Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Gareth]

Put the freshness back.

 

[bearhugger]

"Just one Cornetto, give it to me"

Has to go down along with the Shake 'n' Vac as one of the most memorable adverts of all time !!

Indeed, if you ever hear the original music those are the very words you sing!

 

[yorksrob]

Indeed, if you ever hear the original music those are the very words you sing!

Absolutely. That's advertising !

I must admit, I've never used Shake'n'vac, but if i did, I am would feel compelled to do the little dance !

 

[ABB125]

Saying "you and I" in situations where the correct lexicon is "you and me".

You and I both!

 

[61653 HTAFC]

"Just one Cornetto, give it to me"

"Not flipping likely, they cost 50p!"

 

[yorksrob]

"Not flipping likely, they cost 50p!"

50p ! extortion

 

[Bald Rick]

I must admit, I've never used Shake'n'vac, but if i did, I am would feel compelled to do the little dance !

I once tried using some old talc, worked just as well and freshened the room up! But probably more expensive.

 

[bearhugger]

Absolutely. That's advertising !

Certainly for people of a certain age in the Teesside area, a car sales chain of garages used Tina Turner's song Simply The Best, going along the lines of "You're simply the best - South Cleveland Garages!". If the song comes on the radio, all us oldies locally will sing the South Cleveland Garages bit - even though they haven't existed for quite a few years now!

 

[yorksrob]

I once tried using some old talc, worked just as well and freshened the room up! But probably more expensive.

Talc is one of those products I've never encountered since moving out of the parental home I'm afraid, though I imagine sprinkling of on a carpet and hoovering it up again might make it smell better !

Certainly for people of a certain age in the Teesside area, a car sales chain of garages used Tina Turner's song Simply The Best, going along the lines of "You're simply the best - South Cleveland Garages!". If the song comes on the radio, all us oldies locally will sing the South Cleveland Garages bit - even though they haven't existed for quite a few years now!

Ah, now radio adverts are quite a different thing - always been a BEEB man for the radio !

 

[Cowley]

When you think you’re being clever by leaving the motorway in a traffic jam and taking a different route through Taunton (for example obviously) and then realising that everyone else has had exactly the same idea thus adding an estimated 45 minutes at least to your journey when it would have been far far quicker to have stayed put…
I’m over it now.

 

[Ianno87]

When you think you’re being clever by leaving the motorway in a traffic jam and taking a different route through Taunton (for example obviously) and then realising that everyone else has had exactly the same idea thus adding an estimated 45 minutes at least to your journey when it would have been far far quicker to have stayed put…
I’m over it now.

Google Maps is very good at working this out for you.

 

[birchesgreen]

Ah here is one from today, i'd ban people from hiding from the conductor in the train toilet when they obviously haven't paid for a ticket... especially when i want to go!

 

[yorksrob]

Ah here is one from today, i'd ban people from hiding from the conductor in the train toilet when they obviously haven't paid for a ticket... especially when i want to go!

Absolutely - especially when there's only one toilet on the whole train !!!!

 

[Cowley]

Google Maps is very good at working this out for you.

It didn’t this time unfortunately because by the time I’d committed everyone else had done too.

 

[Ianno87]

It didn’t this time unfortunately because by the time I’d committed everyone else had done too.

I routinely use it for navigation even for journeys where I know where I'm going - worth it for how often it picks up traffic and sends you round it.

 

[py_megapixel]

Can I ban people from answering just "yes" or "no" to questions which have an "or" in them? It's often hard to tell if they're saying yes/no to the first or second option.

Example:
"Where is the 9:24 to XXX? Have they moved it to platform 12, or is it still from platform 13?"
"Yes"

 

[Peter C]

Can I ban people from answering just "yes" or "no" to questions which have an "or" in them? It's often hard to tell if they're saying yes/no to the first or second option.

Example:
"Where is the 9:24 to XXX? Have they moved it to platform 12, or is it still from platform 13?"
"Yes"

The only way answering "yes" or "no" to one of those questions is if you answer before the second bit of the question is asked - I've done that a few times when I've not realised an "or..." is coming. But then you can end up in a situation when the person you're answering doesn't hear your response and you have to answer again

-Peter

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Can I ban people from answering just "yes" or "no" to questions which have an "or" in them? It's often hard to tell if they're saying yes/no to the first or second option.

