How do you get back from failure?

[Scotrail12]

I've had a awful year at uni both academically and mentally, and though I've passed most classes, I've just failed an essay horribly and frankly there is part of me that went to end my life because I can't see my life going anywhere now and can't face admitting to anyone that I haven't done good enough. Its thankfully my last year but that means I have little chance for 'redemption' now.

How do people bounce back from failure/a bad year and find success? My life is completely fine outside of academia, and I have ideas of projects I want to do but on the academia/career side, it's a hot mess.

 

[philthetube]

What are you studying? are you interested in the subject, if not then that is probably the problem, is it possible to switch courses, not having a degree is not the end of the world, don, kill yourself over education.

First thing to do though is find a student councillor and see what help you can find.

 

[Lewlew]

It’s just a bump in the road. It may seem like it’s all over now but keep going and at some point you’ll look back and realise it really wasn’t that much of an issue. More opportunities will arise. Keep your head up, learn from any mistakes you may have made and keep on going.

 

[jj1314]

First of all, my full sympathy. Things will get better and at some point in the future you'll be able to look back from a stronger, happier position.

I was in a similar situation in my second year at Uni. Long story short, it's barely a ripple in the ocean now. A module parked 'pass' (but only just!) nestled in a degree transcript I don't think anyone's looked at in a decade or so. I went from that to Masters and PhD (both in the sciences) and I haven't had to account for it. It just reminds me that I need to focus on things that bring me joy, and that I'm weaker in terms of numeracy.

In my opinion the key is to accept the situation, contextualise it (it's valid, but it may not be as big a deal as you may feel in the moment) and reflect on what you can draw from it as a positive. Is there a lesson to learn?

 

[Cloud Strife]

Having failed more modules than I care to count in the past, and with an unwritten MA thesis in front of me, I can give you one piece of solid advice: some subjects are just really, really difficult and you can't be great at everything. I struggled through several linguistics-related subjects at uni, including one that I only passed after (in desperation!) resorting to wearing shorts and having notes written on my leg.

What I'd strongly advise you to do is go find the person that marked the essay and have a chat with them about it. It can really help, and the vast majority of them (even the monsters) are more than happy to have a chat about it. I had one module with a terrifying old bat, but when I went to her and explained that I simply didn't understand what was going on, she was more than happy to sit there for an hour to go through all the material with me.

 

[cjmillsnun]

I've had a awful year at uni both academically and mentally, and though I've passed most classes, I've just failed an essay horribly and frankly there is part of me that went to end my life because I can't see my life going anywhere now and can't face admitting to anyone that I haven't done good enough. Its thankfully my last year but that means I have little chance for 'redemption' now.

How do people bounce back from failure/a bad year and find success? My life is completely fine outside of academia, and I have ideas of projects I want to do but on the academia/career side, it's a hot mess.

First off if you have any suicidal thoughts, please talk to someone about it.

My uni life was a disaster. I failed and dropped out. I made the conscious decision to make the best of what I’ve got. I have progressed the hard way and am a senior engineer. I still don’t have a degree.

 

[birchesgreen]

I nearly failed one of my modules at uni, infact afterwards it meant it became virtually impossible for me to get a 2:1 instead of a 2:2. I was pretty down at the time about it.

Nearly 30 years later and after a long continuous career in the same field it doesn't seem to have been that important after all.

 

[315801]

I am studying for a Volcanology degree with the Open University, currently in my 5th year for which the module is Environmental Science.

If anything I would say this module has been a complete pain in the rear and really wishing it was not 1 of the modules I have to do towards my degree.

The annoying thing about it was that your practically forced to take part in at least 1 field school and do 2 nuisance projects which don't contribute anything in terms of knowledge that I will need out there in the field.

Even more annoying is that I have built up a lot of knowledge about the subject that I could literally do face to face presentations about it. The problem is a job in Volcanology is not attainable without a degree. As it stands I have to persevere with it and hopefully graduate in 2024 or 2025.

 

[duncanp]

I nearly failed one of my modules at uni, infact afterwards it meant it became virtually impossible for me to get a 2:1 instead of a 2:2. I was pretty down at the time about it.

