Stupid things

[ATW Alex 101]

I got on a merseyrail train from chester (last one) and a foreign lady says is this the direct to sunderland when we were at moorfeilds!! we told her to stay at liverpool and get the first tpe to york then get a train to sunderland from there. have to be nice i suppose

On a chilten train from london to birmingham a lady was ment for new street but had to change at snow hill, when the train terminated she stayed on and the gard says "have to get off now love" and she started arguing saying shes for new street and said that the guy at marylebon said she was on the train for birmingham, what was unbelievable was that she started knocking on the cab insisting that he drives to new street. BTP then turfed her off the station.

 

[strange6]

I overheard a couple of CHAV's at Wigan Wallgate, waiting for a Manchester train, comment that the rails only become live when a train is coming

 

[Hydro]

I overheard a couple of CHAV's at Wigan Wallgate, waiting for a Manchester train, comment that the rails only become live when a train is coming

I don't even know where to begin with that.

 

[LE Greys]

On a chilten train from london to birmingham a lady was ment for new street but had to change at snow hill, when the train terminated she stayed on and the gard says "have to get off now love" and she started arguing saying shes for new street and said that the guy at marylebon said she was on the train for birmingham, what was unbelievable was that she started knocking on the cab insisting that he drives to new street. BTP then turfed her off the station.

Makes me think of the people who climb onto the footplates at Didcot and ask:
"Where's the steering wheel?"

I usually get down and point to the leading bogie.

 

[Bittern]

A passenger whining about why his train was cancelled. He said he asked what was going on and the reply was that the driver that was supposed to take over the service was unavailable. When he enquired bout why the driver who brought the train in can't take it back out again he was told that the driver didn't know the route.

"Are you kidding? Just follow the tracks."

 

[strange6]

I don't even know where to begin with that.

It's true. I think they were discussing about people walking on or touching the rails (this is Non-electric country by the way)

 

[mumrar]

Where can I start. I had a passenger miss Gloucester this week. We arrived 5 minutes before departure time, I announced on approach and welcomed others aboard prior to departure.

Had a young lady wanting a ticket from x to y, her friend says "Have you found your Y-P?" And she answers "No" and then turns to me and says "Can I have a child single?" My response was a polite "No you cannot".

I've had someone knock my cab door, shouting (I checked the spy hole first) and when I opened the door he said "Is it really necessarry to go this fast? It doesn't feel at all safe". After a quick brain scan (maing sure not to offend) "It is necessarry to keep up with our schedule and as regards safety, we ask Network Rail, HMRI and rolling stock engineers what speeds are safe, not fare paying customers."

Last week I had a young lady adamant her bag and laptop had been stolen, when in reality we had changed direction at Derby and she was still walking forwards from the toilet, despite her seat now being backwards from there.

 

[Geezertronic]

I overheard a couple of CHAV's at Wigan Wallgate, waiting for a Manchester train, comment that the rails only become live when a train is coming

I don't even know where to begin with that.

Didn't you both know, that's why the rails start buzzing when a train is approaching Or that is what I would have said if I have overheard that conversation

 

[umontu]

It's true. I think they were discussing about people walking on or touching the rails (this is Non-electric country by the way)

When I read you first post I did think to check that.

A passenger whining about why his train was cancelled. He said he asked what was going on and the reply was that the driver that was supposed to take over the service was unavailable. When he enquired bout why the driver who brought the train in can't take it back out again he was told that the driver didn't know the route.

"Are you kidding? Just follow the tracks."

Let's be fair someone who knows nothing about the railways would question that, question is how do you reply to that without getting a huge wall of "BLOODY HEALTH AND SAFETY NANNY STATE! and so on" ? (we get similar things at my workplace... usual response is just to say it's the law and you have to follow it.)

 

[sutty]

The ultimate in stupidity. Sat right now delayed at Tyseley and some prat hung his feet over the edge of platform two. 10 seconds later an announcement that the next train on p2 does not stop here.

Cue the singing rails and to my left a Chiltern 168 thundering down. I shouted to him to get his feet up as the train was at the other end of the platform.

Fair play to the driver who spotted him and leant on the horn until the idiot was standing nearly on platform one.

As the train passed through he just looked at me and said "f***ing hell man. No need to yell at me"
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
The ultimate in stupidity. Sat right now delayed at Tyseley and some prat hung his feet over the edge of platform two. 10 seconds later an announcement that the next train on p2 does not stop here.

