Should bullying in schools be banned?

[Phil56]

This must surely have been a long time ago. Seating plans are done very differently today and if incidents of bullying are occuring, the relevant students will be separated.


These days a parent can simply make the request and it would be enacted. If things were different back in your day then that was very wrong. Some people are keen to say how our society was so much 'better' back in the "good olden days" of the 1950s/60s/70s/whatever and that just isn't true.


Sorry to hear this happened to you. This wouldn't happen today

It was late 80s and early 90s, so not in the "dark ages" of the 50/60/70's. It was a supposedly good and well respected comp.

I'm not sure about that kind of seating/grouping not happening today. My son is at Uni, so was at secondary during 2013 to 2020 and he definitely had seating plans/groupings based on alphabetical order of surnames. He was lucky in that those near him in the alphabet weren't the bullying kind. He did say that he was lucky as he knew of other classmates who had the "wrong" surname and were suffering bullying because of the groups they were always assigned into!

Presumably not all schools are enlightened as yours!

but the teacher explained it's a lot harder for them to deal with such allegations these days because a lot of the bullying takes place outside of school, often online or on social media. I'm not really sure how much a teacher can do about that?

Well, they can at least try to protect the victim when at school can't they, i.e. keep them apart in lessons (different groupings, far away in class seating plans), support a transfer to a different form, or different "sets". The teacher can allow them to keep separated at breaks/form time and lunchtimes, i.e. grant an exemption for the victim to be allowed to stay in the library (or other indoor "safe" place) at breaks or lunchtimes.

I agree, not much they can do when outside school or online but if they "dilute" the exposure within the school grounds/school day, it may help reduce the out of school bullying, if nothing else, by "out of sight, out of mind".

I did get a bit of respite in a couple of ways when a couple of decent teachers actually took my bullying seriously. One, a games teacher, allowed me to do swimming for the full year (everyone else just did it for a term), so that I didn't get bullied by the "alpha males" on the football and rugby pitches (and changing rooms), which was a massive relief. The other was a drama teacher who suggested I joined the stage lighting team for school plays, which gave me permission to go into the school hall (in fact under the stage) at breaks and lunchtimes to work on the lighting - (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, just make sure you have a light on the table if a teacher looks in!) all year as a kind of "escape" if the bullying/abuse got too much in the corridors, form rooms, or outside, which was an absolute godsend at times. Of course, you shouldn't have to hide away, but it was a pragmatic solution for me to get out of their way. Would have been better for the teachers to challenge the bullies, but hey-ho, it was better than no help at all.

 

[ABB125]

It was late 80s and early 90s, so not in the "dark ages" of the 50/60/70's. It was a supposedly good and well respected comp.

I'm not sure about that kind of seating/grouping not happening today. My son is at Uni, so was at secondary during 2013 to 2020 and he definitely had seating plans/groupings based on alphabetical order of surnames. He was lucky in that those near him in the alphabet weren't the bullying kind. He did say that he was lucky as he knew of other classmates who had the "wrong" surname and were suffering bullying because of the groups they were always assigned into!

Presumably not all schools are enlightened as yours!

I was at high school (3-tier system where I live(d)!) at the same time as your son. Generally, seating plans were done alphabetically, but not always. The notable exception was maths, where it was done by ability (ie: less able pupils at the front, more able pupils at the back). Of course, this only really applied for the first few weeks of term; as the teachers got used to a class, there was scope to "accidentally" sit in the "wrong" place and not be told to move back, or simply ask the teacher to move. For some classes, where almost every lesson was in a different room with a different seating layout, seating plans went out the window pretty quickly! And one or two teachers had no seating plans at all... (The one which sticks out in my head is music.)
And once in the sixth form, certainly the teachers I had were far less concerned about seating plans.

