Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[61653 HTAFC]

Similar sentiments have been expressed earlier in this thread, about this ubiquitous annoyance. I heartily concur with all such feelings, and would be thoroughly behind banning this "gate"-suffixing habit on the part of media bods -- on pain of harsh punishment. I fail to see why this particular section of the chattering classes has been so obsessed with especially this bit of nonsense, for almost fifty years now -- I agree that it was never notably funny or clever, even at its beginning. Words and their use just seem, often, to have a life of their own -- nothing to do with making sense, or worthwhileness.

Perhaps if there's a scandal involving a politician fraudulently claiming expenses for a bit of movable fencing at the perimeter of their property, journalists will finally decide that the "-gate" suffix has had its day...

 

[Calthrop]

I've always regretted -- realms of something a bit amusing, to come out of this particular stupidity -- that the Torrington to Halwill branch line didn't keep its passenger service (in fact withdrawn in 1965) for another decade or most-of. Had that been so -- come 1973: the line's having a halt named Watergate, might have given a few chuckles to its staff / its few genuine passengers / visiting railway enthusiasts.

 

[Purple Train]

Can we ban "shrinkflation", where the size of the packet/bar of chocolate ..etc is reduced, but the price stays the same.

I have recently noticed this happening to toothpaste.

I bought a tube of toothpaste today, and when I took the tube of toothpaste out of the box that it comes in, it was about half an inch shorther. This is only a recent phenomenon - previously a tube of toothpaste would be the same length as the box.

Morrisons and Colgate, I'm looking at YOU. You thought we wouldn't notice, didn't you?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Can we ban "shrinkflation", where the size of the packet/bar of chocolate ..etc is reduced, but the price stays the same.

And not just toothpaste!

No, sirree!

Previously discussed here...

Shrinkflation - examples?

"Shrinkflation" is the business practice where pack sizes of items (often food items) shrink in size or quantity, yet the selling price remains the same, or even increases! An example: Packs of McVities (Jaffa Cakes) Cake Bars came, until recently, in packs of eight and were being sold for £1...

www.railforums.co.uk

 

[Purple Train]

PEOPLE WHO USE BOLD, ITALIC, UNDERLINE, AN INDECENT AMOUNT OF EXCLAMATION MARKS, OR CAPITALS TO MAKE THEIR POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(No, seriously. It does annoy me. But not quite as much as incorrect punctuation.)

 

[Gloster]

I think that I have mentioned before that a few years ago there was a scandal involving Danish State Railway and a company called Watergate. I referred to it as Watergategate.

 

[Bletchleyite]

I think that I have mentioned before that a few years ago there was a scandal involving Danish State Railway and a company called Watergate. I referred to it as Watergategate.

The original related (quick Google) to a building actually called Watergate. We then seem to have ended up with "-gate" meaning scandal.

 

[Gloster]

The original related (quick Google) to a building actually called Watergate. We then seem to have ended up with "-gate" meaning scandal.

Yes, it was a break in by Republican apparatchiks in the Watergate Building (?, or maybe hotel) that started the whole cascade that led to Tricky Dicky’s resignation. I think their purpose was to install bugs in a room used by senior Democrats. I don’t remember the details, but I do remember the sanctimonious resignation speech.

Watergategate was one of those gift sub-heads that you only get a few times in a career. Could I resist it? No.

 

[birchesgreen]

Its an office complex. Located in Foggy Bottom (really!), Washington DC

Watergate complex - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[daveo]

Fancy that.

Surely the Royal Mail haven't done that deliberately to deter people from using the post.

Then they can scrap the post box in six months time and withdraw Saturday deliveries, citing "lack of demand due to COVID/the weather/cost of living crisis...etc etc"

The amount they charge for a stamp these days, they should be collecting the post from your house

For less than £1 extra they will!

 

[Busaholic]

PEOPLE WHO USE BOLD, ITALIC, UNDERLINE, AN INDECENT AMOUNT OF EXCLAMATION MARKS, OR CAPITALS TO MAKE THEIR POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(No, seriously. It does annoy me. But not quite as much as incorrect punctuation.)

Italics serve a purpose if used correctly, though, and there has to be a reason why bold is an option. I note that some of the most venerable and venerated on the forum fall foul of your strictures too (exclamation mark deliberately unused.)

 

[Purple Train]

Italics serve a purpose if used correctly, though, and there has to be a reason why bold is an option. I note that some of the most venerable and venerated on the forum fall foul of your strictures too (exclamation mark deliberately unused.)

Well yes, I must admit that they do. But that doesn't mean I don't like their contributions. If I disliked or ignored everything that displeased me in some small way, I would ignore pretty much everything, and be very much the poorer for it.

 

[Busaholic]

Well yes, I must admit that they do. But that doesn't mean I don't like their contributions. If I disliked or ignored everything that displeased me in some small way, I would ignore pretty much everything, and be very much the poorer for it.

Good reply.

