• Our booking engine at tickets.railforums.co.uk (powered by TrainSplit) helps support the running of the forum with every ticket purchase! Find out more and ask any questions/give us feedback in this thread!

Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

D6130

Established Member
Joined
12 Jan 2021
Messages
5,796
Location
West Yorkshire/Tuscany
English enthusiasts - including several on here (you know who you are!) who insist on referring to Fort William as 'Fort Bill'! If you cant be bothered to use the full name, please call it 'The Fort' as the locals do. Thanking you in anticipation! :D
 
Sponsor Post - registered members do not see these adverts; click here to register, or click here to log in
R

RailUK Forums

Techniquest

Veteran Member
Joined
19 Jun 2005
Messages
21,674
Location
Nowhere Heath
English enthusiasts - including several on here (you know who you are!) who insist on referring to Fort William as 'Fort Bill'! If you cant be bothered to use the full name, please call it 'The Fort' as the locals do. Thanking you in anticipation! :D

Hear hear!

One thing I see way too often lately is run-on sentences that are never...

...completed! I must confess to being no saint with that in the past, but it does rile me way more than it should!
 

Calthrop

Established Member
Joined
6 Dec 2015
Messages
3,314
English enthusiasts - including several on here (you know who you are!) who insist on referring to Fort William as 'Fort Bill'! If you cant be bothered to use the full name, please call it 'The Fort' as the locals do. Thanking you in anticipation! :D

Or -- is An Gearasdan acceptable :?:
 

Runningaround

Member
Joined
24 Mar 2022
Messages
799
The travel programs which are named after the celebrity presenter, they are invariably all about them and a bit about the trip and are usually rubbish. Michael Portillo may feature in every clip of his shows but at least he's refrained from calling it ''Portillo's Railway Journeys''. If it started with Michael Palin then they need to match his standard, not one has come close.

In the same light. ''You Tube'' travel reporters thinking they are Portillo and giving a boring long winded camera on a selfie stick dialogue. I usually use the ''ignore' or ''don't get recommended videos of this channel'' options, but once you do a clean up of browsers they return in your searches. I want too see you or what's in your gob, just stick your camera out the window and label the sights.
What happened to being shy and being very careful to avoid any shots of yourself and not speaking on camera? Seriously nobody is interested in you. Remember Portillo has a production team for support and is able to use research and vast experience of public speaking to convey himself to camera.
 

Cloud Strife

Established Member
Joined
25 Feb 2014
Messages
1,824
It was actually Gavrilo Princip of the Young Bosnia revolutionaries that started the catalyst of events when he assassinated Franz Ferdinand, when both Austria and Hungary had a spell of invading and taking over as a part of imperialism and empire building.

Indeed, we can blame Serbs for the 20th century!
 

duncanp

Established Member
Joined
16 Aug 2012
Messages
4,856
Can we ban over sensitive car alarms, that seem to go off every time a cat sneezes with 100 yards of the car.

Whoever owns the car in the supermarket car park on the other side of the street from me. whose alarm is going off every 5 minutes, I'm looking at you. <(<(
 

Purple Train

Established Member
Joined
16 Jul 2022
Messages
1,507
Location
Darkest Commuterland
The travel programs which are named after the celebrity presenter, they are invariably all about them and a bit about the trip and are usually rubbish. Michael Portillo may feature in every clip of his shows but at least he's refrained from calling it ''Portillo's Railway Journeys''. If it started with Michael Palin then they need to match his standard, not one has come close.

In the same light. ''You Tube'' travel reporters thinking they are Portillo and giving a boring long winded camera on a selfie stick dialogue. I usually use the ''ignore' or ''don't get recommended videos of this channel'' options, but once you do a clean up of browsers they return in your searches. I want too see you or what's in your gob, just stick your camera out the window and label the sights.
What happened to being shy and being very careful to avoid any shots of yourself and not speaking on camera? Seriously nobody is interested in you. Remember Portillo has a production team for support and is able to use research and vast experience of public speaking to convey himself to camera.
I agree with the first paragraph. The second, less so, as the "camera on a selfie stick dialogue", to me, gives what might be labelled an "extra dimension" (or, as I prefer to call it, a "human touch") than captions on a screen, or just a disembodied voice.
Speaking of which, I'd ban most "disembodied voice" YouTube channels, obviously with the exception of a few because I'm soft.
 

Techniquest

Veteran Member
Joined
19 Jun 2005
Messages
21,674
Location
Nowhere Heath
I'd agree that just captions wouldn't work for a lot of videos, some it does. Depends on the content really. I don't bother watching many trip report videos on YouTube these days, I used to but some of them got so filled with filler material it wasn't worth it. And maybe it's just me, but I don't really see the need for recording the toilet flush and such like. That seems like rather unnecessary footage for the sake of filling a video!
 

Runningaround

Member
Joined
24 Mar 2022
Messages
799
I'd agree that just captions wouldn't work for a lot of videos, some it does. Depends on the content really. I don't bother watching many trip report videos on YouTube these days, I used to but some of them got so filled with filler material it wasn't worth it. And maybe it's just me, but I don't really see the need for recording the toilet flush and such like. That seems like rather unnecessary footage for the sake of filling a video!
There's been a load of live airport shows, the best ones film the planes and give some info, the bad ones don't shut up about themselves.

