well the whole point of this post (check from page 1 where I was offered the chance of being the selfish dictator in my own world). It should be equal rights for all shouldn't it without having the need to measure everything.

 

[xotGD]

Staying on the automotive theme, ludicrously over-styled alloy wheels that are impossible to clean. My 2012 Focus had (as standard on that particular trim level) 20-spoke wheels, which took as long to clean properly as did the rest of the car. Other manufacturers have come up with even worse since.

On its replacement, I specified a 5-spoke option, which is rather better, though it still suffers from the next problem.

Visible but inaccessible surfaces of wheels should be painted charcoal grey, not silver, as you can never reach them properly to clean off the brake dust.

Let's just ban the washing of cars. One big waste of water, time and effort.

On the flip side I would ban anyone who thinks it is amusing to scrawl 'wash me' in the dirt on the back of a white van.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

On the flip side I would ban anyone who thinks it is amusing to scrawl 'wash me' in the dirt on the back of a white van.

Agreed...

"I wish my wife was this dirty!" is a much funnier one!

 

[DelW]

Let's just ban the washing of cars. One big waste of water, time and effort.

The Focus that I mentioned came with a "starter pack" of special cleaning products that went with a protective treatment that the dealer had applied. When I sold the car at eight years old, I hadn't actually finished off any of its contents.

For car washing, I roughly follow Queen Elizabeth the First's* dictum of washing being done once a year whether it's needed or not.

(*not sure if I'm remembering the right person or quotation here).

 

[Gloster]

For car washing, I roughly follow Queen Elizabeth the First's* dictum of washing being done once a year whether it's needed or not.

(*not sure if I'm remembering the right person or quotation here).

According to the Venetian ambassador, although the source is dubious, she said she bathed once a month. However, in those days the water that most people had access to was full of germs, and was expected to make you ill once your pores had opened in the warm water and let the germs in. For Queen Elizabeth it was a sign of affluence that she could obtain clean water to bathe in once a month. It was actually immersing themselves in water that was the worry and the rich did wipe themselves down with clean towels fairly frequently.

 

[Dr Day]

Pedestrian lights on simple highway crossings (ie not junctions) that don't respond within, say, 10 seconds of being pushed.

I'm fairly sure it is intentional to maintain the flow of traffic, but they seem to take longer to respond the more traffic there is. And when it is relatively quiet you can sometimes chance it and get to the other side before they change. unnecessarily slowing down traffic.

 

[PeterY]

Pedestrian lights on simple highway crossings (ie not junctions) that don't respond within, say, 10 seconds of being pushed.

I'm fairly sure it is intentional to maintain the flow of traffic, but they seem to take longer to respond the more traffic there is. And when it is relatively quiet you can sometimes chance it and get to the other side before they change. unnecessarily slowing down traffic.

I can quite well see why people cross, well before the pedestrian lights actually change and I'm one of those people, that'll cross before the lights change, if it's safe to do so. I've waited up to 1 minute for the lights change. I could be doing something useful in that minute.

 

[Ted633]

Pedestrian lights on simple highway crossings (ie not junctions) that don't respond within, say, 10 seconds of being pushed.

I'm fairly sure it is intentional to maintain the flow of traffic, but they seem to take longer to respond the more traffic there is. And when it is relatively quiet you can sometimes chance it and get to the other side before they change. unnecessarily slowing down traffic.

People who walk up to a pedestrian crossing, press the button and only then look to see there is little traffic and cross immediately. The lights then change with no one waiting to cross as they've already gone!

 

[HST274]

People who walk up to a pedestrian crossing, press the button and only then look to see there is little traffic and cross immediately. The lights then change with no one waiting to cross as they've already gone!

guilty

 

[Gloster]

Car drivers who like to be considerate to pedestrians who are trying to cross the road away from a pedestrian crossing. These drivers are usually in the last car in a line or the only one about: mustn’t inconvenience the driver of a car behind them. By the time they have slowed down enough for the pedestrian to be sure they are actually slowing to let him or her cross and not just easing off on the accelerator while they look at their satnav, and aren’t going to ram the accelerator down before they have properly looked ahead again, the car could have been well clear and the pedestrian half-way across the road.

 

[dgl]

People who walk up to a pedestrian crossing, press the button and only then look to see there is little traffic and cross immediately. The lights then change with no one waiting to cross as they've already gone!

Some modern ones can detect the presence of people waiting to cross and will cancel the request to cross if there is no one there, it's also used to tell when everyone has crossed so you don't get the lights changing for vehicles before everyone has crossed.

 

[BanburyBlue]

Car drivers who like to be considerate to pedestrians who are trying to cross the road away from a pedestrian crossing. These drivers are usually in the last car in a line or the only one about: mustn’t inconvenience the driver of a car behind them. By the time they have slowed down enough for the pedestrian to be sure they are actually slowing to let him or her cross and not just easing off on the accelerator while they look at their satnav, and aren’t going to ram the accelerator down before they have properly looked ahead again, the car could have been well clear and the pedestrian half-way across the road.