Nearly 30 years later and after a long continuous career in the same field it doesn't seem to have been that important after all.

I "only" got a 2:2 instead of a 2:1 or a first.

You are correct in that after a very short space of time, the extra value and employability conferred by a 2:1 as opposed to a 2:2 vanishes.

Employers are interested in how you perform on the job, and it isn't always the case that graduates with higher degrees perform better than those with lower degrees.

So if you fail a module at university, it isn't the end of the world.

But going back to the OP, I do echo the earlier suggestion to speak to the person who failed your essay, and find out what factors lead to your being failed. Then you can work on improving these factors in the future.

This is rather like failing the driving test - if you know what points the examiner failed you on you can practise those points so that there is less chance of you failing the test the second time.

Also regarding mental health generally, try to focus on the positives rather than the negatives.

There is a well known prayer called the Serenity Prayer:-

"God grant me the grace to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference"

If you are not religious, forget about the God bit, but this notion of accepting the things you cannot change and changing the things that you can change is critical to having good mental health. Often you can't change something, such as failing an essay at university for example, but you can always change your attitude to whatever it is that can't be changed.

 

[Scotrail12]

Thanks all for the advice.

The main issue regarding the future is that it's so uncertain. The mark was low enough that the desired certification is probably out of reach and beyond that, I have no interest whatsoever in continuing in the field I studied (politics). It sucks the life out of me a bit and I don't find any of the jobs in it suggested by careers counsellors to be appealing. So I feel like I'd need to start completely from scratch.

 

[Tramfan]

I certainly think speaking to the person that marked the essay is still a good thing to do. Some competency based job interviews will ask for a time that you've failed, and if you can describe that you took this step to understand why, and what you'd potentially need to work on in the future, then that is exactly the sort of answer they are going to be looking for. I finished my degree without a clue what I wanted to do job-wise, and it's certainly never too late to decide you want to pursue something different. Politics certainly sounds like a complex course, and you say you've passed most classes, so I'm sure you'll have used/developed many key skills that you can apply in other areas.

I also reiterate the advice that if you are really struggling mentally, please do talk to someone about it.

 

[cb a1]

My first degree was in a science. Nearly got kicked out for not completing my practical write-ups. Scraped a 2:2 by less than 1%.

Have barely used anything I learnt in that degree since.

After university, I spent the next few years doing all manner of jobs from working in bars, secretarial work, selling loans, teaching, etc. before I got a short-term job as a transport planner and I discovered my niche in life. Second degree in transport planning and haven't regretted it once.

As an employer, I don't recall ever looking at what class of degree someone has. Personally, I wouldn't even be that insistent on a degree, but the roles I look at all have a degree as a minimum entry requirement.

I didn't realise until I was in my 40s that I have struggled with my mental health for pretty much all my life. Spent far too long self-medicating with alcohol and nicotine. Things improved when the stigma with mental health started to recede and there was much more discussion. It helped me realise and accept that I did have a mental health problem. I found the saying 'it's ok to not be ok' now making sense. I've learnt to open up to friends, colleagues and managers and for me that has been a huge help and gave credence to the idiom 'a problem shared is a problem halved'. I still have periods where things aren't the best, but the troughs are now much smaller and last for a much shorter length of time; have stopped smoking and my drinking is sensible and now for enjoyment only.

 

[Welly]

It's not the end, rather more of a bump.

I failed at university 30 years ago and felt really awful about myself over the next two years of unemployment but I did start to recover my self esteem when I started studying through the Open University. I got my OU degree about 20 years ago and have been in steady work since then.

 

[duncanp]

Thanks all for the advice.

The main issue regarding the future is that it's so uncertain. The mark was low enough that the desired certification is probably out of reach and beyond that, I have no interest whatsoever in continuing in the field I studied (politics). It sucks the life out of me a bit and I don't find any of the jobs in it suggested by careers counsellors to be appealing. So I feel like I'd need to start completely from scratch.

My degree was in Actuarial Mathematics & Statistics from Heriot-Watt University, Edinburgh, and after graduating I had intentions of becoming an Actuary.

