Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[yorksrob]

They’re not too shy about their choice of music, then?

Hush hush now !

 

[Strat-tastic]

I would like to ban motorists who either don't know or don't care that pedestrians now have right of way to cross when they are turning into a side street.

This appears to include around 50% of drivers from my road crossing experience.

That's a tricky one, it may be unworkable in practice as most pedestrians still expect to wait.

I'd like to ban whoever designed these floor stickers seen at Dewsbury District Hospital:
View attachment 127423
The arrow should point left and forwards in the direction of travel, not left and backwards!

It mirrors the equivalent road sign, so maybe that's the reasoning?

 

[61653 HTAFC]

It mirrors the equivalent road sign, so maybe that's the reasoning?

On my long walk back to the entrance I observed many people walking on the wrong side. You're probably right that that was the thinking behind it, but the problem is they're on the floor, and looking down you see an arrow pointing 'backwards'.

 

[nw1]

Bus drivers for cowboy operators (Station Coaches of Batley, for those interested) who when asked if they go straight down the main road or round the houses, just lie. Also being dressed like someone who sits outside the bus station asking people for a tab, and subjecting your passengers to Kajagoogoo's greatest hits.

Could be worse.

 

[Strat-tastic]

On my long walk back to the entrance I observed many people walking on the wrong side. You're probably right that that was the thinking behind it, but the problem is they're on the floor, and looking down you see an arrow pointing 'backwards'.

Yeah, I get that hmmm

 

[A Challenge]

That's a tricky one, it may be unworkable in practice as most pedestrians still expect to wait.

I mean I expect to wait when crossing a side road because chances are the car isn't going to wait for me.

 

[GusB]

I'd like to ban cordless phones that beep incessantly when they require charging.

I managed to knock one of mine off its stand and it fell down the back of a chest of drawers. I had forgotten about it until the thing started reminding me that if needs fed. It's going to require much moving of stuff in order for me to physically move the chest of drawers so that I can retrieve the phone, but the worst thing is that 36 hours later the blasted thing is still beeping, so it couldn't have been that desperate for a charge in the first place!

 

[adrock1976]

Could we ban Amanda Holden from appearing on TV?

Holden seems to have switched sides now to Auntie Beeb appearing on a renovation show with Alan Carr, and the other week was also on The One Show. She appeared to be talking about herself, promoting herself, and everything about herself.

If ever the men in white coats were to take her away for a psychiatric assessment, Holden would most likely be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and/or narcissism. She was once married to Les Dennis years ago, and I can see how it was a good move to have got rid of year a long time ago.

 

[Strat-tastic]

I'd ban Amazon from claiming 'parcel was handed to resident' when they left it on the doorstep and didn't even ring the bell to see if I was indeed there to have the parcel handed to me

 

[Runningaround]

Feedback surveys nobody bothers filling them in anyway if you did it'd be because you got poor service and the company does the same again anyhow, how many staff are resourced by TOCS to read them and the train service gets worse? They all offer one after each twitter conversation why bother if they don't. Just concentrate on running trains and answering queries

 

[birchesgreen]

Feedback surveys nobody bothers filling them in anyway if you did it'd be because you got poor service and the company does the same again anyhow, how many staff are resourced by TOCS to read them and the train service gets worse? They all offer one after each twitter conversation why bother if they don't. Just concentrate on running trains and answering queries

I only fill them in if there is a prize draw for one of the respondees. Not that i have ever "won" (yet anyway!)

 

[BenS123]

Rubbers at the end of pencils that don't work are particularly annoying

 

[jfollows]

I'd ban Amazon from claiming 'parcel was handed to resident' when they left it on the doorstep and didn't even ring the bell to see if I was indeed there to have the parcel handed to me

