Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Gloster]

Although a good thing to have came from that was it also catapulted the TV presenter Bill Grundy to fame (even though most of the UK population had never heard of him, and he was also a drunken pervert). Grundy was never heard of again since after that famous interview, and is a case of 'Where is he now"?

In a curious piece of serendipity I looked up what Bill Grundy was doing, to which the answer is: dead since 1993. More curiously, I found that he was the producer of a children’s TV programme about taking a narrow boat from North Wales to London that has always stuck in my mind, but I had never been able to trace. And it’s name, which I had completely forgotten: The Flower of Gloster.

 

[dgl]

Well, thanks for reminding me of that... that's my afternoon ruined!

In fact that's something that should definitely be banned- Eurodance and Happy Hardcore, along with pubs that play said music at full blast during the daytime!

Errm, No!
Take a band like Scooter, probably more talent than a lot of acts (and 99% of any thing modern), try mastering/using the studio in the attached videoclip with no talent!
Better than the overproduced modern pop that only requires you, unfortunately, to look nice for the camera, the talent can be added by Antares or Melodyne!

 

[Intercity 225]

Picnics - literally the worst way to dine.

I’ve nothing against eating al fresco at a restaurant/pub etc or at home/somebody else’s home but picnics are an abomination.

In theory, there is nothing to dislike about taking a selection of your favourite food and drink to a beauty spot to enjoy outdoors on a nice day.

In reality, it’s a very different experience.

Firstly, you’ve got to transport all the food/drink there - this is usually performed using a hideous garish cool box that immediately spoils the view.

Secondly, all the food/drink is ruined upon arrival. Everything that should be hot is lukewarm at best and everything that should be cold is slightly warm. I don’t want to drink a warm beer or lemonade or bottle of water. Neither do I want a cup of tea/coffee that’s almost cold. The only thing usually drinkable at a picnic is red wine… which is no good if you’re driving.

The food is also ruined - flattened sandwiches, quiche with the pastry all broken, warm cheese, crisps that have been smashed into tiny fragments… I could go on but think I’ve made my point.

Thirdly, you have to wage war against nature. Wasps, bluebottles, ants, you name it, it wants what you’re “enjoying” and will sting, buzz, bite and do whatever it can to get it.

Finally, after the absolute nightmare is over and you’re back home you have to unpack and wash up… when all you actually want is therapy.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Errm, No!
Take a band like Scooter, probably more talent than a lot of acts (and 99% of any thing modern), try mastering/using the studio in the attached videoclip with no talent!
Better than the overproduced modern pop that only requires you, unfortunately, to look nice for the camera, the talent can be added by Antares or Melodyne!

Scooter are a weird one. I always thought of them as a bit of a novelty act but it seems that people into the dance scene give them a lot of respect. I don’t know enough about it to know if they deserve it, but I know that there's more to electronic music than programming a synth and pressing a few buttons- so I'll bow to those that know more.
The Scooter songs I've heard didn't do all that much for me, but that's OK, each to their own. There's stuff I listen to that most people would dislike, that's probably the case for most people. If everything in your music library could be played in Starbucks, then you probably have really boring tastes!

 

[Bevan Price]

Indeed.

A punk friend I knew at Uni who despised the Sex Pistols used to delight in pointing out that since Lydon and Sid Vicious were offered their slots in the band purely on the basis of their appearance and personality, they were in fact nothing more than a (sweary) boy band.

And punk music was not invented by the Sex Pistols and other mid 1970s bands. It was a rediscovery of what was done in USA in the mid to late 1960s and early 1970s, by kids playing in their garages and wanting to be "the next Beatles / Stones, etc.", with MC5 & Blue Cheer amongst the better known examples.

 

[Cambus731]

people who say "the other half"
that should be punishable by six months living in Stevenage

 

[43021HST]

People who use upspeak or upward inflections, drives me absolutely bonkers,
as though they're from the San Fernando valley, rather than say Swindon.

 

[Spamcan81]

Celery
Arsenal FC
Men with pony tails - of any length - especially when they are otherwise bald.
Drew Pritchard
The Scouse accent

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Celery
Arsenal FC
Men with pony tails - of any length - especially when they are otherwise bald.
Drew Pritchard
The Scouse accent

What's wrong with celery?

