Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[alex397]

People who say there is no good music anymore. No you are wrong, there is probably more good music around now than at any time in history, you are just too lazy to seek it out.

I agree! There is some truly awful modern music, the sort of drivel that gets played once an hour on Heart FM. But there is some incredible stuff out there being released now, by mainstream artists (usually from the rock, indie or electronic genres for me) or from very niche artists which is more accessible now with YouTube and Spotify.
People who say music ‘isn’t as good as in the old days’ seem to forget about the truly awful stuff. The 70s, 80s and 90s are great decades for music, but watch old episodes of Top of The Pops and you realise there was also plenty of absolute rubbish about.

 

[Gloster]

There's a farm shop a few miles from where I live that advertises its cuts of beef with a depiction of a well-fed cow chewing on a big mouthful of grass and looking extremely happy about it. This seems somewhat at odds with the fact that what you actually buy has just been electrocuted.

Sounds like the Ameglian Major Cow in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

 

[bspahh]

I agree! There is some truly awful modern music, the sort of drivel that gets played once an hour on Heart FM. But there is some incredible stuff out there being released now, by mainstream artists (usually from the rock, indie or electronic genres for me) or from very niche artists which is more accessible now with YouTube and Spotify.
People who say music ‘isn’t as good as in the old days’ seem to forget about the truly awful stuff. The 70s, 80s and 90s are great decades for music, but watch old episodes of Top of The Pops and you realise there was also plenty of absolute rubbish about.

There is more truly awful new music available today than there ever has been. https://xponorth.co.uk/resources/ov...spotify-every-day-thats-nearly-one-per-second says:

at 60,000 tracks per day, Spotify is seeing a new track uploaded to its platform every 1.4 seconds.

The difference is that there is still a load of good new music, whatever your taste, as well as easy access to a vast archive of good and bad old music. Whether you can find good new music to your taste is another matter.

 

[TheEdge]

The use of "Karen" to dismiss opinionated women.

I've worked in Customer Services before, I've dealt with angry people, male and female. But when men remonstrate, they are "assertive" or "confident" or "the kind of man who knows what he likes and stands up for what he believes in"...

...yet when a woman does it she's a "Karen", she's "bossy" - it's just a modern twist on sexism - applying different standards when women do something. There are always bad examples on both sides but people pick up on it differently depending on whether it's a man or a woman who's looking for an argument/ discount/ refund - we praise men for behaviour that we ridicule women for (the same things happen racially too - people are quick to paint someone non-white as being "angry" or "emotional", even if they behave the same as a white person has/would)

That's not what a "Karen" is. It refers to the type of person who brings a 2 year old expired coupon to Tesco, berates the checkout person for not accepting, demanding to see the manager then berating them too, all while making a scene.

The basis of Karen behaviour is based on being unreasonable or having impossible or ridiculous expectations. Not being bossy or necessarily a woman.

 

[ChiefPlanner]

What should be an epic , mini "Train Bleu" bistro / buffet at Temple Meads which basically served nothing but hugely overpriced coffee and not much else - but proudly advertised "get your cans for the train" ..still cannot get over that.

Women applying make up on morning commuter trains (remember those ?) - always tempted to whip out a battery shaver and do the necessary.

 

[westv]

People having meals holding knives like a pen.

 

[GrimsbyPacer]

That's not what a "Karen" is. It refers to the type of person who brings a 2 year old expired coupon to Tesco, berates the checkout person for not accepting, demanding to see the manager then berating them too, all while making a scene.

The basis of Karen behaviour is based on being unreasonable or having impossible or ridiculous expectations. Not being bossy or necessarily a woman.

My Mum was called a Karen on Facebook for an ordinary comment, whatever the basis of the term was, it is lost in most cases, just a sexist insult now for any woman disagreeing.

 

[Bevan Price]

All American spellings and phrases should be banned in the UK with an 18 month prison sentence for those that don't comply.

But many "American" spellings are how they used to be spelt in England 2-3 centuries ago. It is the current English spellings that have changed over the centuries.

I agree! There is some truly awful modern music, the sort of drivel that gets played once an hour on Heart FM. But there is some incredible stuff out there being released now, by mainstream artists (usually from the rock, indie or electronic genres for me) or from very niche artists which is more accessible now with YouTube and Spotify.
People who say music ‘isn’t as good as in the old days’ seem to forget about the truly awful stuff. The 70s, 80s and 90s are great decades for music, but watch old episodes of Top of The Pops and you realise there was also plenty of absolute rubbish about.

Yes - there is plenty of good new music. The problem is that most of it never gets played on music radio stations. They only play what some "experts" have decided is "trendy or fashionable", and added to the dreaded "playlist".

 

[Busaholic]

People (usually, but not exclusively, male) who have all their worldly goods in a haversack on their back and take no cognisance of who and what is around them as they career through supermarkets, trains,etc. Never apologise seems to be their mantra, but they're never aware of anyone else anyway.

P.S. A particular female of this species who lives down the road from me is always dressed like this, plus carrier bags in each hand, even when she leaves the house for shopping. Perhaps she deposits unwanted stuff in unwitting shops.

 

[hst43102]

Personal responsibilty v public health concerns - where do we draw the line? I'd argue that one is a step too far.

I was more meaning that you get all the signs on motorways, (rightly) reminding drivers to take a break and get a coffee, stretch their legs etc. Then you get into the service station and it's a...... drive through Costa? Surely that must create a lot of potentially dangerous situations of tired drivers with hot coffee on the motorway?

