Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Strat-tastic]

Twitter.
They've gone from an ad every 3 or 4 days to an ad every 3 or 4 tweets.
I don't know if I can carry on if this is the future.

 

[Techniquest]

Twitter.
They've gone from an ad every 3 or 4 days to an ad every 3 or 4 tweets.
I don't know if I can carry on if this is the future.

I abandoned Twitter months ago, I'm much happier for it. Sure, there's things it would be useful for, but I don't miss it whatsoever.

Just think how much more time you'll have on your hands every day when you give up Twitter!

 

[Strat-tastic]

I abandoned Twitter months ago, I'm much happier for it. Sure, there's things it would be useful for, but I don't miss it whatsoever.

Just think how much more time you'll have on your hands every day when you give up Twitter!

Yeah, to come here and spend time with you lot

 

[duncanp]

I wish we could ban companies from sending you marketing e-mails on Father's day about getting the perfect gift for your father, and restaurants from urging you to book a table to take your father out for lunch.

My father died 16 years ago, and these messages are an unwelcome reminder of this.

 

[ABB125]

I wish we could ban companies from sending you marketing e-mails on Father's day about getting the perfect gift for your father, and restaurants from urging you to book a table to take your father out for lunch.

My father died 16 years ago, and these messages are an unwelcome reminder of this.

To be fair, some companies (Cross Country, as one example) will send you an email in advance asking if you would like to opt out of Fathers'/Mothers' Day marketing. But ultimately that's not really very helpful...

 

[duncanp]

To be fair, some companies (Cross Country, as one example) will send you an email in advance asking if you would like to opt out of Fathers'/Mothers' Day marketing. But ultimately that's not really very helpful...

It is rather like people who have lost a wife or husband being sent marketing e-mails around the time of Valentine's Day.

 

[PeterY]

Twitter.
They've gone from an ad every 3 or 4 days to an ad every 3 or 4 tweets.
I don't know if I can carry on if this is the future.

I've never used ****ter, instargram, Tok Tik, Whatsup etc so I don't know if I'm missing anything. I doubt it.

I do use Faceache Facebook though but only once a day on my laptop.

 

[duncanp]

Can we PLEASE ban the annyoing "Money Super 7" adverts for MoneySupermarket.Com that are currently running on radio and TV.

Not only are they really irritating, but the savings the website purports to offer are not as good as they seem, eg:-

"..51% of people can save up to £170 on their car insurance.."

This implies that 49% of people can't save anything on their car insurance, and the 51% who can save something includes those who can save just £5.

The percentage of people who can save £170 must be very small.

 

[py_megapixel]

Can we PLEASE ban the annyoing "Money Super 7" adverts for MoneySupermarket.Com that are currently running on radio and TV.

Not only are they really irritating, but the savings the website purports to offer are not as good as they seem, eg:-

"..51% of people can save up to £170 on their car insurance.."

This implies that 49% of people can't save anything on their car insurance, and the 51% who can save something includes those who can save just £5.

The percentage of people who can save £170 must be very small.

Apparently as of 2022 there were approximately 38 million "licensed" motor vehicles (excluding buses and HGVs), those being vehicles which have paid their vehicle tax for that year. Dividing 38 million by the UK population of 67.3 million indicates that the number of vehicles on the road is about 57% of the number of people in the country.

Of course, each vehicle on the road needs to be insured, but you would expected the number of people holding at least one car insurance policy to be less than the total number of vehicles needing to be insured, because of people owning multiple vehicles, companies which insure fleets of vehicles under one policy, people who choose to illegally drive without insurance and so on.

So is it possible that Money Supermarket simply estimates that 51% of the population holds a car insurance policy? Of course, all of those people are capable of saving "up to £170" (even if "up to £170" turns out to mean £0), which is possibly how they come to their statistic.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Can we ban lazy and misleading use of statistics? Your population figure used above includes those too young to drive, and those unable to for other reasons such as being disqualified or medically unfit. Other examples of this include station usage discussion- don't divide by 365, as there are no trains on Christmas day. Also don't divide by 364, as nobody actually uses the same train on every day of the year that they could. Whilst you won't get an exact figure for daily usage or number of individual users no matter what, dividing by say 320 or 330 will probably be nearer the mark allowing for weekends, holidays, etc.

Average life expectancy is another- you'll hear people say things like "in country X, average life expectancy is 43" or "in pre-industrial Britain the average man lived to be 40, so you'd be an old man at 45". Both of these are fallacious: Whilst we can indeed expect to live longer in modern day Western Europe, the prime reason the average life expectancy is so low historically or in less developed countries is the high rate of infant mortality. If you made it through childhood you've done the hard part, and shouldn't necessarily expect to drop dead in your forties because "that's the average".

 

[Richardr]

An agreement from me re stats - can we start with misleading use in newspapers and the like?

More accurate car ownership by household can be found at ONS Census stats

As a preview, in England and Wales there were 24.8 million households, of which 5.8m didn't have a car or a van.

