Sitting with a person when a train is empty

[Route115?]

If you are on the tube and the carriage empties out so that the next seat is occupied but many othere are free do you move? I generally do, others might not.

 

[Bletchleyite]

If you are on the tube and the carriage empties out so that the next seat is occupied but many othere are free do you move? I generally do, others might not.

Generally yes if there's another seat with enough legroom, though if I'm in the window I will first give the person sitting there a few minutes to see if they are going to rather than asking them to stand up for me to get out.

 

[trainophile]

I'll be discreet about the journey, but this afternoon I was settled in an airline pair with my luggage, a while before departure time. About five minutes to go and what can only be described as a scruffy couple got on with a nasty little dog snorting and snuffling. I gathered up my stuff, and at the same moment a chap in the seats across the aisle had the same idea, and with one accord we headed for the next carriage. Said chap remarked "they were smelly weren't they?", to which I replied that I hadn't stayed long enough to find out but I wasn't keen on the dog. I should point out that the four carriages were only about 10% occupied if that, so why this couple had to plonk themselves right in front of me...

 

[DelW]

If you are on the tube and the carriage empties out so that the next seat is occupied but many othere are free do you move? I generally do, others might not.

Generally yes if there's another seat with enough legroom, though if I'm in the window I will first give the person sitting there a few minutes to see if they are going to rather than asking them to stand up for me to get out.

That's a bit niche, the only window seats I can think of on the tube are those on a small number of Bakerloo 1972 stock carriages

 

[Wolfie]

That's a bit niche, the only window seats I can think of on the tube are those on a small number of Bakerloo 1972 stock carriages

While some might argue that they technically aren't "on the tube" there are some on the S8 stock....

 

[DelW]

While some might argue that they technically aren't "on the tube" there are some on the S8 stock....

I don't count the Met line as "tube", though I agree not everyone makes the distinction.

 

[Forty29]

I've sat next to someone in a priority row in what was an almost empty train, because I knew full well it wouldn't be an empty train within 10 minutes. And indeed it wasn't, it was full and standing before leaving Euston.

That person (a man, I'd probably not have done it to a woman as it may have freaked her out) wasn't very impressed at the time but I think understood later.

But what the OP describes is just odd, and I guess it's TfW so they weren't their reserved seats?

Similar annoyance - why do people park next to you in an empty car park? Why would they want to make it harder to get out of their car?

Or sit in front of you in an empty cinema, though when buying tickets might have been allocated them.

 

[BeijingDave]

Lets be honest, most people don't want to sit with anyone when they don't have to. It's natural. If it were busy of course it would be a completely different matter.

I used to think similarly but now I think it's cultural and socialised, rather than 'natural'. It's very British and northern European (the Finns are even more obsessed about distance from others than we are).

As pointed out before, Meditterraneans and Asians* think we are weird, even hostile, and think their inclination to want to sit near other people is 'natural' and 'friendly' (even if they don't strike up conversation). *I am caucasian British, but have lived in Beijing for over a decade and speak and write the Chinese language at a proficient level.

While you may (correctly) point out 'This is Britain', we are also a country that actively seeks to attract business and tourism from other countries, so I now adopt a high degree of tolerance here. After all, someone sitting near you in an unreserved seat isn't nearly as offensive as football chanting or getting drunk and offensive on public transport - something I have only ever seen in the UK.

 

[Dr_Paul]

If you choose a desirable seat, be that the only table, a priority seat or the front seat of a bus, you can't really complain if someone else feels its desirabiliy overrides the downside of sitting next to someone. If you want to keep the other one free until late, pick a regular seat. On a train, facing backwards is a good bet.

I don't accept your argument here. As it is, I do like to sit in a front upstairs seat on a bus, but I would not sit next to someone on a front seat if there were unoccupied twin seats available on the bus. And when I do sit next to someone, I try not to barge into him or her, and wouldn't start chomping on a smelly hot meat pie.

 

[Bletchleyite]

I don't accept your argument here. As it is, I do like to sit in a front upstairs seat on a bus, but I would not sit next to someone on a front seat if there were unoccupied twin seats available on the bus. And when I do sit next to someone, I try not to barge into him or her, and wouldn't start chomping on a smelly hot meat pie.

