Best (aka funniest) Menu Descriptions

[MotCO]

Reading through the menu for our local Indian restaurant, I was struck by the following descriptions of dishes:

Achari Chilli - One of the most requested dishes of 2015 (it is now 2023!) and continued. (AKA Dish of the day)!Cutlets marinated in spices, herbs & yoghurt and then grilled in the clay oven & subsequently stir fried with fresh diced onions and peppers, green chillies, Bay leaf also pickled mango, carrot, Lime, Red Chilli, Fenugreek, Fennel, Aniseed, Cumin Seed and Onion Seed

Sylhet Lamb - Lamb is prepared using a rich tomato puree sauce, resulting in a strong and gusty dish with lots of flavour. Originates from our home town of Sylhet, Bangladesh.

What are your favourite / funniest descriptions of dishes (probably wise not to name the restaurant!)

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Several years ago I went to an Italian restaurant in Huddersfield called Il Gatto Nero, the dessert menu had an amusing error as they offered a "Stiffy Toffee Pudding"... which was both unappetising by the sound of it, and not particularly Italian!

I'm okay naming the restaurant, as it changed name and ownership some years back.

(Edited to correct a missed auto-uncorrect)

 

[D6130]

"Stiffy Toffee Pudding"... which was both unappetising by the sound of it, and not particularly Italian!

Marginally more appetising than Viagra I would imagine!

 

[pdq]

They offered a "Stiffy Toffee Pudding"... which was both unappetising by the sound of it

The spreadsheet for us to choose our Christmas do menu had 'sicky toffee pudding' as one of the choices...

 

[Purple Train]

Several years ago I went to an Italian restaurant in Huddersfield called Il Gatto Nero, the desert menu had an amusing error as they offered a "Stiffy Toffee Pudding"... which was both unappetising by the sound of it, and not particularly Italian!

Intentional?

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Intentional?

Sadly not. I usually catch autocorrects such as that... oh, the shame!

 

[Purple Train]

Sadly not. I usually catch autocorrects such as that... oh, the shame!

It happens to all of us. Mine also likes playing bricks.

 

[172007]

Wreckfish on a menu makes me laugh. Just immagine it being the nautical version of roadkill.

 

[ComUtoR]

Puccinos have 'stupid little biscuits'

 

[eastwestdivide]

Saw Puccini mushrooms (instead of porcini) on a menu once.

 

[Shimbleshanks]

An Indian I used to patronise in the 1980s (Khan's in Bayswater, I think) described Bhindi Bhaji (Ladyfingers) as: 'A very well known dish' - and left it at that. Perhaps there was nothing more to say, it was one of their blander creations as I remember.

 

[D6130]

Sadly not. I usually catch autocorrects such as that... oh, the shame!

Perhaps the 'Stiffy Toffee Pudding' was so-called because it was 'stiffened' by desert sand in the mix!!!!

 

[ABB125]

There's a long-running joke about the local Indian restaurant in my University area (ghetto!), where "meat" curries are more expensive than "chicken" curries. We have no idea what meat "meat" is...

 

[jumble]

There's a long-running joke about the local Indian restaurant in my University area (ghetto!), where "meat" curries are more expensive than "chicken" curries. We have no idea what meat "meat" is...

I hope the Gatto Nero in the oP above did not live up to what its name might be suggesting it serves

 

[Doctor Fegg]

About 10 years ago we moored up at a pub on the River Severn which offered “Cheese & Bacon Pennine”, “Salami & Mozzarella Pennine”, etc.

After a few minutes’ head-scratching we realised they meant “panini”.

 

[52290]

About 10 years ago we moored up at a pub on the River Severn which offered “Cheese & Bacon Pennine”, “Salami & Mozzarella Pennine”, etc.

After a few minutes’ head-scratching we realised they meant “panini”.

Although if you take the in out of pennine you are left with penne, the pasta tubes.

 

[Calthrop]

About 10 years ago we moored up at a pub on the River Severn which offered “Cheese & Bacon Pennine”, “Salami & Mozzarella Pennine”, etc.

After a few minutes’ head-scratching we realised they meant “panini”.

My bolding -- would that not be, more appropriately, "Appennine"?

(I'll get my coat, as they say.)

 

[EdinRH]

At a chip shop in Glasgow.

Traditional Supper & Drink

Choose from: Sausage, Hamburger, Black Pudding, Haggis, Steak Pie, Mice Pie, Smoked Sausage, King Rib, Half Pizza or Half Pizza Crunch.

For the benefit of any non-Scottish readers a supper means the item in question served with chips, a mince pie (presumably what was meant) is a pastry case with minced meat (traditionally mutton) and not a Christmas mince pie, and pizza crunch is pizza coated in batter and deep fried.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

There's a long-running joke about the local Indian restaurant in my University area (ghetto!), where "meat" curries are more expensive than "chicken" curries. We have no idea what meat "meat" is...