I found that some of the more senior You Tubers used to conceal their identity probably so not to be outed as a transport spotter, or be linked to comments they've made on internet forums. So would shut up about themselves and just film the trip. Don't know if it's the you tube kids who don't care about their image as such that it's encouraged them into unmasking themselves and becoming ''Presenters'' auditioning for ''Wish you were here''.
 

61653 HTAFC

Veteran Member
Joined
18 Dec 2012
Messages
17,689
Location
Another planet...
I'd agree that just captions wouldn't work for a lot of videos, some it does. Depends on the content really. I don't bother watching many trip report videos on YouTube these days, I used to but some of them got so filled with filler material it wasn't worth it. And maybe it's just me, but I don't really see the need for recording the toilet flush and such like. That seems like rather unnecessary footage for the sake of filling a video!
When YouTube first started becoming a big player in terms of media, I hoped it would lead to a diversity of presentation techniques and styles. Unfortunately a lot of stuff is very formulaic, as you say Trip Reports are particularly bad for this. The toilet tests are quite the bugbear for me, too.

I suppose there's only so many ways you can present a trip report though. A few shots out of the window, a walk down the train, a review of the seats... doesn't really make a difference what order you put them in.
 

Howardh

Established Member
Joined
17 May 2011
Messages
8,199
When YouTube first started becoming a big player in terms of media, I hoped it would lead to a diversity of presentation techniques and styles. Unfortunately a lot of stuff is very formulaic, as you say Trip Reports are particularly bad for this. The toilet tests are quite the bugbear for me, too.

I suppose there's only so many ways you can present a trip report though. A few shots out of the window, a walk down the train, a review of the seats... doesn't really make a difference what order you put them in.
Vital for me...with my postrate issues I know I'll need to go, which is why I find Crossrail so infuriating, no toilets on-board. Helps when you know the loos are available and in good condition.
 

61653 HTAFC

Veteran Member
Joined
18 Dec 2012
Messages
17,689
Location
Another planet...
Vital for me...with my postrate issues I know I'll need to go, which is why I find Crossrail so infuriating, no toilets on-board. Helps when you know the loos are available and in good condition.
The state of a toilet weeks ago when the video was filmed probably isn't much to go on if you're travelling today. At best it might give some indication of how well a given operator is doing with regard to cleanliness.
The whole YouTube thing of "enter the toilet, close the door, test the flush, test the wash basin, test the hand dryer, wave or thumbs-up in the mirror" is a bit weird and awkward. It's odd how almost every YouTuber who does trip reports follows this exact formula. I'd much rather they just said "I've checked the toilet, it was clean and in working order" rather than filming it.
 

Howardh

Established Member
Joined
17 May 2011
Messages
8,199
The state of a toilet weeks ago when the video was filmed probably isn't much to go on if you're travelling today. At best it might give some indication of how well a given operator is doing with regard to cleanliness.
The whole YouTube thing of "enter the toilet, close the door, test the flush, test the wash basin, test the hand dryer, wave or thumbs-up in the mirror" is a bit weird and awkward. It's odd how almost every YouTuber who does trip reports follows this exact formula. I'd much rather they just said "I've checked the toilet, it was clean and in working order" rather than filming it.
To me it's as, if not more, important than the seat that they poke! Yes I agree that's the condition as they film, but then again so is the rest of the train, the waiting rooms etc. The toilet situation may be more valid though if they went to the disabled one, showing what that is like, where it is in relation to the rest of the train, and the area that they and the carer (if one) would be sat in.

Not specific to filming, it must be annoying for a disabled person if, example, a 3 coach long train shows up, you are at one end of the platform and the disabled toilet is at the other end of the train. If that were me I'd try to wait where the guard would be, so I could indicate I need to enter where the toilet is. A big plus for trains having guards and not driver-only!
 

Techniquest

Veteran Member
Joined
19 Jun 2005
Messages
21,674
Location
Nowhere Heath
I think what annoys me about the whole filming the lavatory thing is that I often watch stuff on YouTube while eating a meal. I don't particularly care to view such things while eating!

I see the point about it being handy to know where the facility is located, that's definitely handy, and I like to know things like where any cycle space is on a train if I haven't been on that type of train before. So things like that are really useful, but I don't think pointing the camera into the lavatory bowl and watching it flush is really appropriate or necessary.
 

xotGD

Established Member
Joined
4 Feb 2017
Messages
6,091
English enthusiasts - including several on here (you know who you are!) who insist on referring to Fort William as 'Fort Bill'! If you cant be bothered to use the full name, please call it 'The Fort' as the locals do. Thanking you in anticipation! :D
In a similar vein...

Southerners who refer to Newcastle Brown Ale as "Newky Brown".

If you want to use a nickname, "A Bottle of Dog" is perfectly acceptable.


Can I also ban people who spend their time watching YouTube videos of people in train toilets!
 