I generally wouldn't just to sit at the front of the bus, but I would in a priority seat or table if I needed either of those. I'd not deliberately barge but I'm a big guy and may accidentally do so.

Food on buses is a totally different discussion, you'd smell that if he sat behind you.

 

[AdamWW]

I generally wouldn't just to sit at the front of the bus

Me neither, though I did it once on a rail replacement bus that was going over the Severn Bridge and that I was expecting to fill up anyway.

The person I sat next to wasn't impressed and moved somewhere else.

I can't remember if I did end up next to someone in the end.

 

[trainophile]

The front upstairs seats in buses tend to have even less legroom than the rest of the seats, where at least you can put your feet beneath the seat in front.

 

[NeilCr]

Used to love the front seats on the DLR when I lived in London

They were very popular!

 

[bramling]

I generally wouldn't just to sit at the front of the bus, but I would in a priority seat or table if I needed either

That’s a bit different, as you’re talking about *need* (which I’m assuming in your case you’re implying you’d have significant discomfort sitting in a normal seat, as opposed to just fancying a bit of extra room). I’d also imagine you’d also not impose yourself as an irritant on the other person, which unfortunately isn’t the case for much of the rest of the population.

 

[TUC]

If you are on the tube and the carriage empties out so that the next seat is occupied but many othere are free do you move? I generally do, others might not.

No, that seems unnatural. It's artificially moving rather than artificially sitting next to someone. It sounds like the special kind of worrying that Londoners have.

 

[birchesgreen]

This reminds me of a story a friend told me when he was a student in Aberystwyth. He was travelling back to Brum late at night on a nearly empty train doing some work. A guy sat opposite him. Needing the space my friend moved to another table. The bloke followed him. Then the bloke said, "I'm not a nutter you know?!"

And then got off at Dovey Junction much to my friend's relief!

 

[contrex]

"Have you taken the Lord Jesus into your life?" usually shifts them.

In a nearly empty HST from Paddington I had someone come and sit opposite me and ask me that very question. I enthusiastically said 'Yes, Praise the Lord!' and launched into a discussion of St Augustine and his doctrine of predestination, and how it conflicted with the idea of free will. He was gone before Reading. PS: I'm an atheist.

​

 

[londonbridge]

Got on the bus to work first thing this morning, top deck completely empty except for one person in the front seat on the left. I sat three seats behind them. Someone got on and sat in the second row, next one sat behind me, then someone else sat in the third row. This left people in the first five rows on the left, with the whole of the right side, and the six rows behind the woman who was sat behind me, empty.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

This reminds me of a story a friend told me when he was a student in Aberystwyth. He was travelling back to Brum late at night on a nearly empty train doing some work. A guy sat opposite him. Needing the space my friend moved to another table. The bloke followed him. Then the bloke said, "I'm not a nutter you know?!"

And then got off at Dovey Junction much to my friend's relief!

How funny you should say that, as something very similar happened to me between Penhelig and Aberystwyth...

In December 2019, I boarded a late night train at Penhelig alone and a creepy man sat opposite me at a table, despite the train being empty, and said “what’ve you got in here then?” and started taking all sorts of things out of my bag and laying them out on the table… being 16 at the time I was pretty freaked out and was too scared to object, but when I turned around I saw the guard at the other end of the saloon and as he caught my eye I mouthed “help me.”

He came over and said “Ahhh, are you (some made up name) your aunt is looking for you in the next coach, i hear she was meant to meet you on board, are these things yours - let’s gather them up and I’ll take you to her” and he gave me my things back and went with me into the next carriage… obviously I was extremely grateful to have been rescued from that situation but then he told me the guy was well known among staff and he was actually a convicted robber from Shrewsbury.

 

[trainophile]

Got on the bus to work first thing this morning, top deck completely empty except for one person in the front seat on the left. I sat three seats behind them. Someone got on and sat in the second row, next one sat behind me, then someone else sat in the third row. This left people in the first five rows on the left, with the whole of the right side, and the six rows behind the woman who was sat behind me, empty.

I wonder how many people deliberately pick the non-sunny side of public transport, I know I do. Have often seen people walk past many empty rows on the sunny side to find a seat on the shady side. On my regular routes now I know exactly which side to go for, and am upset if my allocated seat is on the wrong side. In fact there should be an option on seat selection pages to choose "west" or "east" where appropriate, as well as forwards, backwards, window, aisle etc.

