Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[pitdiver]

Rats make lovely pets, other than them not living very long. Rat owners also tend not to leave a big mess on the pavement, or let their furry friends drool all over random strangers in public.

Ferrets make good pets as well, according to my wife. At one time she had 16 of them. All named.

 

[Sun Chariot]

I seem to be getter shorter as well, now under 2m for the first time since I was a child.

And there's me, convinced that overweight folk can - in the main - lose weight but tall folk (I'm 6' 6") cannot lose height.

 

[gg1]

And there's me, convinced that overweight folk can - in the main - lose weight but tall folk (I'm 6' 6") cannot lose height.

It's a normal part of aging, from middle age onwards you lose a few mm of height per year. When my dad reached his mid 80s he was around 2 inches shorter than he was in his 20s.

 

[75A]

It's a normal part of aging, from middle age onwards you lose a few mm of height per year. When my dad reached his mid 80s he was around 2 inches shorter than he was in his 20s.

I was 2.03m in my 20's & now I'm 1.98 and 64.

 

[gg1]

Rats make lovely pets, other than them not living very long. Rat owners also tend not to leave a big mess on the pavement, or let their furry friends drool all over random strangers in public.

Completely agree, if ever any friends mention they're thinking of getting a small pet for their child, I always push the merits of rats. They're more intelligent, playful and affectionate than hamsters, gerbils, chinchillas etc.

I was 2.03m in my 20'2 & now I'm 1.98 and 64.

Around the same amount my dad had shrunk by 20+ years later. Maybe the rate of decrease is accelerated if you're taller to start off with, my dad's starting height was 5' 11" / 1.80m

 

[D6130]

"On behalf of the driver and myself...."

Of course it's on behalf of yourself if you're saying it!

 

[Mcr Warrior]

"On behalf of the driver and myself...."

Of course it's on behalf of yourself if you're saying it!

Can kind of understand the nuance of the phrase, in that it makes reasonably clear that the person making the announcement isn't the driver. And to be fair, it's not really up there compared with some of the other "comedic" gems we've had so far.

 

[Lucan]

Nothing wrong in my opinion with e-scooters. I'm 72 and I'd love one.

The problem is the riders not the scooters, and when I say riders I really mean some riders.

That last sentence sounds just like what American gun-lovers say about guns - I am on some other forums where they always come up with this argument. You could also have said the same about cars before a driving test and licence were required - that did not work well.

 

[Sun Chariot]

Cheesy fragrance/cosmetics adverts on TV.
I'm looking at you, Charlotte Tilbury ad (that one with Elton John, Kate Moss).
And at you, Marc Jacobs ad (the one with whimsical young women droning "Daisy Daisy Daisy Daisy"....)

 

[Chrysalis]

Completely agree, if ever any friends mention they're thinking of getting a small pet for their child, I always push the merits of rats. They're more intelligent, playful and affectionate than hamsters, gerbils, chinchillas etc.

But they also have a short life span which means heartbreak much sooner than if you'd get e.g. a cat.

I'd like to ban Royal Mail delivering parcels inside my bins!

 

[gg1]

But they also have a short life span which means heartbreak much sooner than if you'd get e.g. a cat.

Although it sounds a little morbid, there is a plus side to that too.

The death of someone they care about is something many children will have to go through, it's better that their first experience of death is that of a pet rather than a much loved grandparent or great grandparent.

 

[Gloster]

Although it sounds a little morbid, there is a plus side to that too.

The death of someone they care about is something many children will have to go through, it's better that their first experience of death is that of a pet rather than a much loved grandparent or great grandparent.

And it reduces the number of years that the parents are stuck with the pet after the child gets bored, becomes interested in other things or leaves home. Just when they think that they can have a bit of time to spend on their own pleasures, they find themselves stuck with looking after the pet.

 

[Chrysalis]

And it reduces the number of years that the parents are stuck with the pet after the child gets bored, becomes interested in other things or leaves home. Just when they think that they can have a bit of time to spend on their own pleasures, they find themselves stuck with looking after the pet.

My partners parents are stuck with a tortoise they had to "adopt" 20 or so years ago. Point taken

 

[Busaholic]

I was 2.03m in my 20's & now I'm 1.98 and 64.

I was 5 ft 9in, now 5 ft 7in, and it's not hair loss as I have a full head of it still!

 

[Sealink]

“For me, personally“ well of course is personal you’ve already said “for me”

I think we’ve strayed off comedic issues

Indeed!
And I haven't read the full 215 pages, but I am sure "I am/was literally..." has been mentioned

 

[Ediswan]

Posts along the lines of "Anybody who ... should be banned from driving for life".

 

[dangie]

Christmas television programmes which have obviously been filmed in the middle of summer.

 

[PeterY]

"

If you want less taste and thin sauce for for supermarkets Aldi price match version. At least you aren't paying Heinz prices!


====================================

Oh and any travel article about a new flight route.

"xxx airline takes off with new service to..."

I'd ban Aldi beans. Absolutely vile.

 

[Strat-tastic]

I'd ban Aldi beans. Absolutely vile.

Their 'premium' beans are good at ~45p.

 

[Peter C]

I'd ban Instagram sending me pointless notifications telling me to "check out today's most-watched reels [short-form videos]". I barely watch reels as it is, and it amuses me that it's just sent me a notification about the most popular ones for today and it's just gone 9am!

-Peter

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I'd ban Instagram sending me pointless notifications telling me to "check out today's most-watched reels [short-form videos]". I barely watch reels as it is, and it amuses me that it's just sent me a notification about the most popular ones for today and it's just gone 9am!

-Peter

Fixed that for you!

 

[Statto]

The term, "Good Service" meaning public transport (particularly trains) are running normally, what happened to just using "Normal Service", as good service is quite ambiguas, the term Good Service seems to have been first started by TFL early 2000s to describe latest Tube running updates.

 

[HarryF]

What would I ban?
WHSmith. Overpriced with disinterested staff.
Also, people playing things on trains without headphones. We don’t all want to listen to whatever you’re watching or listening too, it’s incredibly antisocial.

 

[507021]

Paul Tierney being involved in any form of officiating a football game involving Liverpool.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Paul Tierney being involved in any form of officiating a football game involving Liverpool.

Corrected. Still haven't forgiven or forgotten his woeful showing on the VAR panel for the play-off final in 2022. Never will.

 

[507021]

Corrected. Still haven't forgiven or forgotten his woeful showing on the VAR panel for the play-off final in 2022. Never will.

I'll give you that one. He really has to be the most dreadful match official I've ever seen, and that's saying something.

 

[daveo]

Leave Wigan's finest alone!!!!!!

 

[Sun Chariot]

Due to public confusion this year (attached topics), I'd like to ban all orange netting, all yoga classes and all potatoes....

 

[dangie]

Christmas Decorations.
Leaving them up until Twelfth Night was ok back in the day when they didn't go up until a week before Christmas, but as some have been up since the beginning of November take them down now.

 

[Calthrop]

People in queues -- for... whatever is being queued for... who when there is a gap between them and the person in front of them in the queue: omit to step forward and close the gap up. Being behind (immediately, or by a factor of one or two preceding queu-ers) persons doing this, makes me feel frustrated and angry. Will admit that this is highly irrational on my part: the thing does me absolutely no harm beyond -- if I am the person directly behind the offender -- delaying my finally being served, by the couple of seconds which it takes the bod at last to go forward for them to be served. Nevertheless, it arouses in me resentment toward the "loiterer" -- feeling (unkindly, I confess) that they are at best oblivious; at worst, in a very small way consciously offensive and malicious; to the people in close proximity to them, and sharing their situation.