Work Place sickness is very much a minefield of policy & procedures and there isn't necessary a black/white rule to how employers should deal with sickness and the private lives of staff.
But there can be more black and white rules. Employee terms and conditions should set out the details for sickness of any kind. There should be a difference between a single days sick and long term sickness. Having clear terms and conditions help ameliorate any sickness issues.
I believe each case should be judged and dealt with differently - just because two employees suffer from the same illness doesn't mean they should be dealt with the same. Everyone has different needs and circumstances.
Employees should be dealt with fairly and evenly. Following on from the point above; clear policies are there to give all employees an equality or at least some semblence of. I would agree that each case needs to be based on that individuals needs.
The issue of having a social life outside of work whilst off sick is open for debate.
This, in some way, has actually been dealt with in the law. 'Fit notes' are issued rather than the generic 'Sick note' Your GP should be able to issue a note stating that you are unfit for work. I doubt I could drive a train with a broken leg but that in no way stops me from going down to the pub or even going on holiday. I certainly believe that some people still cannot differentiate between being 'sick' and 'unfit' for work.
'Off sick' has been a generic umbrella term for many many years and has evolved to become something negative. Modern employment cannot keep this outdated attitude towards any form of sickenss. One of the reasons why 'fit notes' were introduced was to keep employees at work and earning and the employeer still having a productive employee. Quite often an employee doesn't need to go 'off sick' but can be given alternative duties instead. However, employeers are reluctant to offer alternative duties for numerous reasons. This would certainly require a culture change.
If you have been signed off work, then you are entitled to do whatever you wish; your employeer has *no say in that.
Having a daytime coffee in a cafe with a friend or participating in gentle exercise (like a walk) surely can't be frowned upon, unless the patient is supposed to bedridden or cannot leave the house. However, if the patient is say recovering from hospital surgery and is just venturing out here & there to have that coffee or a walk then that should be totally acceptable if it is part of the recuperation process.
There is a difference here between someone saying they are 'bedridden' and then going out for a coffee. *Clearly if the employee is lying of simply 'pulling a sickie' then there should be some punitive action taken (subject to employment laws and employee terms etc) but that clear difference is important to highlight.
My own attitude is - if you are off work sick (whether a physical or mental illness) you should not be out partying or doing a night on the town, getting blitzed on endless pints and shots. That's just my opinion anyway for what it's worth.
My attitude is more non judgemental. If someone is 'off sick' then I am most likeluy not aware of all the facts of the reasons why they are off. If you are off sick then there is zero reason to be locked up at home. People are off sick for so many reasons and its not my place to judge or decide what they should or shouldn't be doing. One of our Drivers was 'off sick' and regularly turned up to our work drinks. He has Cancer. Should he be banned from leaving the house ?
From my own experience - sickness & socialising is a very grey area to deal with but I suppose a common sense attitude is needed to ensure both sides (the employer & the sick employee) knows their boundaries.
My personal experience comes from both sides of the table. The world has moved on and we all need to be more understanding and a lot more educated when dealing with 'sickness'
Not specifically picking on you but you raise some interesting points.