Plus when they claim the same and it's simply untrue, that's to say nothing was handed to anyone.
It's occasionally been dumped with a neighbour, so I've learned to wait a day or so in case, but (relatively rare) when it's just a complete lie I've found it then awkward to get it sorted - from memory the refund process implies returning the goods which were never received in the first place, and there isn't an option for 'the item was lost, mislaid, misdelivered or stolen by your driver'.
Some delivery companies provide a picture of the item left in a porch, which has enabled me to track the item down to a neighbour in the past, but I don't think Amazon themselves do this.
I've always got my money back from a non-delivery in the end, but it's as if Amazon can't countenance a way in which this could possibly ever happen, which is slightly annoying.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Plus when they claim the same and it's simply untrue, that's to say nothing was handed to anyone.
It's occasionally been dumped with a neighbour, so I've learned to wait a day or so in case, but (relatively rare) when it's just a complete lie I've found it then awkward to get it sorted - from memory the refund process implies returning the goods which were never received in the first place, and there isn't an option for 'the item was lost, mislaid, misdelivered or stolen by your driver'.
Some delivery companies provide a picture of the item left in a porch, which has enabled me to track the item down to a neighbour in the past, but I don't think Amazon themselves do this.
I've always got my money back from a non-delivery in the end, but it's as if Amazon can't countenance a way in which this could possibly ever happen, which is slightly annoying.

It's not just Amazon... last week I was over at my mum's new house helping to decorate as she's been refurbishing. After a brief tea-break we went to the garage to get some tools to find that three long, thin packages had been left by a delivery driver inside the open garage. These were marked with the name of a local window-blind company, which my mum had placed no order with. Luckily there was a delivery note attached with the real customer's details (and address) on, including a phone number which the delivery driver hadn't bothered to ring. He also didn't knock on the door, if he had we'd have even able to tell him he was in the wrong street (X Avenue rather than X Drive).
When my mum phoned the number on the packaging note, the response was "thank goodness for that- I had a message and photo saying it was in the garage... but I don't have a garage!"

So can we just ban lazy, feckless delivery drivers regardless of what they're delivering and who for?

 

[py_megapixel]

Rubbers at the end of pencils that don't work are particularly annoying

Any rubbers that don't work are annoying, as they usually make a mess worse than what you were trying to rub out in the first place.

 

[Gloster]

Those cheery messages on the screens of supermarket self-service tills. In Morrisons I can just about accept that it starts with ’Hello - please start scanning’, but at the end it says, ‘Lovely to see you, ‘bye for now.’ It is a machine: it can’t see me, at least I hope not, and all that is needed are clear instructions, not pseudo-friendliness from an inanimate object.

 

[D6130]

It is a machine: it can’t see me, at least I hope not,

Perhaps it can. When I use the self check-outs at our local Co-op it often shows a video of me and my shopping as a approach the machine.

 

[D821]

Those cheery messages on the screens of supermarket self-service tills. In Morrisons I can just about accept that it starts with ’Hello - please start scanning’, but at the end it says, ‘Lovely to see you, ‘bye for now.’ It is a machine: it can’t see me, at least I hope not, and all that is needed are clear instructions, not pseudo-friendliness from an inanimate object.

I always think the lady's voice used on the Sainsbury's self service machines sounds quite condescending when it asks if you want a receipt.

 

[duncanp]

Those cheery messages on the screens of supermarket self-service tills. In Morrisons I can just about accept that it starts with ’Hello - please start scanning’, but at the end it says, ‘Lovely to see you, ‘bye for now.’ It is a machine: it can’t see me, at least I hope not, and all that is needed are clear instructions, not pseudo-friendliness from an inanimate object.

Talking of supermarket self service tills, can we ban the ones at my local ALDI from nagging you to "..please scan an item or select payment method.." if you pause for more than a nanosecond between putting an item in the bagging area after you have scanned it and picking up the next item.

Look, I'm not a <bleeping> octopus, and I've only got one pair of hands, just give me a minute will you.

 

[scotrail158713]

Talking of supermarket self service tills, can we ban the ones at my local ALDI from nagging you to "..please scan an item or select payment method.." if you pause for more than a nanosecond between putting an item in the bagging area after you have scanned it and picking up the next item.

Look, I'm not a <bleeping> octopus, and I've only got one pair of hands, just give me a minute will you.

Are they not just replicating the time-pressured experience you'd get at a manned till where the cashier scans it faster than you can pack it at the other side?

 

[Matey]

I only fill them in if there is a prize draw for one of the respondees. Not that i have ever "won" (yet anyway!)

Years ago I filled one up for British Midland out of sheer boredom. I won a a presentation boxed bottle of vintage Krug Champagne!