The other was a drama teacher who suggested I joined the stage lighting team for school plays, which gave me permission to go into the school hall (in fact under the stage) at breaks and lunchtimes to work on the lighting - (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, just make sure you have a light on the table if a teacher looks in!) all year as a kind of "escape" if the bullying/abuse got too much in the corridors, form rooms, or outside, which was an absolute godsend at times. Of course, you shouldn't have to hide away, but it was a pragmatic solution for me to get out of their way. Would have been better for the teachers to challenge the bullies, but hey-ho, it was better than no help at all.

That's the kind of thing I'd do, regardless of whether I was being bullied or not!

 

[johncrossley]

I don't remember any seating plans when I was at school. Most of the time we sat where we wanted.

 

[Cloud Strife]

One problem with bullying, speaking as a teacher in a previous life is that it's sometimes very difficult to determine *why* the bullying is happening. I've had several situations where a spiteful child has been bullied in return, and it was very hard to feel sympathy for them given that they had provoked the bullying in the first place. One child was a notorious snitch, often lying about things that hadn't happened, and it was hard to pity him when his peers turned on him. If someone tells the truth, it's fine, but this kid was clearly lying through his teeth. I remember one incident where he reported to me that people were smoking drugs in the bathroom. I went there with another teacher, and no-one was in there, nor was there any characteristic smell. We asked some kids sitting nearby, and they said that they hadn't seen anyone go in.

I remember one child in particular was beaten by some older children, and after a detailed investigation, it became clear that the older kids had a very, very strong reason to beat him. It was difficult to punish them for it, because the reason was so severe that it acted as mitigating circumstances. They were all given a formal written warning, but with information to the parents that the school considered the matter closed and that no further action would be taken. The one who was beaten left the school shortly afterwards, and his parents were told about the precise circumstances and what led to the beating. I wasn't at the meeting, but the boss said that the colour drained from the mother's face when it was explained exactly what he'd done.

Having said that, in my career, it's always been the spoiled middle class girls who caused the most trouble in schools. You learn to recognise them very quickly, and I always made it a point to identify them and pull them aside within the first few weeks so that they knew that they were on my radar. I had a role similar to a guidance teacher in Scotland, so I had full freedom to identify problems and nip them in the bud.

 

[Phil56]

One problem with bullying, speaking as a teacher in a previous life is that it's sometimes very difficult to determine *why* the bullying is happening. I've had several situations where a spiteful child has been bullied in return, and it was very hard to feel sympathy for them given that they had provoked the bullying in the first place.

You have to careful not to stray into "victim blaming" mode though, don't you?

The vast majority of bullying isn't "caused" by the victim at all. Bullies pick on people who are different, i.e. fat, red hair, freckles/dimples, poor personal hygiene, untrendy clothes, even untrendy school bag, poor coordination so poor at sports/games, liking the "wrong" kind of music, unusual hobbies, etc.

 

[Cloud Strife]

You have to careful not to stray into "victim blaming" mode though, don't you?

Incredibly careful. You need to build up the entire picture in order to find out what's actually happening, not just rely on the victim and the ones doing the bullying. I always took a huge amount of notes, which were then added to a database. That way, I could quickly cross-check situations and individuals. It took a lot of work, but being able to say "okay, you've been involved in three separate cases of bullying in the last year, what's going on?" was a massive timesaver.

I used to make a point of noting down even the most trivial of situations, because it could lead to something worse down the line.

The vast majority of bullying isn't "caused" by the victim at all. Bullies pick on people who are different, i.e. fat, red hair, freckles/dimples, poor personal hygiene, untrendy clothes, even untrendy school bag, poor coordination so poor at sports/games, liking the "wrong" kind of music, unusual hobbies, etc.

This is something that I've always struggled with.

I remember one very obese kid who was being bullied, and it was clear that she was comfort eating on a rather large scale to deal with it. I spoke to the mother, and explained that her diet was atrocious and that the PE teacher was willing to put together a healthy diet and fitness plan for her. The mother went ballistic, she claimed that the daughter was a healthy weight and said that there was no problem with her diet. The kid was 8, and the mother was sending her to school with junk like mini pizzas and chocolate.