 

[ABB125]

Well yes, I must admit that they do. But that doesn't mean I don't like their contributions. If I disliked or ignored everything that displeased me in some small way, I would ignore pretty much everything, and be very much the poorer for it!!!!!!!!!

There we go, much better!

 

[Purple Train]

The people (by and large men) who shout and scream biased and belittling nonsense at the match officials during a football match. I was at a game in the Extra Preliminary Round of the FA Cup this afternoon, and it did put a slight dampener on the general pleasantness of the occasion to hear such a group constantly screaming and swearing at the officials, who did (in my opinion) an excellent job in overseeing the match with caution and a good light touch as well.
(Fortunately I was distracted from their shoutings during much of the second half because I was looking with interest at a packet of Haribo sweets that were melting in the heat... I really am far too easily amused!)

 

[yorksrob]

The people (by and large men) who shout and scream biased and belittling nonsense at the match officials during a football match. I was at a game in the Extra Preliminary Round of the FA Cup this afternoon, and it did put a slight dampener on the general pleasantness of the occasion to hear such a group constantly screaming and swearing at the officials, who did (in my opinion) an excellent job in overseeing the match with caution and a good light touch as well.
(Fortunately I was distracted from their shoutings during much of the second half because I was looking with interest at a packet of Haribo sweets that were melting in the heat... I really am far too easily amused!)

I agree. I've seen some poor refs, but such abuse seems uncalled for.

 

[trebor79]

The people (by and large men) who shout and scream biased and belittling nonsense at the match officials during a football match. I was at a game in the Extra Preliminary Round of the FA Cup this afternoon, and it did put a slight dampener on the general pleasantness of the occasion to hear such a group constantly screaming and swearing at the officials, who did (in my opinion) an excellent job in overseeing the match with caution and a good light touch as well.
(Fortunately I was distracted from their shoutings during much of the second half because I was looking with interest at a packet of Haribo sweets that were melting in the heat... I really am far too easily amused!)

I agree. I've seen some poor refs, but such abuse seems uncalled for.

I've been to one football match in my life. Dragged along by a colleague who said I had to "experience ballet for the working class". Never again. I was the only one sat down in the stadium as I had zero interest and was surrounded by little boys in mens bodies shouting things like "break his effing legs".
Never understood why people take 22 thick millionaires kicking a ball around a field so seriously.
I'd ban it!

 

[yorksrob]

I've been to one football match in my life. Dragged along by a colleague who said I had to "experience ballet for the working class". Never again. I was the only one sat down in the stadium as I had zero interest and was surrounded by little boys in mens bodies shouting things like "break his effing legs".
Never understood why people take 22 thick millionaires kicking a ball around a field so seriously.
I'd ban it!

A good football match is a wonderful experience. Yes, criticise the ref but keep it decent.

I find the lower leagues a lot more relaxed and enjoyable.

 

[Purple Train]

I've been to one football match in my life. Dragged along by a colleague who said I had to "experience ballet for the working class". Never again. I was the only one sat down in the stadium as I had zero interest and was surrounded by little boys in mens bodies shouting things like "break his effing legs".
Never understood why people take 22 thick millionaires kicking a ball around a field so seriously.
I'd ban it!

That's why I hate watching the "thick millionaires". One has only to look at what happened at the men's European Championships final last year to see the extent of the trouble with the "little boys in men's bodies" you describe.
And now it's permeating the lower tiers of football as well, which at least have the advantage of not being populated by the prima donna millionaires...

A good football match is a wonderful experience. Yes, criticise the ref but keep it decent.

I find the lower leagues a lot more relaxed and enjoyable.

Yes, I agree - though I don't particularly find them very relaxed, it's still far more relaxed than the top levels...

 

[ABB125]

Cheese packets which are "side-open" rather tan "top-open". Yes Cathedral City, I'm looking at you!
My normal method of cutting cheese is to keep it in the packet* and then slice. This is difficult enough with a top-open pack, but impossible in a side-open pack. I've had to resort to cutting diagonally: the horror!
I think side-open probably saves a fraction of a penny per packet, because there's less re-seal mechanism needed per pack.

*Saves getting out a chopping board

 

[xotGD]

Cheese packets which are "side-open" rather tan "top-open". Yes Cathedral City, I'm looking at you!
My normal method of cutting cheese is to keep it in the packet* and then slice. This is difficult enough with a top-open pack, but impossible in a side-open pack. I've had to resort to cutting diagonally: the horror!
I think side-open probably saves a fraction of a penny per packet, because there's less re-seal mechanism needed per pack.

*Saves getting out a chopping board

I would ban so-called resealable packs. Do they seal? Maybe at the tenth attempt. And then you can't get them open again!

A clothes peg does the job just fine.

 

[Gloster]

Ridiculous product names such as ‘Cathedral City’. It may have a picture of Wells Cathedral on the front, but it is made on a remote moor in Cornwall and matured in Nuneaton. (Although the blocks matured in Nuneaton may not have reached the shops yet.)