 

[Meerkat]

What I find odd is on a fairly crowded train there are a few free seats next to others, but some choose to stand, blocking the way for others needing to get down the aisle. They really are the unsociable ones.

Why is that odd?
Its more comfortable standing than being squashed next to someone, particularly if you have a bag You don’t want to put in the rack.
It makes it easier to get off if you aren’t going far.
Standing is cooler in the summer (Or if you have stomped it to catch the train)

 

[D1024]

Whilst not on the railway but a very similar situation - this afternoon, my wife and I arrived at Heathrow T5 on a domestic flight. We walked down to the domestic baggage carousel and were the first ones there. We positioned ourselves about half way along one side of the 'belt' when the next person to get there came and stood about 6 inches away from me - in a large open area with very few people about. I gave her a Paddington 'extra hard stare' and we moved several yards away - only for her to follow! Bizarre!

 

[Topological]

Whilst not on the railway but a very similar situation - this afternoon, my wife and I arrived at Heathrow T5 on a domestic flight. We walked down to the domestic baggage carousel and were the first ones there. We positioned ourselves about half way along one side of the 'belt' when the next person to get there came and stood about 6 inches away from me - in a large open area with very few people about. I gave her a Paddington 'extra hard stare' and we moved several yards away - only for her to follow! Bizarre!

That one is perhaps not as bizarre as it seems.

Standing nearer to the point where the cases come down onto the belt would be "pushing in" in front of you. Standing further back just opens the way for others to squeeze in and be nearer to the cases than this person who has arrived.

It does open a question about how close to the point where the bags were coming down you were.

Last time I was at Heathrow the ground crew were moving cases of the belts as soon as they came down anyway so it was a moot point about standing locations. (I was an early arrival and positioned based on the points where the cases come down)

 

[D1024]

It does open a question about how close to the point where the bags were coming down you were.

Not that close - about half way along the arrival side of the belt. We actually moved further away from the start when the other person followed ...

 

[Topological]

Not that close - about half way along the arrival side of the belt. We actually moved further away from the start when the other person followed ...

OK, now that is just odd.

 

[londonbridge]

Same thing this morning, when I boarded the bus two people in front row, one each side of the aisle, one in second row on left. I’ve gone further down on the right, then two people have boarded and sat in third and fourth rows on left.

 

[The exile]

Why do an aberrant minority of people regularly go to all the bother of walking quarter of a kilometer from the concourse at Paddington to get to unreserved seats in the quiet coach on far from busy trains

At least for that bit -because they know where the exit is at their destination? Newport and Swansea, for instance.

Same thing this morning, when I boarded the bus two people in front row, one each side of the aisle, one in second row on left. I’ve gone further down on the right, then two people have boarded and sat in third and fourth rows on left.

There’ll be a lot of “auto pilot” habit involved as well - it’s where they always sit. I’ve noticed that I tend automatically to sit on the right hand side of the bus. Not aware of any reason - it just happens.

 

[Big Jumby 74]

There’ll be a lot of “auto pilot” habit involved as well - it’s where they always sit

I'd agree with that.

Not that close - about half way along the arrival side of the belt. We actually moved further away from the start when the other person followed ...

That would be the moment I would become suspicious of possibly having a pick pocket merchant on my hands!

 

[bleeder4]

You should have asked them why they sat there. We can speculate here until the cows come home, but the only people who could have answered your question were the ones in that video. Too late now.

 

[Jez]

Why is that odd?
Its more comfortable standing than being squashed next to someone, particularly if you have a bag You don’t want to put in the rack.
It makes it easier to get off if you aren’t going far.
Standing is cooler in the summer (Or if you have stomped it to catch the train)

True sometimes it is better standing especially if only on a 10-15 minute journey for example.

However i hate it when people crowd around the doors and then you ask them 'excuse me' so you can pass to get down the aisle to find one of the few empty seats, they look at you as if you have two heads, like its my fault the train is only two carriages, how dare i try and board and ask them politely to pass them to find a seat when there are a few available here and there. Then when you get to seat you find a bag on it and ask someone to remove it so you can sit down!