 

[duncanp]

Are they not just replicating the time-pressured experience you'd get at a manned till where the cashier scans it faster than you can pack it at the other side?

And can we also ban Aldi from making half the self service check outs card only, and half of them cash and card.

There is a single queue, which results in people who want to pay cash standing in the queue waiting for one that accepts cash to become free, whilst there are ones which accept cards free.

Rather annoying if you want to pay by card.

Methinks they are deliberately making it awkward to pay by cash, so that they can eventually get rid of self service checkouts that accept cash.

 

[BenS123]

Any rubbers that don't work are annoying, as they usually make a mess worse than what you were trying to rub out in the first place.

They seem to work off the logic of 'if you can't read what it says, you've basically got rid of it, right?'

 

[Techniquest]

I always think the lady's voice used on the Sainsbury's self service machines sounds quite condescending when it asks if you want a receipt.

It's the way that voice tells you to please take your items that gets on my nerves with Sainsburys, she might as well be doing an impression of Sonic's 'I'm waiting!' with the lack of patience it has!

 

[Mcr Warrior]

And can we also ban Aldi from making half the self service check outs card only, and half of them cash and card.

There is a single queue, which results in people who want to pay cash standing in the queue waiting for one that accepts cash to become free, whilst there are ones which accept cards free.

Rather annoying if you want to pay by card.

Methinks they are deliberately making it awkward to pay by cash, so that they can eventually get rid of self service checkouts that accept cash.

Not just Aldi. Local Tesco does exactly this as well.

M&S is even worse, it has just one self service checkout (out of four) that takes both cash and card. And more often than not, this is the one that isn't working!

 

[Richard Scott]

Talking of supermarket self service tills, can we ban the ones at my local ALDI from nagging you to "..please scan an item or select payment method.." if you pause for more than a nanosecond between putting an item in the bagging area after you have scanned it and picking up the next item.

Look, I'm not a <bleeping> octopus, and I've only got one pair of hands, just give me a minute will you.

The most annoying used to be the Tescos efforts that when you had to weigh an item said something along the lines of 'select the item or have a browse'. What am I going to browse for on a self service machine? It's not an Argos Catalogue. Totally ridiculous statement.

 

[py_megapixel]

If you select "no receipt" on ASDA machines, no receipt is printed (as you would expect). However, the next screen, and corresponding voice message, says "Please take your receipt".

 

[Ostrich]

Not just Aldi. Local Tesco does exactly this as well.

M&S is even worse, it has just one self service checkout (out of four) that takes both cash and card. And more often than not, this is the one that isn't working!

Similarly my local Tesco. I went in last Saturday lunchtime for a pasty and wanted to pay cash. The queue for the self-service tills - 3 cash/card and 3 card only, was approaching 2 dozen shoppers. It was far quicker to take my pasty to a normal checkout.
And Tescos have scrapped the hot food counter as well. Sacrilege! Tescos should be banned from banning hot food counters .....

 

[ScotRail158725]

And can we also ban Aldi from making half the self service check outs card only, and half of them cash and card.

There is a single queue, which results in people who want to pay cash standing in the queue waiting for one that accepts cash to become free, whilst there are ones which accept cards free.

Rather annoying if you want to pay by card.

Methinks they are deliberately making it awkward to pay by cash, so that they can eventually get rid of self service checkouts that accept cash.

The Morrisons i work in recently done it, 4 of the 8 self scan machines are card only the other 4 are cash and its an absolute pain for the reasons as you say especially when you have to go through asking people in the queue how they’re paying. The only positive, although only from a staff team leader perspective is theres 4 less machines to count money from and empty at the end of the night

 

[jfollows]

I just received a letter informing me of an increase to a quarterly direct debit, but it annoys me that it doesn't state what the cost used to be. So I have to go and look and work out for myself that it's a 10% increase. If they'd told me this, I'd have been OK with it. But because they didn't, I've cancelled my subscription and my direct debit - goodbye Railway Magazine.
I've had this before so I know it's not unusual. What's annoying is that they're required to tell you of the new amount but they appear to go out of their way not to give you the extra information you really need to know what it means to you - how much extra you're going to have to pay and what percentage increase this means. Radio Times did the same to me in the past.