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Trivia: Place names where ALL the vowels are "wrong"

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rower40

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Alfreton. Three syllables; the first one is "oll" (the vowel sound from "doll"); the second one is "frit" (short 'i'), and the third one is "un" - rhymes with "gun". So Alfreton should be spelt "Olfritun". Any other contenders for a similar vowel shift?
 
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zwk500

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You're going to get into some controversial discussions re pronunciation and regional variations.

However I'd submit (by your criteria) Lewes - Pronounced Loo-iss.
 

Western Sunset

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Another from Derbyshire and where I was brought up; Alvaston. Pronounced Olvistun. Maybe this is all a Derbyshire thing. Ey up me duck...
 

LNW-GW Joint

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Another from Derbyshire and where I was brought up; Alvaston. Pronounced Olvistun. Maybe this is all a Derbyshire thing. Ey up me duck...
Alsager at the other end of the line to Crewe - Orlsajer.
That's also about the western end of the "duck" dialect, before it becomes the north-west "love".
Congleton is a duck town too, but I don't think Crewe is.
 

eastwestdivide

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Wrong? There’s only 5 letters designated as vowels (or 6 if you include Y), and substantially more vowel sounds in standard English, let alone the myriad variations.
 

Calthrop

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Wrong? There’s only 5 letters designated as vowels (or 6 if you include Y), and substantially more vowel sounds in standard English, let alone the myriad variations.

Amen ! If you want phonetic, use the International Phonetic Alphabet.
 

snowball

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Slaithwaite.

Room for much argument about the pronunciation but I think the usual is something like Slough-it where Slough is pronounced as in "Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough".

Isn't Salop more the Latin name of Shropshire rather than Shrewsbury? At one time the county council officially called itself Salop County Council.
 

61653 HTAFC

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Slaithwaite.

Room for much argument about the pronunciation but I think the usual is something like Slough-it where Slough is pronounced as in "Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough".
"Slawit" is a bit of a recent contrivance. "Slathwit" (with the first syllable rhyming with "path" (or "bath" if you aren't posh) is just as acceptable locally. Though the final "t" should really be a glottal stop.
 

duncanp

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Borough Green & Wrotham

The underlined word is pronounced "rootum"
 

duncanp

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Southwark station (Jubilee Line)

pronounced Suthook (with a hard 'th' as in "the", rather than a soft 'th' as in "cloth")
 

Calthrop

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Olveston and Alveston, both north of Bristol, are often confused, and this isn't helped by them only being 2.5 miles apart.

I had relatives in that part of the world -- from whom I gathered that local folk pronounced those village names "Oolveston" and "Olveston", respectively. If it's wished for things to work better, with what we may have -- the English alphabet, for sure, hasn't got enough vowels !
 

PGAT

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Glynde. I'm not even sure how to explain its pronunciation in words
 

zwk500

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Glynde. I'm not even sure how to explain its pronunciation in words
Blind but with a G. the 'e' is performing a slightly different function (or archaic, if you prefer) and so you can't really say it's wrong as it's totally unvoiced.
 

Wolfie

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Slaithwaite.

Room for much argument about the pronunciation but I think the usual is something like Slough-it where Slough is pronounced as in "Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough".

Isn't Salop more the Latin name of Shropshire rather than Shrewsbury? At one time the county council officially called itself Salop County Council.
Re your last para it wasn't the County Council unilaterally deciding to call itself Salop. There was a cock-up in drafting the legislation for local government reorganisation in the 1970s. The abbreviation was used in the text of the primary legislation so actually legally became the county name. Further legislative action in Parliament some years later was necessary to undo that.

I am a Salopian.
 

snowball

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Re your last para it wasn't the County Council unilaterally deciding to call itself Salop. There was a cock-up in drafting the legislation for local government reorganisation in the 1970s. The abbreviation was used in the text of the primary legislation so actually legally became the county name. Further legislative action in Parliament some years later was necessary to undo that.

I am a Salopian.
According to Wikipedia, which of course may be wrong, Salop County Council was its name from 1888.
 

LNW-GW Joint

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Caldercruix is an odd one in Scotland (new-ish station on the Airdrie-Bathgate line).

Two places near me which give "foreigners" trouble are Wythenshawe and Daresbury.
The former is pronounced with the y as an i, and the latter as Dar-sbury, not as (Dan) Dare-sbury.

Then there's the host of Welsh places with mangled English names.
One I like is Ponciau near Ruabon, English Ponkey.
Pontsticill (summit of the Brecon & Merthyr) is one that English speakers never get right.
Welsh vowels follow different rules to English.

And where did names like Toxteth and Croxteth come from in Liverpool, difficult to pronounced even if the vowels aren't the problem.
I'm reminded that David Vine would use a term like "the big Swede" when he couldn't cope with a player's name.

On my one and only railway job as a student, I had a few days training on issuing tickets from a spelling-challenged guy.
Some tickets had to be hand-written and he issued tickets to "Hollyhead" and "Windowmere".

I once found myself in west London and asked for a ticket to Gunnersbury.
The clerk eventually realized I wanted a ticket to "Gannesbry".
 
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