However I found the professional exams too hard, and I eventually drifted into a career in IT Support and Software Testing, with a bit of database design thrown in.

So even if you original career choice doesn't work out, it is most certainly not a complete disaster.

Right now in the UK, there is a shortage of skillled young people, so there should be plenty of career choices out there for you, although it may take a bit of time to find something you fancy.

 

[Peter Sarf]

Thanks all for the advice.

The main issue regarding the future is that it's so uncertain. The mark was low enough that the desired certification is probably out of reach and beyond that, I have no interest whatsoever in continuing in the field I studied (politics). It sucks the life out of me a bit and I don't find any of the jobs in it suggested by careers counsellors to be appealing. So I feel like I'd need to start completely from scratch.

That was me and Nuclear Physics. The pure maths in it was killing it for me. I looked at careers opportunities for motivation but nothing there !. Failed.

Looking back over 40 years it is a small blip in my life. Had a lovely time in IT instead.

Remember you got to university so that was a success. You cannot have everything going your way so to speak. There will always be blips. When you are older the same disappointment/worry/setback will look smaller in the grand scheme of things. You will have a valuable role to play and get rewarded for it.

As for suicide - remember that does not help you and you wont be around to realise how important you were to others.

 

[D821]

I messed up a few parts of my degree and managed to scrape a 2:1. Please don't think you're the only one who has been there. Sometimes it's easy to focus on your own failures and others' success.

 

[Ken X]

Firstly, I admire your honesty in putting up this post. It shows you have courage and inner drive. Everybody who has contributed to this thread cares enough to write in and want you to succeed.
You say that all is good apart from career/academia. This is a positive. You have good things in your life. Sit back and reflect. Enjoy the good things.

You have an opportunity to take a completely new direction in your career. Chat to friends, look at what excites you. What makes you happy and enthuses you. Talk to people and see what you fancy. The world's your oyster. Go for it and enjoy the experience.

I know one guy who was an engineering apprentice with me, packed it in overnight and became an accountant. He was just not getting the engineering and decided to change path. We were amazed. Accountant really! He loves it so good for him.

Change can be unsettling but once conquered new avenues will open up. I wish you every success in the future and once again don't forget to enjoy your positives.

 

[dakta]

If it's really getting you down, you do need to talk to someone, even if its just friends family.

I walked out of uni at 18, was supposed to be a star IT pupil at college but despite enjoying the course the uni env. was horrible and i walked out in my first year, vowing never to do IT. And I didn't for ten years.

I got an opportunity, found the confidence to have another crack and I'm now in an equivelent place to where i could have been, so there can be minor and major bumps in the road, but they are just bumps in the road as said above.

I suffer anxiety...and more...and it's been a horrible year despite things being good 'on paper' so do reach out to someone if its getting bad. Remeber feelings are like the weather, they come and go and nothings permanent so it's good to wait it out and see how you feel after a bit. Should never act on a peak or trough.

 

[Cloud Strife]

The main issue regarding the future is that it's so uncertain. The mark was low enough that the desired certification is probably out of reach and beyond that, I have no interest whatsoever in continuing in the field I studied (politics). It sucks the life out of me a bit and I don't find any of the jobs in it suggested by careers counsellors to be appealing. So I feel like I'd need to start completely from scratch.

Look at it another way: politics can be useful in quite a few different fields, such as in the charity sector. A friend who studied politics years ago is now in a senior position for a Scottish charity, and she says that her ability to chat about politics with politicians is what gave her the edge in quite a few occasions.

Don't worry about the final grade, it's largely meaningless. There's such ridiculous grade inflation these days that no-one is taking grades seriously.

 

[BluePenguin]

I can relate to how you feel. Life at university can be challenging and very lonely

I wasted a year at the University of Portsmouth studying Computer Networks. A lot of the units were engineering topics. I didn’t pass the year and spent the summer bearing my head in the sand.

The following September, I enrolled at Southampton University and studied Network Security Management. My second year was incredibly difficult and my mental health was not great. I had an abusive relationship I was on the edge of ending which didn’t help. After passing with a huge sigh of relief I took a year off to rest, walk and work.