 

[xotGD]

The old trailers that have been turned into advertising billboards in fields by the motorway.

People saying 'arks' instead of 'ask'.

Taps that are impossible to turn on with soapy hands.

The term 'petrol head'.

The use of the term 'students' for school children.

Plastic lawns.

Space exploration - it isn't ours, so leave it alone. Landing a probe on an asteroid is not a scientific achievement, it is littering. No better than dumping an old car in a field.

And a railway one: Describing HST power cars as 'Class 43s' or 'Class 43 locomotives'. Do they look like Warships?

Men with pony tails - of any length - especially when they are otherwise bald.

I saw someone with a ponytail in their beard the other day. Very weird.

 

[ABB125]

Drew Pritchard

What's wrong with him? Admittedly I only recently found out he existed when my dad discovered the Quest TV channel last year, where he was in just about every other program!
Actually, one thing does annoy me: in whichever program it is where he goes round buying antiques, there's always the same man with him driving the van who is hardly ever mentioned. Why can't Drew drive the van? I think this is annoying, only because I don't know the answer.

The Scouse accent

100% agree!

 

[johnnychips]

People who confuse ‘lose’ and ‘loose’

Computer programs who think I should be ‘traveling’ or ‘canceling’.

Flemings who don’t visit Wallonia, and Wallonians who don’t visit Flanders, yet criticise it.

 

[Spamcan81]

The term "Craft Beer" for overpriced keg.

+1 Especially those with bizarre ingredients like the cucumber and mint one I saw the other day.

What's wrong with him? Admittedly I only recently found out he existed when my dad discovered the Quest TV channel last year, where he was in just about every other program!
Actually, one thing does annoy me: in whichever program it is where he goes round buying antiques, there's always the same man with him driving the van who is hardly ever mentioned. Why can't Drew drive the van? I think this is annoying, only because I don't know the answer.

100% agree!

His smug, supercilious attitude for starters.

Goatee beards. Could they be taxed?

Possibly and then the wearer deported to South Georgia.

 

[py_megapixel]

+1 Especially those with bizarre ingredients like the cucumber and mint one I saw the other day.

In Germany it would be illegal to sell beer containing cucumber or mint, and still call it beer

Reinheitsgebot - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Spamcan81]

Politicians who haven’t previously had a normal job

Corrected that for you.

In Germany it would be illegal to sell beer containing cucumber or mint, and still call it beer

Reinheitsgebot - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

and that's why I just love Germany.

But how else are you meant to hold up traffic for no good reason?

Buy a tractor.

 

[johnnychips]

Bloody Hell! I thought Drew Pritchard was a really nice, restrained man. Haven’t you seen all those American programmes where they open abandoned storage containers. That’s gross, and fixed apparently. Though I still watch them.

 

[Bevan Price]

Yes - space travel may seem unnecessary now, especially ego trips by multi-billionaires.
But -- our successors will need space travel in a few billion years. They will need to find ways to travel faster with journeys probably lasting thousands of years. Otherwise, they will get fried when the sun starts to expire -- and gets bigger and hotter and hotter. They will need to search space for a cooler home with an atmosphere containing oxygen & water, and that will take a long time.

 

[Spamcan81]

I’d just ban Costa, full stop. The coffee is vile. Starbucks may be unethical but their espresso is good, though of the big chains I think Cafe Nero is now best overall

I'd ban coffee shops full stop.

I am not sure if I would ban the top-knot hair style, but if only people would realise how stupid it looks it might well disappear. Going around with what appears to be a potato balanced on your head is not stylish.

Ah, the ****not as I've heard it called.

What's wrong with celery?

It's bloody awful that's what.

 

[dgl]

And punk music was not invented by the Sex Pistols and other mid 1970s bands. It was a rediscovery of what was done in USA in the mid to late 1960s and early 1970s, by kids playing in their garages and wanting to be "the next Beatles / Stones, etc.", with MC5 & Blue Cheer amongst the better known examples.

And it could be argued that bands like Kraftwerk were more punk that actual punk rockers by completely going against the music scene.

 

[Westcountryman]

People who use upspeak or upward inflections, drives me absolutely bonkers,
as though they're from the San Fernando valley, rather than say Swindon.