 

[Calthrop]

I've been to one football match in my life. Dragged along by a colleague who said I had to "experience ballet for the working class". Never again. I was the only one sat down in the stadium as I had zero interest and was surrounded by little boys in mens bodies shouting things like "break his effing legs".
Never understood why people take 22 thick millionaires kicking a ball around a field so seriously.
I'd ban it!

Heavens ! -- someone who likes football even less than I do. I have been -- each time, effectively under coercion -- to several more football matches, than you have (admittedly it would seem that none of mine involved millionaires, thick or otherwise). Last time for me, was 52 years ago -- in Romania, of all places. I pray that that may indeed prove for me, to have been the very last time.

 

[Techniquest]

Ooh goody, people who don't like football, happy days! I have been to one or two in my time, I remember going to watch Swansea play at The Vetch (their old ground) which shows how long ago that was, went with some uni friends so it was more a social thing. Can't remember any others, so it either didn't happen again or I have locked away the memory. Seen too many matches on TV, although that was for vastly different reasons that would take forever to explain!

It's not my thing at all, and quite frankly I suspect most people only go to the matches or whatever to have an excuse to get drunk. Poor souls, nothing better to do with their existences other than to get drunk and act like idiots. While wearing their football team shirts with bellies bigger than the goal at either end of the field!

Which leads me onto what I'd ban if I had the power:

Alcohol consumption at sports events. Whether this is athletics, swimming, football, whatever it is, the consumption of alcohol would be banned. No sale of it on the grounds, and bags checked for alcohol on the way in.

 

[yorksrob]

Lazy men pissing all over the toilet seat and not cleaning up after themselves.

No excuse.

Ooh goody, people who don't like football, happy days! I have been to one or two in my time, I remember going to watch Swansea play at The Vetch (their old ground) which shows how long ago that was, went with some uni friends so it was more a social thing. Can't remember any others, so it either didn't happen again or I have locked away the memory. Seen too many matches on TV, although that was for vastly different reasons that would take forever to explain!

It's not my thing at all, and quite frankly I suspect most people only go to the matches or whatever to have an excuse to get drunk. Poor souls, nothing better to do with their existences other than to get drunk and act like idiots. While wearing their football team shirts with bellies bigger than the goal at either end of the field!

Which leads me onto what I'd ban if I had the power:

Alcohol consumption at sports events. Whether this is athletics, swimming, football, whatever it is, the consumption of alcohol would be banned. No sale of it on the grounds, and bags checked for alcohol on the way in.

I like having beers at sports events, so I would have to disagree.

 

[HST274]

I personally

Ooh goody, people who don't like football, happy days! I have been to one or two in my time, I remember going to watch Swansea play at The Vetch (their old ground) which shows how long ago that was, went with some uni friends so it was more a social thing. Can't remember any others, so it either didn't happen again or I have locked away the memory. Seen too many matches on TV, although that was for vastly different reasons that would take forever to explain!

It's not my thing at all, and quite frankly I suspect most people only go to the matches or whatever to have an excuse to get drunk. Poor souls, nothing better to do with their existences other than to get drunk and act like idiots. While wearing their football team shirts with bellies bigger than the goal at either end of the field!

Which leads me onto what I'd ban if I had the power:

Alcohol consumption at sports events. Whether this is athletics, swimming, football, whatever it is, the consumption of alcohol would be banned. No sale of it on the grounds, and bags checked for alcohol on the way in.

I'd have to dispute that. I get not liking it, but for me and I think most people, it is a true devotion to a football team rather than some excuse to get hammered and swear at some millionairs (not for all I know but...) People don't really need an excuse to get drunk- pubs are everywhere. As for the ref stuff, I get a bit of banter- shouting penalty or that was onside, maybe even as a joke, but swearing does really cross the line in lower leagues anyway.
I would agree that alcohol should be strictly prohibited, or people at least priced out of it in sport places.

EDIT: I would say people are more likely to go to lower league matches to get drunk. The tickets are cheap and its a chance to drink, shout a bit and maybe cheer someone on. In the premier league, despite some bad rep, people aren't spening hundreds on season tickets to just get drunk once a week..

 

[Gloster]

But if it is banned, it should be completely banned. It should not be like a cricket club where, after a few barneys, it was decided that all alcohol would be completely banned in the general area. However, it was not banned in the club members’ enclosure, where members used to get completely honked on the contents of their massive pocket flasks or stagger backwards and forwards to the bar spilling the contents of their glasses all over the place. (Glasses were allowed in the seating area, but not bottles.)

 

[gg1]

People who when they change their mind about buying a refrigerated or frozen item at a supermarket just dump it on a random unrefrigerated shelf.

 

[ScotRail158725]

People who when they change their mind about buying a refrigerated or frozen item at a supermarket just dump it on a random unrefrigerated shelf.

As someone who works in a shop this does my head in. Apparently the customers see it as bad customer service when i tell them to put it back where they got it from…

 

[Mcr Warrior]

As someone who works in a shop this does my head in. Apparently the customers see it as bad customer service when i tell them to put it back where they got it from…

Quite! And are they actually "customers" as such, if they haven't bought and paid for the (likely to spoil) items?