Meanwhile, re life expectancy, don't forget that these numbers can only be obtained accurately from those who have died.

 

[daveo]

Another annoying statistical manipulation for effect -
Newspaper report that criminal gang has been sent to prison for 20 years. Sounds like a tough sentence!! Read deeper and find that 10 gang members each received a 2 year sentence. (numbers quoted as examples not a specific case)

 

[Bletchleyite]

Another annoying statistical manipulation for effect -
Newspaper report that criminal gang has been sent to prison for 20 years. Sounds like a tough sentence!! Read deeper and find that 10 gang members each received a 2 year sentence. (numbers quoted as examples not a specific case)

Oddly it's been common for years to say that a group of criminals were "sentenced to a total of 20 years" or whatever, it's not a modern clickbait thing. It is rather misleading though.

 

[gg1]

One often misleading statistics related phrase is when a value is stated as the highest/lowest 'since records began'.

I've seen numerous examples of this being used where after a little research you discover 'records began' less than 20 years ago.

 

[py_megapixel]

Can we ban lazy and misleading use of statistics? Your population figure used above includes those too young to drive, and those unable to for other reasons such as being disqualified or medically unfit.

I am well aware of that - but the advert mentioned in the post above mine refers to "51% of people", not "51% of drivers", which is why I used the whole population figure.

My point was that it could plausibly be the case that "51% of people can save up to £X on their car insurance" simply because 51% could plausibly be the proportion of the population that has a car insurance policy to begin with!

 

[dangie]

Flies which find their way in through the open bedroom window, buzz around between the window and the curtains, but seem incapable of finding their way out again.

 

[birchesgreen]

Flies which find their way in through the open bedroom window, buzz around between the window and the curtains, but seem incapable of finding their way out again.

Flies are dumb and below us in evolution. Thats why they continually headbutt windows and we complain on internet fora about them continually headbutting windows.

 

[dangie]

Flies which find their way in through the open bedroom window, buzz around between the window and the curtains, but seem incapable of finding their way out again.

On the same vein, been out cycling this morning. I’m extremely follicly challenged (bald). Insects which enter your cycling helmet but don’t exit. Tickles like hell. I’ve been stung by a wasp and before I could stop and get my helmet off the b*stard stung me again…

Flies are dumb and below us in evolution.….

You’ve not been in our local Wetherspoons on a Saturday night……

 

[Matey]

The BBC news website which deems it essential to include a photograph per article. We all know what Boris Johnson, a bus, an ambulance and police cars etc. look like.

 

[dangie]

The BBC news website which deems it essential to include a photograph per article. We all know what Boris Johnson, a bus, an ambulance and police cars etc. look like.

.... and as I said in an earlier post on this same thread, it's often not a photograph directly related to the article, just a stock image.

 

[75A]

.... and as I said in an earlier post on this same thread, it's often not a photograph directly related to the article, just a stock image.

But if fills up space.

 

[Matey]

But if fills up space.

True, but Johnson is a waste of space in every every sense.

 

[Bald Rick]

People who amend proper names into portmanteau terms to reflect how they feel about the individual / organisation. For example:

Remoaner
Tony Bliar
Locktivist
Notwork Rail


its childish and makes you look very, very silly.

 

[Matey]

People who amend proper names into portmanteau terms to reflect how they feel about the individual / organisation. For example:

Remoaner
Tony Bliar
Locktivist
Notwork Rail


its childish and makes you look very, very silly.

Agreed, it happens a lot on the BBC's, "Have Your Say" HYS and I often wonder who or what they are talking about.

 

[75A]

True, but Johnson is a waste of space in every every sense.

Can't argue with that.

Would you like to add one that I use a lot?

The disunited kingdom

 

[dangie]

From the BBC:
A water company that has imposed a hosepipe ban has blamed people working from home for the shortage.

This reminds me of when I was serving my apprenticeship, the boss said ‘I’m not buying anymore swarfega, you buggers keep using it…ll

South East Water blames working from home for hosepipe ban

South East Water claims shortages are partly down to more people working from home.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Ostrich]

Comedic things you would ban. Minor things that irritate you.

Catherine Tate. 'Nuff said!

 

[dangie]

Just how much does ‘big brother’ listen to your conversations? Is your phone constantly listening?
In the pub this evening we were talking about record decks.
What happened?
When I got home an advert appeared on my F*cebook for Linn Sondek record decks……
This isn’t the first time something similar has happened.
Good job I keep most of my thoughts to myself…..l.l

Catherine Tate. 'Nuff said!

As humorous as a cold sore…..

 

[Techniquest]

Catherine Tate. 'Nuff said!

I'll agree. I didn't know who this person was until she popped up on Eurovision the other week. Declared a British icon or whatever the words used for her were, quite honestly I was dismayed at how much cheering she received. If that's the image of the UK we're broadcasting, then quite honestly I'm appalled.

One from me for the list:

Housemates who can't clean!

 

[Bald Rick]

Housemates who can't clean!

2 Questions:

a) Can’t or won’t?
b) the house or themselves?