I thought upspeakears were more likely from Ramsey Street or Summer bay. Perhaps the current lower incidence of upspeak is because of far less exposure to Australian soaps.

 

[superjohn]

And it could be argued that bands like Kraftwerk were more punk that actual punk rockers by completely going against the music scene.

Kraftwerk have stated their intention was to create pop music that sounded German. In their youth the German pop scene was either British/American bands or native bands trying to sound like them, there was very little truly German music. To that end they built instruments and equipment that enabled them to create the sound they wanted. About as true to the DIY punk ethos as you can get.

The Sex Pistols were 100% manufactured, years before we used that term.

 

[HST274]

Celery

Celery is bad

 

[py_megapixel]

I would ban people who think that having friends of the opposite gender (or a romantic partner of the same gender) is somehow not acceptable.

 

[nw1]

Indeed.

A punk friend I knew at Uni who despised the Sex Pistols used to delight in pointing out that since Lydon and Sid Vicious were offered their slots in the band purely on the basis of their appearance and personality, they were in fact nothing more than a (sweary) boy band.

Despite the fact that I dislike his politics, I do think Lydon is more intelligent than that.
He then formed PiL and wrote some interesting-sounding lyrics, though I have to admit that I do not fully understand what they mean.

In 1990 they did the ecologically-themed "Don't Ask Me" which seemed to be a high point in his political stance. He seems to have gone downhill a lot in that respect in the past 5 years. Then again, perhaps 1989/90 was a high point in the political stance of much of the world... (Berlin wall falling, Nelson Mandela released, concern about ecological issues, rejection of Thatcherism, etc...)

Morrissey is another odd mix of left and right when it comes to politics. Anti-Thatcher, anti-Trump, pro-animal-rights... but stridently pro-Brexit, may have an affinity with English nationalism, and has been accused of racism by some.

Ann Lee Rimes I believe you're thinking of, and I've got to go find it now...

Well I was wrong, where the Rimes bit came from in my memory banks I don't know, but YouTube has it:

Now I be off to play it First time I've actually watched that throughout, what a strange video

Yes, that's the one. Definitely not LeAnn Rimes, who I also remember.

 

[superjohn]

Getting back to things I would ban:
Cars with manual transmission!
I’ve just had a manual courtesy car for a day and I am baffled as to who is buying these things. I know they can be slightly cheaper but for someone contemplating the large expense of a brand new car it isn’t that much of a difference and the running costs are as near as identical these days. Why wouldn’t you buy something that is so much easier to drive? Automatic is safer too, far less distraction and need to remove hands from the wheel.

I can see a control freak element creeping in, “I won’t be told when to change gear!”, but that is a really silly way to rationalise the decision.

With the move to electric vehicles we are slowly moving that way anyway, slowly though.

 

[ABB125]

Getting back to things I would ban:
Cars with manual transmission!
I’ve just had a manual courtesy car for a day and I am baffled as to who is buying these things. I know they can be slightly cheaper but for someone contemplating the large expense of a brand new car it isn’t that much of a difference and the running costs are as near as identical these days. Why wouldn’t you buy something that is so much easier to drive? Automatic is safer too, far less distraction and need to remove hands from the wheel.

I can see a control freak element creeping in, “I won’t be told when to change gear!”, but that is a really silly way to rationalise the decision.

With the move to electric vehicles we are slowly moving that way anyway, slowly though.

Cars with an automatic transmission. More versatile, can be told to do exactly what you want when necessary, not what it thinks is best.
Though I agree that manuals will slowly die out (unfortunately!).

 

[py_megapixel]

Cars with an automatic transmission. More versatile, can be told to do exactly what you want when necessary, not what it thinks is best.

But when a computer can do a task just as efficiently as a human, what is the point in a human doing it?

 

[75A]

I have 2 automatics - a Range Rover & a Mondeo both have the option to switch to Manual, I've never done it in either, why would you?

 

[py_megapixel]

I have 2 automatics - a Range Rover & a Mondeo both have the option to switch to Manual, I've never done it in either, why would you?

Why would you what - buy a Range Rover? Excellent question

 

[75A]

Why would you what - buy a Range Rover? Excellent question

Living in rural Leicester some sort of 4x4 is a good idea, one that's higher than the hedgerows is even better