The problem there was that the bullying came from her being different (i.e. obese), and addressing the bullying wasn't enough. It wasn't her fault, but the parents were in deep denial about the effects of a terrible diet and lack of exercise. The other kids were actually frustrated with her because her obesity had resulted in attitude problems, and she was openly hostile towards other kids. Was it a result of the bullying? Hard to say.

The truth with bullying is that each situation is unique, and you need to really spend a lot of time trying to figure out exactly what is going on and why. Something like obesity or poor personal hygiene points at problems in the family, and problems in the family often result in a child behaving badly. It was very, very common in my experience for the children of divorced parents to react badly, and you'd find that they were jealous of other kids with 'normal' parents.

Of course, maybe half of the incidents were simply straightforward bullying for the sake of bullying. Funnily enough, the bullies usually had nothing to say when they were invited to bully the parent of the victim. I used to make a point of getting the bully and the victim's parents together, because very few bullies had the guts to tell the parents of the victim why they were bullying their child.

 

[Gloster]

And you can have boys (and no doubt girls) who just enjoy inflicting pain and misery on others, or see it as a way to get what they want. If they are one of the lucky ones who are indulged by the teachers, so much the better (for them).

 

[Cloud Strife]

And you can have boys (and no doubt girls) who just enjoy inflicting pain and misery on others, or see it as a way to get what they want. If they are one of the lucky ones who are indulged by the teachers, so much the better (for them).

Don't even get me started on teachers who played favourites. It's one of the big reasons why I quit education, as well.

There were kids I liked, there were kids I hated, but I was professional to a fault with all of them.

 

[Gloster]

Don't even get me started on teachers who played favourites. It's one of the big reasons why I quit education, as well.

There were kids I liked, there were kids I hated, but I was professional to a fault with all of them.

You presumably did not work in the private sector, where favouritism is part of the ethos. It is, of course, helped by the depth of the parents’ pockets.

 

[Bletchleyite]

The problem there was that the bullying came from her being different (i.e. obese), and addressing the bullying wasn't enough. It wasn't her fault, but the parents were in deep denial about the effects of a terrible diet and lack of exercise.

Obesity is one of the most difficult ones.

Nobody should be bullied for being fat. I was bullied for being fat as a kid, even though by modern standards I wasn't really - by 2022 standards I was average. Kids back then were mostly beanpoles. If you weren't a beanpole and good at football, your potential friend group was very limited indeed.

I'm fat now, because I put a load of weight on mostly through a combination of forced inactivity and comfort eating when I got seriously ill a couple of years ago and have not yet managed to shift it. I'm conscious this is a serious health issue as a middle aged man, though, and as such I don't think it's right to push a message that I should just accept it. No sign of Type 2 yet (though I did get a scare from a faulty meter as I do test it occasionally to make sure) but I'm well aware if I don't sort it soonish it's likely to happen plus joint issues etc.

But there's a fine line between a doctor, sports scientist, PE teacher etc saying "you'd benefit from losing some weight for health reasons" (the message being "there's nothing wrong with your body, you're just carrying a bit much weight, here's how to get rid of it"), and a bully saying "you're fat and ugly and everyone hates you" (which is a message that creates body dysmorphia, self loathing etc and can lead to suicide). It is not at all an easy one to deal with.

 

[johncrossley]

You presumably did not work in the private sector, where favouritism is part of the ethos. It is, of course, helped by the depth of the parents’ pockets.

Are fee paying schools allowed to tolerate bullying?

 

[matacaster]

The move to enormous comprehensive schools with circa 2000 pupils so they can afford swimming pool, all whether pitches, theatre etc has consequences. As there are likely to be more bullies the larger the school, then so there are more opportunities for gangs of disaffected to emerge. These schools tend to be run on military lines to enforce discipline and find it very hard to cope with any form of troublemaking.. So often try to exclude them.

 

[LSWR Cavalier]

Many of us have been bullied at school or work, but have any of us bullied others? I tried to examine my conscience, I was wondering if I had perhaps been 'unwelcoming' to new colleagues, they could have perceived that as bullying.

A good way to reduce bullying at work might be to reduce working hours so that people have less Idle time.

