Sorry for bumping such an old thread. My name is Laura, and my best friend James was the fatality at Bow in January this year.
I wanted to talk to the driver of the train at the inquest to his death, but he had supplied a written statement instead of attending, which I understand. I just wanted to apologise for what he went through, and to say that I've thought about him often. The last time I spoke with the BTP, they said you were back at work now. I hope you're doing okay and I think about you often.
The care and compassion from staff in this thread has brought me to tears. I had reasoned that there would be a certain amount of black humour to deal with such incidents (which I completely understand), but to read that this is as heartbreaking to many of you as it was to me means a great deal. Maybe this is silly but I just wanted to say thank you.
Laura, as others above have said, thank you for such a thoughtful post. Especially so, in light of the fact that a lot of what we had on this thread was a technical discussion about how these types of events are reported to the public, and the reasoning behind the response to such things by frontline rail staff. I'm glad the overall care of this forum has shone through here. Believe me when I say that you do have my greatest sympathies when it comes to what you have had to experience, and my thoughts are also with James's family and all those in a similar position. Your post is not silly, and as a member of railway staff, I do receive it well.
Again, as those who have posted before me indicated, many people do find that there is no easy path when it comes to reacting to, and attempting to rationalise in one's mind, suicidal behaviour on the railway. Rest assured that just as you have wanted to try to understand what happened, and speak to everyone involved, those of us who are railway staff often have this sort of incident dwelling in our minds, and we try to help each other by discussing it in a tone appropriate to the audience at hand. You are right that this sometimes involves black humour but, from my experience, it is never the case that this is meant to offend. I am really glad it did not do so here. In addition, I think the need to talk through events like this can also be muddled a little with apologising for them. It sounds hollow, and please don't take it the wrong way, but please don't worry about apologising. The last thing that any member of train crew wants to do is to make you feel inadequate simply because you are a friend of somebody who sadly passed away in our workplace. By posting here, and allowing us to discuss this, you have probably helped more than you know, too.
One of the privileges of some types of railway work, particularly being train crew, is that you do have a lot of very interesting interactions with other human beings, and there is little that is nicer than transporting passengers safely and punctually to their destinations, perhaps through beautiful countryside (as is the case further down the Great Eastern Mainline), whilst building up a rapport with them. It is therefore all the more tragic when this peace is shattered, and I can tell you from personal experience that there is a moment of tragedy felt even when receiving the email or phone call detailing somebody being injured or deceased on the line, let alone being in the proximity of such. I am pretty sure the driver you mention would rather be able to be back at work, than not yet be in a position to be, and if they read this, I am sure they will be very moved by what you've written.
In due course, if you feel like you can share any ideas about how you feel it is best to help those affected by fatalities, or how such incidents are communicated to the public, you will be more than welcome to post here, or you may want to speak to Network Rail or BTP, or your local train operator. A lot of operators have suicide prevention workgroups, or feed back to the wider industry to improve best practice. I really do appreciate that it is hard to know this will not help James now, and I have experienced very similar frustrations after trying to help those attempting self-harm on the railway, but it may help someone else. Indeed, despite this, the work put into developing such strategies has helped me in other ways, mainly when speaking to bystanders and train crew who have witnessed these events.
Again, thank you!