Generally it's lamb or mutton. Not sure why many Indian restaurants translate sheep-meat as "meat" though, and it does raise eyebrows!

 

[Calthrop]

Generally it's lamb or mutton. Not sure why many Indian restaurants translate sheep-meat as "meat" though, and it does raise eyebrows!

Vague-ish musings (possibly, talking out of back of neck) on the matter, from stuff which I think I may have heard / read -- re Indian sub-continent and folk hailing therefrom, "mammal meat" is, overwhelmingly, from sheep (or goats -- fairly interchangeable "out there", but goat meat is rare and seldom seen in Britain). The "sub-continent" tends not to "do" beef much: with Hindu veneration of the animal concerned, and seemingly little use of beef by Muslims either; and, "t'other way about", very little culinary use of pig meat -- forbidden to Muslims but not, as such, to Hindus -- the pig is just not much on the domestic-animal scene in those parts. The only Indian cuisine substantially featuring pork, is that of Goa -- very many folk there being Catholic from way back, with the several centuries of Portuguese rule: pigs and pork thus, in Goa, traditionally OK.

 

[Shimbleshanks]

Many years ago, a caff in High Wycombe that I used to pass on the way to the office had a board outside proclaiming: "Today's Special: Sausage, chips and beans." Perhaps that was considered exotic in 1990s Bucks....

 

[Strat-tastic]

Perhaps if they'd put an egg with it

 

[edwin_m]

I used to see a sign outside a pub saying "food served here everyday". On sampling it, that proved to be an accurate description.

 

[Ediswan]

Not so much funny as not thought through. 1980s student union burger bar decided to support the anti-apartheid movement with the 'Biko Burger'. The name was soon changed.

 

[LUYMun]

There's a long-running joke about the local Indian restaurant in my University area (ghetto!), where "meat" curries are more expensive than "chicken" curries. We have no idea what meat "meat" is...

You don't reckon Hilary Briss would be behind this mystery?

 

[Blindtraveler]

Staying in a hotel that was not offering food just towards the tail end of coronavirus restrictions and so made the inevitable visit to just eat in search of a local delivery. One Chinese takeaway announced proudly that all ingredients had been passed by the management. I swiftly moved on as it didn't appeal

 

[Calthrop]

One from fiction -- though likely, one reckons, taken from real-life experience on the author's part. Comes in a thriller by Val McDermid, which includes doings in St. Petersburg in the early 2000s. The characters eat at a restaurant specialising in the cuisine of Russia's neighbour Georgia; including a dish called in the English-language section of the menu, "meat drunk on the plate". The novel tells of it as it as beef steak smothered in diced vegetables with a cream sauce; one character -- who has chosen something else -- is moved by the dish's appearance plus its menu description, to remark on the raising of associations concerning throwing-up. An item of conversation not appreciated by the character who has chosen the steak offering...

 

[3141]

Who remembers carbon paper? It was a thin sheet with an even thinner layer of carbon on the back. When you wanted to make copies of something you put a piece of carbon paper between the top sheet of paper, on which you were writing or typing, and each subsequent sheet on which you wanted to create a copy. You might get about four legible copies. Carbon paper became redundant with the arrival of photocopiers and printers connected to computers.

In a restaurant called Peggoty’s in Southgate in the 1960s they used carbon paper to make copies of the menu to place on each table. But if the carbon paper slipped a letter written on the top sheet might not get copied onto the ones beneath.

Thus Pears and cream for dessert came out as ears and cream.

In Paris, a restaurant offered the menu in French and then in a translation into English. Le Sauerkraut de Strasberg turned into The Sour Kraut of Strasberg.

In Athens, a restaurant offered its menu in Greek and also in English. Getting the English versions in amongst Greek was quite a challenge for anyone, especially if your English was less than perfect. There were some changes each day, so every day offered new opportunities for errors.

9owels boliled looked quite mystifying but we decided not to investigate. Glad we didn’t, because the next day it reappeared as Boiled Bowels.

 

[Calthrop]

In Paris, a restaurant offered the menu in French and then in a translation into English. Le Sauerkraut de Strasberg turned into The Sour Kraut of Strasberg.

Could that be, just perhaps, a "hang-over" from World War II? In that episode of history the Parisians -- renowned for their tendency to be curmudgeonly -- managed to judge to a nicety, just how unpleasant they could be to the occupying Germans short of its landing them in serious trouble; and acted accordingly.

 

[3141]

Could that be, just perhaps, a "hang-over" from World War II? In that episode of history the Parisians -- renowned for their tendency to be curmudgeonly -- managed to judge to a nicety, just how unpleasant they could be to the occupying Germans short of its landing them in serious trouble; and acted accordingly.

That's an interesting idea. It was in about 1975, when many Parisians would still have memories of the World War 2 occupation. But whether enough Germans would notice it and be suitably offended is perhaps questionable.