may we have your attention please at FCC HQ. We are sorry to announce that your new customer information system, is a load of s**t. We appologise for the incompitance we have showed you.
The next postbag to arrive at, customer relations, wil be the, any time, any date, customer complaint communication, from, everyboddy. An at desk service, of light insults, is available!
Due to, a blind passenger getting on the wrong train, at, old street, services are being delayed. Will disabled customers intending to travel from this station, please write to your mp now, as fcc's rubbish technition is ready to leav.
Rip phil