Purple Train

Established Member
Joined
16 Jul 2022
Messages
1,507
Location
Darkest Commuterland
I think what annoys me about the whole filming the lavatory thing is that I often watch stuff on YouTube while eating a meal. I don't particularly care to view such things while eating!

I see the point about it being handy to know where the facility is located, that's definitely handy, and I like to know things like where any cycle space is on a train if I haven't been on that type of train before. So things like that are really useful, but I don't think pointing the camera into the lavatory bowl and watching it flush is really appropriate or necessary.
I would agree with you here, but, given I have been known to get very excited about different sorts of door button on stock, to the point of aiming for specific stock on a spotting trip in order to get the satisfaction of pressing the certain sort of button (especially the old rubber buttons on Class 317s that I never managed to work out how to use), I'm exactly the sort of person who'd get excited recording the differences between flushes on various types of stock as well, and therefore I think it may be a tad rich of me to criticise someone for doing so, even for a different purpose :D.
(As an aside, my favourite door buttons still active so far are the large rectangular "door open" buttons on the outside of 165s (or at least GWR 165s) and the small round Technicolour Dreamcoats of buttons that you find inside a Class 465.)
 

Mojo

Forum Staff
Staff Member
Administrator
Joined
7 Aug 2005
Messages
20,414
Location
0035
Another irritation of mine I’d like to ban is address labels stuck on to plastic bags. Given that it isn’t wise to throw anything away with your name and address on it, it’s such a pain as these plastic bags don’t go through the shredder, so any time I get one I have to stand over the bin manually cutting it up into small pieces.

On the same line, I would ban shredders that don’t have an “on” function. Most of the domestic shredders these days only have Auto, Off, or Reverse. Given again that you’re supposed to shred all receipts it’s a pain to get the trigger to pick them up meaning I often have to fold them up in old envelopes or bills.
 

Gloster

Established Member
Joined
4 Sep 2020
Messages
8,483
Location
Up the creek
People who, when there is a sudden heavy downpour, stand in the entrances of shops or arcades blocking the passage of anyone who is trying to get in out of the train. I know we haven’t seen much rain recently, but surely you haven’t forgotten what it looks like, so you don’t need to stand there in a line gawping at it with your mouth open.
 

py_megapixel

Established Member
Joined
5 Nov 2018
Messages
6,674
Location
Northern England
Some actually provide Post Office counter staff for the full period of opening. My local one is something like 7am to 9pm 7 days a week (though the shop opens later), which is a huge improvement on what went before.
Some have a sign proudly declaring "if the shop's open we're open"

One thing I have noticed about toothpaste is that the range is much smaller than it used to be, and that supermarket own brands (unlike in just about every other type of product) are pretty much nonexistent. I've long wondered why.
Tesco definitely used to do one. I think it was called "Pro Formula" or something. Not sure if it still exists. Aldi does as well (as you'd expect) - the name "Dontodent" springs to mind but I have a feeling that might be something else.

People who when they change their mind about buying a refrigerated or frozen item at a supermarket just dump it on a random unrefrigerated shelf.
And, conversely people who dump an unwanted unrefrigerated item in a fridge/freezer.

House burglar alarms. Do they ever work? Do they ever deter burglars? I've just had 30 minutes of a neighbour's alarm going off, I presume there are no burglars but I don't really care if there are. The sodding thing just disrupts the neighbourhood, especially in summer, and eventually turns off with a sigh. Plus the adverts for them which prey on peoples' fear and stupidity to rush out and buy one to "protect" their houses.
I thought they were meant to automatically silence themselves after about 15 mins (maybe 20), though there are undoubtedly some that don't comply with this rule.

I would certainly ban the adverts that say "YOU can DRAMATICALLY lower the chances of a burglary by protecting YOUR HOME with a VeriSure Smart Alarm."

I would also ban anything that calls itself "smart" just because it connects to the internet and can be controlled by shouting at it or pressing buttons on your phone.

Temperatures over 24C
I assume you're specifically referring to the ambient temperature of the air - if not, good luck making a decent cup of tea/coffee or having a warm shower or bath then!

On the same line, I would ban shredders that don’t have an “on” function. Most of the domestic shredders these days only have Auto, Off, or Reverse. Given again that you’re supposed to shred all receipts it’s a pain to get the trigger to pick them up meaning I often have to fold them up in old envelopes or bills.
Is it just me or are those three-step switches incredibly irritating to use? They generally have "off" in the middle and not much gap between the positions, making it far too fiddly to actually turn the thing off. I tend to end up accidentally jumping straight from "Auto" to "Reverse", spewing out cut-up bits of paper in the process
 

Runningaround

Member
Joined
24 Mar 2022
Messages
799
Flikr posters ruining groups by posting 300 photos of one thing, they then plaster their picture with inane BS like ''don't copy my photos''. If you were any good you'd have your own heavily subscribed website to sell your photos, so stop spamming the place with rubbish.
Same with ''You Tubers'' sticking ''don't steal my videos'' to one that's had 15 views in 8 years doesn't make you the SKY Sports of Train Videos.
 

Top