Car drivers who like to be considerate, and stop at pedestrian crossings while the lights are green.

 

[ArchangelA]

Whilst we're on the subject of driving I would;-
1. Ban roadworks where someone digs a hole then buggers off for days or weeks on end leaving no one working on the problem causing local chaos, and
2. Temporary traffic lights put down for the slightest obstruction on a footpath or kerbside which cause chaos, and
3. Ban bus stops placed anywhere near road junctions so that nothing moves until the bus driver has finished his stop

 

[61653 HTAFC]

People who park their land-yachts in bus stops.
If I see someone pull in, I wonder how they'd react if I climbed into their passenger seat and waved my MCard over their SatNav?

 

[birchesgreen]

People replying to political posts on social media with tired old graphics and memes they've got elsewhere.

 

[yorksrob]

Whilst we're on the subject of driving I would;-
1. Ban roadworks where someone digs a hole then buggers off for days or weeks on end leaving no one working on the problem causing local chaos, and
2. Temporary traffic lights put down for the slightest obstruction on a footpath or kerbside which cause chaos, and
3. Ban bus stops placed anywhere near road junctions so that nothing moves until the bus driver has finished his stop

If ban roadworks where the engineers don't provide a walkway for pedestrians, forcing them to cross the road twice.

This seems to be a lot more prevalent in recent years.

 

[Cowley]

Fourteen - The amount of multi-paned windows I painted yesterday.

Fourteen minutes past 8 this morning - When my customer informed me that he actually preferred the slightly different green of the undercoat and could I get it paint matched and do them all again please!

I would thus ban customers from looking at paint charts.

 

[ABB125]

Fourteen - The amount of multi-paned windows I painted yesterday.

Fourteen minutes past 8 this morning - When my customer informed me that he actually preferred the slightly different green of the undercoat and could I get it paint matched and do them all again please!

I would thus ban customers from looking at paint charts.

Well I suppose as long as you get paid it's not the end of the world...

 

[GusB]

Fourteen - The amount of multi-paned windows I painted yesterday.

Fourteen minutes past 8 this morning - When my customer informed me that he actually preferred the slightly different green of the undercoat and could I get it paint matched and do them all again please!

I would thus ban customers from looking at paint charts.

I think you should be trying to ban "fourteen" instead. That seems to be the root of your problem.

On a separate note, I'd ban anyone that says "installate" instead of "install" - I was listening to a phone-in on the radio this morning and some chap was referring to having energy-saving measures installated in his home. Argh!

I'm tempted to ban radio phone-ins as well.

 

[Cowley]

I think you should be trying to ban "fourteen" instead. That seems to be the root of your problem.

You would have seen a grown man cry this morning.
It’s the fact that it’s delayed me going on to the next job that really annoyed me.

On a separate note, I'd ban anyone that says "installate" instead of "install" - I was listening to a phone-in on the radio this morning and some chap was referring to having energy-saving measures installated in his home. Argh!

I'm tempted to ban radio phone-ins as well.

Absolutely agree with both of them.

 

[py_megapixel]

The function in Microsoft Office 365 to "like" an email. Pointless and confusing.

 

[duncanp]

On a separate note, I'd ban anyone that says "installate" instead of "install" - I was listening to a phone-in on the radio this morning and some chap was referring to having energy-saving measures installated in his home. Argh!

Something that should also be banned is people who say "doning blood" instead of "donating blood".

 

[yorksrob]

And people saying "installation" instead of insulation.

 

[Gloster]

People starting a story or explanation with So, followed by a full stop (or pause when speaking). I think it is an affectation of youth, but then in my days we were prone to say, “Yeah, but.”

 

[nlogax]

People who've decided it's cool to stop saying 'sandals' and start saying 'sliders'. Sliders are small burgers. No-one should be wearing small burgers on their feet.

Actually, ban sandals. Hideous footwear. The sooner we ban sandals the sooner we can totally eradicate sandals with socks, something which in my not so humble opinion is close to a war crime.

 

[ArchangelA]

People who've decided it's cool to stop saying 'sandals' and start saying 'sliders'. Sliders are small burgers. No-one should be wearing small burgers on their feet.

Actually, ban sandals. Hideous footwear. The sooner we ban sandals the sooner we can totally eradicate sandals with socks, something which in my not so humble opinion is close to a war crime.

ooOOOohhh I totally agree cringe cringe

 

[MattRat]

One I just came up with very recently: I'd ban running a high speed train (by European standards) on a line that's as straight as a beeping roundabout

 

[bspahh]

On a discussion board, people who write "this is my last post on this subject" and then fail to flounce