Top Headlines of 2006

[David]

These are all real....

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[hmm!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Do they ever read what they write?]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police
Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that sign right?

 

[Coxster]

Cheers for those David Is there a website that has those supposed complaints to the council on it? They're always good for a laugh.

 

[David]

Hang on. I think I know where they are. I'll see if I can dig them up....

EDIT - Found 'em 8)

 

[Daniel]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police
Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Wow, where's Enfield?

Wait a minute, I live in Enfield!


Eeeeek!

I didn't do it...


And that headline actually sounds like its from the Enfield Independent... they frequently c*ck up with headlines.

 

[Dennis]

My sides are hurting after reading that lot...favourite has to be

17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus in it.

 

[DJC_158]

hahaha-
yeah seen that website before some really funny complaints there.

 

[Coxster]

Hang on. I think I know where they are. I'll see if I can dig them up....

EDIT - Found 'em 8)

Cheers for finding them David There's a few more here.

"...that is his excuse for dogs mess that I find hard to swallow."

"The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous."

"I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence."

 

[Guinness]

Good find