 

[Gloster]

Are fee paying schools allowed to tolerate bullying?

No, of course not, but fee paying schools have to make sure that they continue to receive fees. Expelling or severely punishing boys is likely to get you a bad reputation on the parents’ grapevine. Upsetting parents by trying to get to grips with bullying risks losing their fees and having them giving a highly coloured version of events. They are businesses and having a good public image among potential customers (parents) is vital, so it is always best to ignore it or hush it up. Even having a quiet word is risky as it might come back and be held against you later. (“You warned X about doing this, but he kept on and now look at Y...”) And remember that the victims are children or youths: it is easy to say that it is just boys being boys and the complainant is getting ridiculously upset about a little bit of playing about. (At least until someone loses a limb.) Parents are complicit: they don’t want the embrassement of removing their offspring or the cost. (“As you have withdrawn your son without the required notice/had your son expelled you will be required to pay the fees for next term (£3,000 - ker-ching).”)

 

[najaB]

But there's a fine line between a doctor, sports scientist, PE teacher etc saying "you'd benefit from losing some weight for health reasons" (the message being "there's nothing wrong with your body, you're just carrying a bit much weight, here's how to get rid of it"), and a bully saying "you're fat and ugly and everyone hates you" (which is a message that creates body dysmorphia, self loathing etc and can lead to suicide). It is not at all an easy one to deal with.

The problem there is that former may well be taken as the latter!

 

[Cloud Strife]

Many of us have been bullied at school or work, but have any of us bullied others? I tried to examine my conscience, I was wondering if I had perhaps been 'unwelcoming' to new colleagues, they could have perceived that as bullying.

Without going into too much detail:

1) Several times in school. I was perceived as one of the tough kids, and I had no patience for people bullying weaker kids. I had a standard pattern: provoke the bullies into attacking first, then I'd do a number on them. Was it bullying when it was aimed at bullies themselves? Hard to say. Either way, there was a distinct pattern: show the bullies what a real bully was capable of, and then spend the next few months making sure that they didn't forget what had happened.

2) I bullied a colleague at work in an attempt to get rid of him. He was completely incompetent, and he was hired against my strong objections. After seeing the harm that he was doing to children, I told him straight to his face that he shouldn't be working there and that I wanted him to leave. He wouldn't quit, so I deliberately made sure to leave him out of meetings and so on. Was it nice? No, but at the same time, he was harming children with his 'methods' and his general behaviour, including shouting at young children. Unfortunately, he was cheap and willing to do whatever he was told, so he was seen as a valuable employee.

I'm not ashamed of either of those things.

Obesity is one of the most difficult ones.

It is very, very difficult to deal with. I remember having a meeting about this topic, and my suggestion was that team games should be completely dropped from the curriculum in order to avoid the 'not picking you because you're fat and useless' problem. My colleagues didn't agree, but for me, this was a no-brainer in order to reduce potential bullying.

 

[najaB]

It is very, very difficult to deal with. I remember having a meeting about this topic, and my suggestion was that team games should be completely dropped from the curriculum in order to avoid the 'not picking you because you're fat and useless' problem. My colleagues didn't agree, but for me, this was a no-brainer in order to reduce potential bullying.

But, on the flip side, team sports/games can be very good at building rapport in a group. It's a fine line to tread.

 

[Ediswan]

It is very, very difficult to deal with. I remember having a meeting about this topic, and my suggestion was that team games should be completely dropped from the curriculum in order to avoid the 'not picking you because you're fat and useless' problem. My colleagues didn't agree, but for me, this was a no-brainer in order to reduce potential bullying.

Do schools still practice 'picking teams' in that manner ? Random team selection would go some way towards addressing the issue.

I was never a top preference for picked sports teams. Not fat. Not bullying. Just not a great sporting asset.

The sport I ended up with is white water kayaking. Some have the physique of a gazelle. Some a walrus. I have seen both work.

 

[najaB]

Do schools still practice 'picking teams' in that manner ? Random team selection would go some way towards addressing the issue.