Example:
"Where is the 9:24 to XXX? Have they moved it to platform 12, or is it still from platform 13?"
"Yes"

That would be a ecumenical matter...

 

[Acey]

Those dubious looking little pads of blood stained cloth you find under meat in packages,always reminds me of A&E on a Saturday night !
Radio One !

 

[Gloster]

People who, when their bus is late, stop a bus on another route and don’t merely ask the driver if their bus is on the way, but delay it by complaining and arguing.

 

[duncanp]

People who, when their bus is late, stop a bus on another route and don’t merely ask the driver if their bus is on the way, but delay it by complaining and arguing.

Or people who stop the bus and ask whether it goes to XXX.

The driver has to ask where XXX is, and there then ensues a long conversation about whether the bus goes where they want to go, after which they decide it doesn't and they then get off again.

 

[Peter C]

Continuing the bus theme:

• Bus stops not showing the correct bus times.
• Bus stops which have more than one sign reading "BUS STOP" - Stagecoach seem to like putting signs telling you it's a bus stop next to the one which has been at the top of the sign for decades and still functions quite well
• Bus seats without plenty of legroom
• People parking their cars near a bus stop, meaning you have to walk into the road to board the bus*
• Every bit of a bus rattling or shaking, almost as if that powers the bus
• Bus stops without proper seats - those stupid things you're supposed to lean on are dreadful
• Getting on the bus for the first time and finding you've stepped into a whole little community where everyone knows everyone else and they're all having a grand old time and you just want to get to your destination without listening to what Susan did in the village shop last Tuesday
• Buses that take forever to get from service origin to destination
• Towns which have almost no bus stops at one end, and then loads at the other - with both areas having similar population densities and need for a bus

And breathe

-Peter

 

[py_megapixel]

• People parking their cars near a bus stop, meaning you have to walk into the road to board the bus*

A particular van driver always parks immediately behind one of my most frequently used bus stops. The van is large enough that, until the last moment, I can't see the bus' destination box and bus drivers can't see me with my hand out, so they generally have to either slam on the brakes or overshoot the stop.

I wonder if I should put a note on their windscreen politely asking them to choose a better parking space. I don't imagine they mean any harm - it probably just hasn't crossed their mind that it might cause visibility issues.

 

[Ianno87]

Another driving one: People that can't maintain a steady, constant speed on a clear motorway, *especially* when they hang in Lane 2 or 3.

 

[Peter C]

A particular van driver always parks immediately behind one of my most frequently used bus stops. The van is large enough that, until the last moment, I can't see the bus' destination box and bus drivers can't see me with my hand out, so they generally have to either slam on the brakes or overshoot the stop.

I wonder if I should put a note on their windscreen politely asking them to choose a better parking space. I don't imagine they mean any harm - it probably just hasn't crossed their mind that it might cause visibility issues.

I've had to get a bus from a particular stop twice in the past few years (not as regular as most people on here I know!), and both times, there's been a car or two in the bus stop area. There isn't a box for the bus to stop in, so it's not clear really (apart from the big sign). Just a pain!

-Peter

 

[Busaholic]

I've had to get a bus from a particular stop twice in the past few years (not as regular as most people on here I know!), and both times, there's been a car or two in the bus stop area. There isn't a box for the bus to stop in, so it's not clear really (apart from the big sign). Just a pain!

-Peter

Without the box and appropriate signage it's not a ticketing offence, so some people will take advantage.

 

[Peter C]

Without the box and appropriate signage it's not a ticketing offence, so some people will take advantage.

Ah now I didn't know that. Thanks

-Peter

 

[birchesgreen]

People who drive slow, but speed up when you try and overtake them.

 

[ic31420]

3. Do the fruit and veg first and put it in the front section of the trolley that is partioned for thst purpose.

See all always thought the partitioned bit of the trolley was for the drinks and you leave it empty to put the drinks in near the end.

 

[Bald Rick]

See all always thought the partitioned bit of the trolley was for the drinks and you leave it empty to put the drinks in near the end.

Surely that’s not big enough for a typical drinks shop? Not for me anyway