Celebrity Train/Station Announcers You'd Like to Hear

[mrcheek]

darn, all the obvious ones have already been taken.

So Ill go for Tom Hardy, using his masked Bane voice

 

[LOL The Irony]

The dulcet tones of Akira Ishida playing everyone's favourite gay angel. In fact, he's done it before (skip to the 2:30 mark)

Failing that, I'd go with James May.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

It's a shame Stephen Moore (Marvin the Paranoid Android) didn't voice any announcements in character before he died. He could have done the cancellation announcements. "Here am I, brain the size of a planet, and all they want me to do is tell you that the 11.04 to Shepperton has been cancelled... call that job satisfaction? Cause I don't..."

I think you might have won this thread...

I remember when the BBC for some reason decided to let Mark E Smith of The Fall do the classified football scores. If he was still around it would be quite amusing if he was doing the announcements at Manchester Victoria.

 

[Neptune]

I remember when the BBC for some reason decided to let Mark E Smith of The Fall do the classified football scores. If he was still around it would be quite amusing if he was doing the announcements at Manchester Victoria.

It was because he wrote the intro music for the classified results.

I seem to remember him buggering some of it up like saying Gillingham Town

Absolute legend of music and sadly missed.

 

[32475]

Jo Brand

 

[Mat17]

How about Arnold Schwarzenegger?

I can hear it now...

"Get to the platform!"

Not a voice to be argued with.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

How about Frank Sidebottom?

Actually on second thoughts almost everyone from Manchester sounds like that anyway, so there's no need for necromancy...

 

[Jim Jehosofat]

Richard Wilson doing his best Victor Meldrew. "The 1030 service to Woking hasbeen cancelled due to staff shortage. I don't believe it!"

 

[RobShipway]

I am going to go for someone that is not totally obvious, but I will go for Sir Tom Jones.

 

[Basil Jet]

Michael Caine for me on Southern routes (London/S.East)

You could play him saying "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off" whenever the Moorgate control kicks in.

 

[Basil Jet]

Richard Wilson doing his best Victor Meldrew. "The 1030 service to Woking hasbeen cancelled due to staff shortage. I don't believe it!"

No, you'd want Reggie Perrin for that.

 

[GusB]

If we're allowed dead people, I think Ronnie Barker would have been a good candidate.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

You'd have to persuade him to come out of retirement, but early 90s comedian Rob Newman (of Newman & Baddiel and The Mary Whitehouse Experience) would be great doing announcements... particularly in the guise of the character "Ray" who was afflicted with a rare condition giving him a sarcastic tone of voice.

 

[OhNoAPacer]

Marcel Marceau

 

[Basil Jet]

Flipper, with incredulous-sounding human translator.

 

[Purple Train]

If you needed an announcement at stations mentioning future engineering work and the need to not travel by train during it, why not use Jeremy Clarkson? "The line will be shut for engineering works between the 24th and the 27th of October, so don't travel in this scum-class box of diseases and use a car."

 

[Ivor]

Another that could work…..

Norman Wisdom.

Showing my age now

 

[Mat17]

Marcel Marceau

Love it!

 

[Ivor]

You could play him saying "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off" whenever the Moorgate control kicks in.

Was originally going to say “My name is Michael Caine” but apparently he never said it, it was Peter Sellers impersonating him.

 

[LLivery]

I always thought I'd like to hear David Attenborough announcing trains at Attenborough

 

[Basil Jet]

Was originally going to say “My name is Michael Caine” but apparently he never said it, it was Peter Sellers impersonating him.

Wikipedia says it is Michael Caine himself on the Madness record.

 

[Ivor]

Wikipedia says it is Michael Caine himself on the Madness record.

Seems to be a lot of conflicting stuff on line with him saying he never said “not a lot of people know that” so totally confused but I’d better stay on topic & not turn it into a Michael Caine thread

 

[johnnychips]

Billy Connolly would be fun

No, Rab C. Nesbitt would be better.

 

[Benters]

Ozzy Osbourne did record the passenger information announcements played on the West Midlands Metro trams a while back . I actually travelled on the tram bearing his name going from Wolverhampton to Wednesbury when I was working in the Black Country a few years ago. Meant a lot to me being a Black Sabbath fan since my youth

 

[Whistler40145]

No, Rab C. Nesbitt would be better.

Definitely

 

[Amos]

John Cooper Clarke? He could throw in a poem if your train is cancelled.

 

[Madge Wildfire]

My vote will go to Stephen Fry. I'm sure he could calm the nerves of harassed travellers.

 

[Ediswan]

John Cooper Clarke? He could throw in a poem if your train is cancelled.

I was once on a train from Norwich to Cambridge with a John Cooper Clarke sound-alike guard.

My nomination for an announcer is Noddy Holder

 

[MattRat]

Peter Capaldi (not to be confused with Lewis Capaldi). He could read a phonebook and I'd be enthralled.

Or maybe Jenna Coleman, in some terrible accent because that always makes me laugh when she puts on an accent.

 

[LOL The Irony]

Peter Capaldi (not to be confused with Lewis Capaldi). He could read a phonebook and I'd be enthralled.

They're related btw.