Indeed, it would. With names drawn well in advance so that (as much as possible) everyone plays on a team with everyone else at some point during the year.

 

[Gloster]

Team sports are all very well as long they don’t become an obsession. Public schools are, in the main, very keen on them: afternoon activity, inter-house sports competitions, matches against other schools and regional, even national, competitions. All are important and winning is a matter of pride (and publicity). Some schools, possibly (although I doubt) most, have a reasonable attitude and don’t get carried away. Others become overly obsessed and the attitude that anyone who isn’t any good is slacking and ‘letting the house or school down’.

I suffer from a then undiagnosed eye problem which means I had difficulty coordinating my movements with a rapidly moving object, such as a ball. Even a rugby ball was likely to bounce off my hands as they would be an inch or two out of place for catching it. This resulted in criticism, sometimes thoroughly unpleasant, from some of the masters, which only encouraged bullying.

I generally avoided team sports, but the worst I saw (by chance, as I normally kept well clear of the cricket pavilion) was when a member of the Colts XI backed onto his wicket. He had only needed to hang on while the other batsman knocked up the last few runs to defeat one of the school’s main rivals. The master was so angry that when the boy came downstairs in the pavilion, the master swung an arm at him and knocked him to the ground. He then grabbed him, pulled him up, said something quietly to him and then let go so that the boy fell to the ground. On another occasion in a routine rugby match I saw a master run up to a boy and push him to the ground, although I know not why.

Oddly, the worst I suffered was at my prep school when I was about nine. We were playing three-a-side with a small plastic ball, when I miskicked it and scored an own goal. The assistant matron, who was probably only about twenty, was refereeing and she absolutely tore me to bits for every crime under the sun.

Incidentally, the reason that rugby (union) is so popular in public schools is that it allows one master with a whistle to tire out thirty boys. It also sets the schools apart from ‘the oiks’ who play football or rugby league.

 

[Phil56]

But, on the flip side, team sports/games can be very good at building rapport in a group. It's a fine line to tread.

So they should be optional, not compulsory.

For whatever reason, if you're not good at team sports, that can extend to non sporty "team" or group activities. If you're bullied on the football pitch, then the same bullies are probably going to bully you in the classroom doing group/team work. If you lose confidence in yourself because of being poor in the rugby team, that loss of confidence can affect you working closely with others in other ways. Teachers also get a "view" of you. I vividly remember one of our Chemistry teachers (who was also a games teacher) basically ignore me and ridicule me in Chemistry lessons - because I was crap on the pitches, he clearly extended his poor view of me into the classroom - it never happened with any other teachers as I was a very good student so had good relationships with other teachers. I still have one of my school reports. The French teacher wrote "excellent year, he deserves to do well", the Chemistry teacher wrote "tends to be disinterested and lazy", but I still got a grade A in the end of year test!

I've literally never been able to work as a "team" or work easily in collaboration with others, even now after nearly 40 years in the workplace and far prefer (and get better results) when I'm working on my own. decades later, when I am in any kind of "group" scenario, I spend all my time worrying about what others are thinking, I'm quiet because I don't want to be ridiculed for saying something wrong, etc. Teenage bullying really can affect your entire adult life and in my case, it all started on the sports fields because I was fat. (I'm not anymore, I lost all my weight in my early 20's but the mental scars never go away).

 

[AlterEgo]

So they should be optional, not compulsory.

No they shouldn’t. Team sports are an important part of growing up and one of the few instances in schooling where children are forced to participate in teams. It doesn’t have to be rugby or football.

The entire rest of the curriculum is plenty of time to focus on individual achievements.

 

[Bletchleyite]

No they shouldn’t. Team sports are an important part of growing up and one of the few instances in schooling where children are forced to participate in teams. It doesn’t have to be rugby or football.

The entire rest of the curriculum is plenty of time to focus on individual achievements.

The problem is that some people are useless at all of them. That is utterly crushing to mental health because you're letting the team down, and boy do kids let you know that.

