In all seriousness I'd say there's a pretty good case for loops and WCML platforms at Lancaster Uni (served by Northern and perhaps also TPE). A very large proportion of the demand at the "Hbf" is students and there is a lot of development (student and non) going on there at the moment.
Perhaps not Metrolink though
Of course, that is resolved by the guard using their eyes and not closing doors in peoples' faces (and by the Chester line being operated on the leaf fall timetable all year and not the ridiculously tight one it presently operates).