Cue the singing rails and to my left a Chiltern 168 thundering down. I shouted to him to get his feet up as the train was at the other end of the platform.

Fair play to the driver who spotted him and leant on the horn until the idiot was standing nearly on platform one.

As the train passed through he just looked at me and said "f***ing hell man. No need to yell at me"

I wonder now why I warned him. That's a darwin award waiting to happen!

I've tweeted London Midland advising them to install more benches for when delays happen.

 

[Busterfridge]

Originally Posted by strange6
I overheard a couple of CHAV's at Wigan Wallgate, waiting for a Manchester train, comment that the rails only become live when a train is coming

Thats just class !!

 

[t o m]

Last week I was waiting for a train and it was a HST that pulled in. There were two other passangers in front of me waiting to board. I saw the light come on and heard the doors unlock and the two other passangers just stood there staring at the door. I stepped forward and opened the door. By the look on their faces it was much to their amazement!

 

[The Barlow Boy]

A. "Do you work here."

B. *Puts ticket machine and green flag down*
"No."

The correct answer is, "no. I come here, they pay me, I don't work".

 

[umontu]

Last week I was waiting for a train and it was a HST that pulled in. There were two other passangers in front of me waiting to board. I saw the light come on and heard the doors unlock and the two other passangers just stood there staring at the door. I stepped forward and opened the door. By the look on their faces it was much to their amazement!

A guy did that on the Penistone line ther other day, I had to open the door for him, he looked amazed too, surely if he lived at Lockwood he must have used a class 144 before....

 

[ATW Alex 101]

I was at retford yesterday and I come from chester and I was going to leeds so I went via sheffield and retford. While on the high level an american bloke who ot on at retford too sat with us and says he has an interest in pacers and has freinds in retford who says that pacer pass through there, anyway we filled him with all we know about pacers and how they look he then said out of the blue, when we we were by doncaster on the 225 he said "these pacers seem pretty comfortable...

I was on a train once from Norwich to liverpool and the ticket collector didnt come out till we were at Dore, anyway some thai chavs who were sitting on the table next to us were actually meant for [I London Liverpol street[/I] not liverpool lime street, so the ticket collecter came to us at oxford road then turfed them off there! what amazes me is that its the forien people who get it wrong(obviousley dont know england) and how these people who were going to London managed to get all the way to Manchester oxford road lol

Ive had several people at London stations asking me if this is the tube when on the national rail platform. a funny one was at Liverpool street when A lady pointed to a class 90 mk3 set and asked if it was central line. so we showed her down to the tube station and she managed then to snap her oyster card she had just bought by trying to shove it through the ticket reader!

 

[ainsworth74]

I think it's fair enough that someone might be confused by slamdoor stock as the only examples of it (at least in the North) are HSTs and if you don't catch EC trains very often then your not that likely to come across them (as XC's are few and far between).

However not knowing that you need to push a button to open the doors that's pretty dense. I was once on a 158 arriving into Hull, it was fairly busy and I was about the third person in the queue for the door. We stop, I hear the doors being released by the guard and the two people in front of me don't do anything. I stood there for about 5 seconds before realising they weren't going to open the doors themselves before I leaned in and did it for them. Cue embarrassed looks from them and annoyed glances from everyone behind them!

 

[jon0844]

I've had a lot of people (particularly in the last few months) stand on a train right by the open/close buttons and do nothing. I swear they're actually looking at the buttons.

It's bloody embarrassing having to say 'you need to press that' or lean forward to do it, as you expect them to say 'I know, I was just...' and then give some reason that makes you feel stupid. Of course, so far, it's just them being stupid!

It would be even worse not to say anything and be on a train where the driver is stopping at the station for about 3 seconds before closing the doors again, leaving you stuck for another stop!

 

[umontu]

I've had a lot of people in the last few months stand on a train right by the open/close buttons and do nothing. I swear they're actually looking at the buttons.

It's bloody embarrassing having to say 'you need to press that' or lean forward to do it, as you expect them to say 'I know, I was just...' and then give some reason that makes you feel stupid. Of course, so far, it's just them being stupid!

Having never been on a slamdoor train when I suspected I was going to be on a 125 I did have to think how do you open the doors... That's a bad one from me.

 

[Welshman]

Having never been on a slamdoor train when I suspected I was going to be on a 125 I did have to think how do you open the doors... That's a bad one from me.