It is vastly more important that kids are helped to find a physical activity that suits them whether it's a team one or not, as otherwise we end up with "I'm rubbish at football/rugby/hockey/netball, I hate sport, I'm going to veg". Teamwork can be taught in other situations too.

Yes, personal experience. I learnt teamwork via outdoor activities (not sports) in Scouting. The physical activities I took to eventually are mostly done informally with others or solitary, where challenging yourself is more important than winning as a team unless you're an elite - distance running, cycling (mostly as a mode of transport) and climbing. I also, after Year 10 when you got choices, did some swimming and weight lifting, and tennis/badminton which I'm awful at but played against others who are similarly awful on a not-very-competitive basis. You can do them as team activities but it only works if you're good. Most people doing these sports do them for personal bests in informal groups of others who encourage each other rather than compete.

There is little worse for mental health than knowing you're letting a team down simply because you're not fast or well-co-ordinated* and being bullied for it on top.

* I have no ball skills whatsoever. Wouldn't surprise me if I was actually dyspraxic, but you didn't diagnose stuff like that in the 80s.

 

[AlterEgo]

The problem is that some people are useless at all of them. That is utterly crushing to mental health because you're letting the team down, and boy do kids let you know that.

It is vastly more important that kids are helped to find a physical activity that suits them whether it's a team one or not, as otherwise we end up with "I'm rubbish at football/rugby/hockey/netball, I hate sport, I'm going to veg". Teamwork can be taught in other situations too.

Yes, personal experience. I learnt teamwork via outdoor activities (not sports) in Scouting.

Why can’t team sports include orienteering, for example? It’s this sort of thinking outside the box activity which should be on the curriculum. It doesn’t have to be rugby. But I do think team sports should be compulsory whichever sport that is. Doesn’t have to be a contact sport at all.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Why can’t team sports include orienteering, for example?

Orienteering is mostly about speed. You need to be a decent runner to get anywhere in it. It's a competitive running activity where you happen to do some navigation.

(I'm sure our resident "live fast" competitive orienteer would agree!)

It’s this sort of thinking outside the box activity which should be on the curriculum. It doesn’t have to be rugby. But I do think team sports should be compulsory whichever sport that is. Doesn’t have to be a contact sport at all.

It's not just about contact sports. I'm 6' 4" and over 20 stone, and I wasn't far off that as a teenager, contact sports are no threat to me, people just bounce off (yes, I've had that amusing experience during a game of Bulldog). It's about being slow and uncoordinated and thus never being a strong addition to a sports team.

If we want to make every kid find a sport or physical activity they love for life to deal with the obesity problem we're going to have to find alternatives for teaching teamwork. You can't make both work.

 

[najaB]

The problem is that some people are useless at all of them. That is utterly crushing to mental health because you're letting the team down, and boy do kids let you know that.

But you won't know if you're any good if you never try them.

 

[Bletchleyite]

But you won't know if you're any good if you never try them.

Trying them (e.g. by rotating a load of activities for Year 7 to give you a go at loads of stuff) is quite different from being forced to play rugby for half the year and cricket for half for the first three years of "big school" and spending the whole time knowing you're dragging the team down and being picked on for it. I'm so bad at rugby* that the team is genuinely better off if I stand on the sidelines getting cold. That's what I did for most of it. And I can't hit a ball with a bat, either.

It's utterly, utterly crushing. If it's not happened to you you wouldn't understand how bad it is for self esteem and to push you away from physical activity.

What prevented me just turning into a couch potato was Scouting, which offered less competitive physical activities - hiking, climbing and the likes, and develops teamwork through living and working together with a small group on camp and at weekly meetings. A wonderful organisation in terms of what it does for kids, particularly the less sporty ones.