I went back in September and graduated 2 years later than planned. Writing my dissertation was not easy, although I got there. Maybe you could do with a little break too? Or maybe to study a different subject?

 

[315801]

Can I ask please, does your university have a student support team, if so it might be worth contacting them and addressing your concerns with them aswell.

Hope this helps

 

[johntea]

I didn’t even go to University and am now earning quite a bit above the ‘average’ wage

A degree can certainly be useful in getting your foot on the career ladder but once you’re on it experience of doing the actual job starts to become far more valuable to future employers (and if they want you to learn something they’ll pay for it out of their own pocket rather than yours!)

 

[ainsworth74]

When I was doing my A-Levels the plan had been to go and get a degree in computer science and I took the A-Levels to support that. I then bombed, hard, my AS-Level maths to the point that even attempting to go on to A2 just wasn't an option (I got a U to be clear). This required some creative work for my next year both for what I was going to do myself but also for the school (it was quite small at A-Level so they tended to plan timetable blocks for both the AS and A2 for each year group in advance so me swapping caused some timetabling problems as I needed to be in two places at once) which made me feel even worse as I was having my own issues with the failure of the maths A-Level but then the school were putting a bit of pressure to redo the year or at least consider persisting with Maths anyway.

It wasn't nice. But I stuck to my guns, accepted that the plan I had was not going to work out and fell back onto a passion (History) for my degree and the school, to be fair, did bend over backwards in the end to accommodate the change of plan following some discussions (I can't fault them for how they supported me after the failure). But the point is that whilst it was happening it felt awful (I took a lot of long walks just allowing my thoughts to race around) but looking back now at more than a decades remove it was actually a minor speedbump and led me into getting a degree in something I love, meeting people I probably otherwise wouldn't have who I still count as friends now (including some on this Forum actually as Cottingham, near Hull where I went to Uni, was my first Forum Meal!) and led me into a job which, whilst it doesn't pay all that well, is very rewarding (that's the Charity sector for you).

Right now, it might seem like a total disaster area but it certainly isn't the end of the world. Have you considered changing degree as you say you have no interest in carrying on with the subject your doing post-degree? Obviously you're final year but there's no reason you couldn't just change to a different subject and delay your graduation some. To be honest it may not be a bad time to just stick in the academic world for a couple of extra years! What other subjects appeal? What else are you good at?

 

[Islineclear3_1]

Definitely talk to a trusted person. Don't internalize and bottle up your feelings/negative thoughts. I was a failure academically but did well with career progression starting at the bottom and working my way up. Unfortunately I can't retire at 60

If possible, throw yourself into something that you enjoy. No point doing a degree/career that you don't/can't enjoy. I hate my job as much as I love it and throw myself into a hobby (e.g. railways)

There's nothing wrong with failure - often it's a rite of passage that we go through, learn from it and come out better on the other side. Also, look after yourself both physically and mentally. Revive your self-worth

 

[Lloyds siding]

Take any help that the university offers, but you have to ask. It may well be split into pastoral support and academic advice, explain the projects that you are interested in and where you feel things have gone wrong for you. They can help with your mental well-being.
You may be able to defer your degree or, even at this late stage, go for a different topic.
However, it seems that the academic world is not for you...at the present time.
I feel that you should make a break. Find something worth-while that you want to do....if you want to stay in politics there are supporting/researching roles in organisations, as well as working as a researcher for MPs, or members of the House of Lords.
Otherwise discuss those topics you mentioned with someone who understands them and see if you can make a go of them.
Alternatively take a break and do something non-academic. A friend of mine dropped out of uni...became a mental health nurse for a few years, then decided he wanted to study zoology, did his degree and now runs a well known nature reserve, sometimes appearing on tv (Countryfile and the like).
You say that you want to be a success....only you can decide whether you are a success in your terms.