Having been brought up in the days when you lowered the window with the leather strap, then leaned out and opened the door with the outside handle, it does seem a bit strange to me when people just stare at the door and expect it to open itself

 

[Eng274]

I must confess I've never been lucky enough to be right at the door when approaching a station on a HST for a long time. When i did a few weeks back, the first dim question was: "Where's the handle?" then it dawned on me i needed to open it from the outside luckily it wasn't a busy train..

 

[LE Greys]

Having been brought up in the days when you lowered the window with the leather strap, then leaned out and opened the door with the outside handle, it does seem a bit strange to me when people just stare at the door and expect it to open itself

I once had a horrifying experience when leaning on the wrong part of a door on a 4-CIG. Honestly had no idea they didn't have central locking. Fortunately, it opened forwards rather than backwards, otherwise I would have been in Charlie Chaplain train chase territory. hock:

 

[45104]

an anecdote from an old friend that always makes me chuckle.....

he's travelling on the east coast somewhere, taking down numbers, when the lady opposite asks him " are you a real trainspotter ? " to which he replies " are you a real old bag !! "............

 

[SS4]

Having been brought up in the days when you lowered the window with the leather strap, then leaned out and opened the door with the outside handle, it does seem a bit strange to me when people just stare at the door and expect it to open itself

My brother told me about some bloke who did that and ended up missing his stop! It was on a LM from Euston to Northampton (a class 350?) I think it was at Leighton Buzzard.

Most of the ones I've heard are ordinary such as "Does this train go to Wolverhampton?" when the doors say Wolverhampton, the platform boards say Wolverhampton, the departure boards say Wolverhampton and the PA says Wolverhampton.

 

[me123]

I heard a fantastic, not even railway related, one today heard on the new Airdrie-Bathgate line. He started going on about this to his companion at each and every station, where the car parks were all less than half empty.

"Look at all these parking spaces not being used, and you can't even get a space at Airdrie! You know what they should have done? They should have built them over in Airdrie instead..."

Total misunderstanding of what building a parking space involves. It's not something you can just lower into position, you actually need space to do it. And, as you can see, space is at a premium in Airdrie.

 

[43167]

Its probably come up already, but the one I see most with disbelief is normals trying to force open the door on a HST despite the CDL not been released. Its only been fitted since 1994.

 

[YorkshireBear]

Got on a XC to bristol other week. A woman was in my seat. I said excuse me but your in my seat. She instantly goes off on one. I have paid for this seat from newcastle to sheffield how dare you!!!
I stopped a second and kindly pointed out that we had just left sheffield and were currently speeding south to chesterfield. It was a perfect moment as the entire carriage who had turned round to see who she was shouting at watched her just realise.
Oops.

 

[Tringonometry]

^^^ Now that I like!

 

[HST Power]

Got on a XC to bristol other week. A woman was in my seat. I said excuse me but your in my seat. She instantly goes off on one. I have paid for this seat from newcastle to sheffield how dare you!!!
I stopped a second and kindly pointed out that we had just left sheffield and were currently speeding south to chesterfield. It was a perfect moment as the entire carriage who had turned round to see who she was shouting at watched her just realise.
Oops.

That's the funniest thing I have seen yet on the forum!!! Yet it's so easy to do, isn't it? I've missed my stop at least twice before! (thankfully, I only use FCC services that call at all stations!)

 

[YorkshireBear]

That's the funniest thing I have seen yet on the forum!!! Yet it's so easy to do, isn't it? I've missed my stop at least twice before! (thankfully, I only use FCC services that call at all stations!)

i regularly jolt awake at or just before the station... very lucky.

Although once i got confused and paniced id missed my stop (heading leeds plymouth) and i suddenyl thought we were in cornwall. I forgot train terminated at plymouth there was no need to panic.

 

[rmt-driver]

I had to do a WDM once due to points failure, as I changed ends walking through the train, I was telling people "sorry everyone were going back to Paddington, the points ahead have failed" .. this american tourist said OK and started gathering his luggage up and following me towards the back of the train, I thought it was a bit strange, then he said "I hope its not far to walk my case is really heavy" .. I said " oh is it, I tell you what sir in that case, I will drive us there instead, you take a seat and relax!"

I was once asked when there was a station grades strike, as I stood alongside the train, in full uniform, about to depart... "hey, why are you on strike again today?" ...

Another common one is passenger: "Victoria (points to train/cab)?" me: "no its her day off"

Passenger (on arriving at terminus): "hey, where do I have to touch my thing if I'm getting the Woking train?" me: "id advise you wait until your home sir or the BTP may be called"