The A1M seems particularly bad for these.

 

[Bald Rick]

But many "American" spellings are how they used to be spelt in England 2-3 centuries ago. It is the current English spellings that have changed over the centuries.

Yes, the English spellings have changed, correctly, over time. The Yanks need to keep up with the times!

 

[ABB125]

Yes, the English spellings have changed, correctly, over time. The Yanks need to keep up with the times!

But are they actually correct? Eg: "burnt" vs "burned", both of which can be used correctly in "proper" English, but only one is correct in American English (I think).

 

[nlogax]

I was more meaning that you get all the signs on motorways, (rightly) reminding drivers to take a break and get a coffee, stretch their legs etc. Then you get into the service station and it's a...... drive through Costa? Surely that must create a lot of potentially dangerous situations of tired drivers with hot coffee on the motorway?

Sorry, yes I see your point! Although drive-thru Costas usually have a seated area too as well, don't they?

 

[SteveM70]

I’d just ban Costa, full stop. The coffee is vile. Starbucks may be unethical but their espresso is good, though of the big chains I think Cafe Nero is now best overall

 

[pdeaves]

People who turn without using indicators. If you tell me that you're turning off, I can pull onto that road and and all traffic keeps moving better.

 

[Mat17]

“Hi! I’m carriage 52344 and I want to look my best for you” stickers...

For some perverse reason I always wanted to write underneath them on the Pacers, 'especially whilst I'm being scrapped.'

That would have looked great sat there in Booth's yard!

 

[nlogax]

People who turn without using indicators. If you tell me that you're turning off, I can pull onto that road and and all traffic keeps moving better.

Drivers who don't indicate on roundabouts - or that do, incorrectly. Not only a major annoyance and risk to other road users but to pedestrians wanting to cross adjacent roads.

 

[LSWR Cavalier]

Often one can not trust drivers to do what they are indicating or not indicating. I not mind waiting, indeed I prefer to wait a few seconds until I am sure it is safe to go.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

People who scream about wokeness because somebody called them out on their bigotry.

People who make a positive change in their life, but won't be satisfied until everyone else follows suit.

Conversely, people who are early-adoptors of new trends or technology... but then get annoyed when that trend catches on.

Fussy eaters. If you don't like something then don't eat it. You don't have to tell the world about how unadventurous you are.

Wackaging (and also, the word "wackaging").

Oh, and another one. Doctor's receptionists, the most haughty, unfriendly and unhelpful profession in the country.

 

[Westcountryman]

Any website being accessed from the UK should be made to immediately translate ‘color’ into ‘colour’.

I had a French car with a colour choice on the speedometer screen. The colour was changed by a button on the dash marked 'color'. It really annoyed me as I could have accepted the French 'couleur'. And the cars weren't even sold in America.

 

[WelshBluebird]

Any website being accessed from the UK should be made to immediately translate ‘color’ into ‘colour’.

Appreciate you are talking about text visible to the user, but in terms of CSS (the technology used to style websites) and the like "color" is actually correct. Does make it a little annoying being a web developer and just having to accept the "incorrect" spellings!

 

[prod_pep]

Appreciate you are talking about text visible to the user, but in terms of CSS (the technology used to style websites) and the like "color" is actually correct. Does make it a little annoying being a web developer and just having to accept the "incorrect" spellings!

Prior to the emergence of CSS, it was the same thing with HTML attributes. Despite this, I was always careful not to slip into the trap of using American spellings on any of my visible content.

 

[OuterDistant]

It probably doesn't meet the OP's requirement (i.e. not a "ban"), but anyone referring to Liebeck v McDonald's Restaurants as an example of frivolous legal action should be placed into the passenger seat of a parked car before having searingly hot coffee poured into their lap.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Wackaging (and also, the word "wackaging")

In fact, extend that to almost all modern portmanteaux (assuming that's the correct plural form- it certainly should be). Brexit, Stroad, Frappuccino... Be gone!

 

[pdeaves]

Electronic billboards. There's enough distractions on the roads as it is without some bright image suddenly changing and drawing attention away. Understandably (from the advertisers' perspective) they are usually placed at busy junctions (for maximum viewing), the very place where distraction is even less desirable than normal.

 

[High Dyke]

Either they don't want to waste fuel or they use engine braking and don't want to waste precious brake light bulbs.

LOL. I do that sometimes, but then again I was taught how to control the speed and deceleration of a vehicle using the gears (not possible with those who drive an automatic).

 

[SurreyCommuter]

"Nice to meet you, Mr Lewis. Or should that be Mr Lewis? Or Mr Lewis Lewis?"

Slightly off topic but former footballer Gary Neville's dad is called Neville Neville.

 

[hst43102]

It probably doesn't meet the OP's requirement (i.e. not a "ban"), but anyone referring to Liebeck v McDonald's Restaurants as an example of frivolous legal action should be placed into the passenger seat of a parked car before having searingly hot coffee poured into their lap.

I must confess I have no idea what you're referring to here. Would you be able to explain it in extreme layman terms?

 

[ABB125]

Slightly off topic but former footballer Gary Neville's dad is called Neville Neville.

I didn't know that, interesting!

 

[Gloster]

I must confess I have no idea what you're referring to here. Would you be able to explain it in extreme layman terms?

There is a Wikipedia page on the case. I had to look it up too.