I speak as someone who got a third at uni....which academically wasn't much use to me. (I'd been very ill before finals, no revision and felt awful...I weighed less than 9 stone (57Kg) and I'm 6 foot tall (1.83m).)
However since then I've worked in environmental fields and made a difference to the world, and, in the water quality field, briefly became quite well known regionally and nationally as a result. However that was years ago and now, you would think we achieved nothing, given the campaigns underway now....but that's politics for you!
I've also studied with the OU, did a post-graduate diploma elsewhere (sponsored by my employer)...and as a result of that (and practical experience...which is always so important) got a job as a tutor at OU summer schools.
I've had a rotten time since COVID came along, with very few opportunities, but I start a new job in two weeks time...something I'm good at: talking to people promoting recycling.

In a nutshell: get the advice and support you need now. Then stay aware and take opportunities when they arise, some may not work out, but you will learn from them.
If you decide to return to academia, as others have said, there's the OU and similar types of courses if traditional universities don't appeal.
Don't dwell on the bad feeling of today...move on to some positive areas that you can concentrate on.

 

[Broucek]

Easy for me to say but this is NOT going to define your life!

As others have commented, the UK is desparately short of labour in many sectors.

Forget about the narrow definition of your course and (probably) the specialist knowledge. What you need to consider (perhaps in discussion with some people who know you) is the skills you have gained. For example, I might imagine that studying politics has given you an insight into situations where there are many stakeholders to consider and competing demands. Also, what were you good at when you were at school? Having worked that out, get out and talk to people about different jobs and industries. Many, many people work in jobs that the majority of folk have never even heard of!

Personally, I did a music degree, became an actuary and now work as a pay consultant. That's would be pretty abnormal journey for most people but not for me personally given my specific strengths and weaknesses!

 

[Wynd]

University is extremely challenging. Possibly the most important bit is being sure the career path you are on fits your skills and interests well enough to keep you motivated throughout the tough patches. Engineer here. I saw a path and iv stuck with it, despite it being very, very challenging.

Failure is only final once you give up. If you keep going, its only part of the journey.

Take a breather, lean on your friends and family for support and advice, re-set yourself, and go again.

Figure out what strategies work well with your learning style, so you can get results.

Success at Uni is about eating the elephant one bite at a time. Its daunting, but break it down in to achievable chunks of work, and break those down in to set periods of working time.

If you are totally uninterested in the field, then you should probably switch to something else. Starting again is no issue at any stage in life, but its probably preferable at a younger age.

Per above, you'll find a lot of successful people with the Desmond (2:2) so don't fret too much. It comes out in the wash eventually after a 20 plus year career.

Further, lift you horizons beyond the UK. The outlook here isn't ideal, many commonwealth countries would snap you up for an emigration visa in a heartbeat. You may find a better life waiting elsewhere. In that context, this really is a minor bump in your journey.

 

[GRALISTAIR]

Things WILL get better. Time is a great healer. I bet you have loads of good qualities to offer.

 

[jfollows]

I failed my first year at university.
I applied to one of the universities that had offered me a place when I originally went through the process, to change subject, I went from Mathematics to Computing, although I had fortunately been offered a place as one of my other choices the previous year as I said. I hopped on a train and went to see them, had a chat, and got offered a place.
But whatever you do, you'll have good and bad luck, and you'll end up somewhere and regain your focus, it'll take a little time but it's not the end of your world as it wasn't the end of mine.
I ended up with a 2:2 degree and went and got a job, and that was that, all the degree stuff was in the past and mainly irrelevant to my new career. I lasted 23 years until I quit that job.
Believe in yourself, get support from friends and family, and follow your desires and interests. As others have said, you'll look back in due course and be happier.

 

[315801]

I have had a good few fails through my studies up to now. With some encouragement from my other half and fellow students aswell as any tutors assigned to assist during re-sit's / resubmissions I have been able to pick myself up and rethink my strategies along with possible reworking of my tma's / assessments / assignments depending on the designation used by respective universities.

I did a project last year about the differences between the Chaitén and Kilauea volcanoes, the 1st submission went down like a lead balloon. After talking with the tutor assigned to the module re-sit I was working on in regards to the content of my project and a few other helpful comments, I was able to rework my submission and replaced several parts of it due to finding out that some of my content was irrelevant.

I submitted my resubmission and managed to get the pass I needed in order to proceed to my 5th year