What would fix it would be what they started doing from Year 10, but should do from Year 7 up - offer a wide choice of 6-7 different activities each term. It'd always have the popular ones for those good at them who did just want to do those - rugby, cricket, hockey etc (and those should be offered regardless of gender), but would also offer a load of different stuff like swimming, going to a local gym (an old fashioned "pumping iron" place, they didn't have modern ones in the 90s), tennis, badminton etc. These were often bought in (e.g. swimming was instructed by the pool staff and the gym staff** kept a vague eye on us and phoned the school to confirm we'd arrived and hadn't just walked off), but could be offered by sharing provision between local authorities/academy trust schools as an alternative.

* All the more ironic because I *look* like a rugby player!
** More difficult now as they'd not be DBS checked, which wasn't a thing back then, but there are ways.

 

[najaB]

Trying them (e.g. by rotating a load of activities for Year 7 to give you a go at loads of stuff) is quite different from being forced to play rugby for half the year and cricket for half for the first three years of "big school" and spending the whole time knowing you're dragging the team down and being picked on for it. I'm so bad at rugby* that the team is genuinely better off if I stand on the sidelines getting cold. That's what I did for most of it. And I can't hit a ball with a bat, either.

Agreed. Team sports should be encouraged but not mandatory.

 

[Phil56]

No they shouldn’t. Team sports are an important part of growing up and one of the few instances in schooling where children are forced to participate in teams. It doesn’t have to be rugby or football.

The entire rest of the curriculum is plenty of time to focus on individual achievements.

We'll have to agree to disagree. Team sports absolutely ruined my secondary education years, caused bullying, and resulted in life long issues for me. They're fine for those who are sporty, but an absolute nightmare for those who aren't. I take it you're the sporty kind!

It's utterly, utterly crushing. If it's not happened to you you wouldn't understand how bad it is for self esteem and to push you away from physical activity.

Exactly how I feel about them. It did nothing at all for me. It put me right off any kind of physical activity in my teen years. I was pretty healthy and sporty at primary school (when being good at it doesn't matter), but secondary school sports were a nightmare when you have to be competitive and you're team mates constantly criticise you if you're no good! It wasn't until my mid 20's that I started getting physical again, which for me included walking, cycling, swimming, squash, golf and ski-ing. Mostly solo or with my OH, never in teams nor groups. It helped me lose 7 stones in weight and get me to a "normal" weight, after I piled on the pounds during my teen years because of no exercise. It was my OH that motivated me to exercise with her, and the weight just fell off and has stayed off ever since, but now I just walk, but several miles each day, every day. I've nothing against physical activities/sport, but I couldn't and still can't do anything in teams/groups - thanks to the horrendous bullying at school.

Trying them (e.g. by rotating a load of activities for Year 7 to give you a go at loads of stuff) is quite different from being forced to play rugby for half the year and cricket for half for the first three years of "big school" and spending the whole time knowing you're dragging the team down and being picked on for it. I'm so bad at rugby* that the team is genuinely better off if I stand on the sidelines getting cold.

Fully agree. Nothing at all wrong with doing a variety of sports on a "carousel" basis for the first term at secondary school, to give everyone an opportunity to explore different activities/sports. Unfortunately, both for me (decades ago) and my son (last decade), it's been the opposite. The "carousel" of different choices didn't happen until year 4, i.e. after 3 full years of compulsory team sports of Football, rugby and cricket, so that's 3 years of damage to those who aren't good at those sports. By year 4, the damage is done, and at best, being able to choose from a larger variety is a relief, but it doesn't take away the 3 years of harm.

If football, rugby and cricket have to be compulsory for the first few years, then at least there should be a split between "competitive" games and "fun" games, so that the less able (for whatever reason) can actually get onto the field and kick a ball about in relative peace rather than the games be dominated by the ultra competitive alpha males. Kicking a football around for an hour for fun is a hell of a lot better than being in a team where none of your team mates want you there and do their utmost to avoid you getting a kick of the ball!

 

[najaB]

If football, rugby and cricket have to be compulsory for the first few years, then at least there should be a split between "competitive" games and "fun" games, so that the less able (for whatever reason) can actually get onto the field and kick a ball about in relative peace rather than the games be dominated by the ultra competitive alpha males.

Also agree. The first couple of years should be about technique and rules rather than scores and competitions.