Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Busaholic]

So what if you do?

(Sorry, I couldn't resist! Though this one I'd have thought is more acceptable, as "so what" is a phrase on its own, rather than simply starting a sentence with "so".)

What a so and so you are.

 

[ABB125]

What a so and so you are.

Indeed I am!

 

[Gloster]

The nearest thing to that used to be Fanny Cradock's series on BBC, when they only had the one channel, so a year or two back. Fanny was aided by her long-suffering husband, Johnny, who added a few bon mots in-between swigs of the cooking sherry. His best remembered line, delivered deadpan, was ''and may your doughnuts taste like Fanny's.''

Fanny and Johnny did not actually marry until 1977, the year her career came to a sudden end, and even then it was bigamous, not for the first time. However, they were together for nearly fifty years. I tend to remember Benny Hill, with Bob Todd as a rather-too-close-to-the-truth Johnny.

 

[Cowley]

When you go and get your car valeted and they don’t hang one of those air freshener thingys on the interior mirror but you only realise it when someone points it out to you online eight hours later…

 

[Bevan Price]

I'd ban people who leave the onions in their takeaway!

In that case, takeaway shops should offer the options of food without onions / salt / sauce, etc., as some people may not like / be allergic to such things.

 

[Busaholic]

Fanny and Johnny did not actually marry until 1977, the year her career came to a sudden end, and even then it was bigamous, not for the first time. However, they were together for nearly fifty years. I tend to remember Benny Hill, with Bob Todd as a rather-too-close-to-the-truth Johnny.

Bob Todd looked remarkably like Johnny! Mind you, Bob Todd must have liked a drink too, because on his ''This Is Your Life'' Benny Hill came on and said 'some people say he drinks too much....' followed by silence and one of his 'knowing' looks to camera and, give him his due, Bob Todd laughed uproariously.

 

[py_megapixel]

When you go and get your car valeted and they don’t hang one of those air freshener thingys on the interior mirror but you only realise it when someone points it out to you online eight hours later…

When you go and get your car valeted and they do hang one of those air freshener thingys on the interior mirror but you have to take it down immediately because it either smells horrible or it hangs too low causing it to swing around and become a distraction.

 

[Techniquest]

In that case, takeaway shops should offer the options of food without onions / salt / sauce, etc., as some people may not like / be allergic to such things.

Agreed there. Pizza Hut and Domino's are not that good at custom orders I've found. I won't discuss my dislike of Domino's, used to love them but the last two...All I tend to have is a vegan cheese pizza, how hard can it be to get such a pizza from a major restaurant, especially when ordering online? Surprisingly so, to the extent that I don't even try to order one through Pizza Hut now. Don't start me on Papa John's either...

Surely it is not beyond the ability of humanity to make it easy to order such a simple pizza online!

 

[SteveM70]

In that case, takeaway shops should offer the options of food without onions / salt / sauce, etc., as some people may not like / be allergic to such things.

One of the upsides of the McDonald’s experience - the self serve screens enable you to customise your food. It’s still rubbish, of course, but at least it’s rubbish without gherkins

 

[py_megapixel]

Surely it is not beyond the ability of humanity to make it easy to order such a simple pizza online!

I don't think it's too difficult. The difficult part is remortgaging your home so you can pay for it!

 

[PeterY]

The nearest thing to that used to be Fanny Cradock's series on BBC, when they only had the one channel, so a year or two back. Fanny was aided by her long-suffering husband, Johnny, who added a few bon mots in-between swigs of the cooking sherry. His best remembered line, delivered deadpan, was ''and may your doughnuts taste like Fanny's.''

If I remember rightly Fanny Cradock to to consume most of the wine direct and only put a drop in her recipes, plus she was supposed to be a miserable ....... off screen. .

 

[gg1]

On the subject of fast foot, patheticly small sachets of ketchup.

We were given 5 of them free by Burger King a few months ago, they'd been sat in the kitchen cupboard unused since then. Last weekend I treated myself to fish and chips, thought I may as well use up the sachets. Even after emptying all 5 of them onto the chips there still wasn't enough sauce.

 

[Busaholic]

If I remember rightly Fanny Cradock to to consume most of the wine direct and only put a drop in her recipes, plus she was supposed to be a miserable ....... off screen. .

She was a complete nightmare according to Esther Rantzen, who appeared with her at least once.

 

[Darandio]

If I remember rightly Fanny Cradock to to consume most of the wine direct and only put a drop in her recipes, plus she was supposed to be a miserable ....... off screen. .

No wonder she always looked clattered.

In that case, takeaway shops should offer the options of food without onions / salt / sauce, etc., as some people may not like / be allergic to such things.

A beef curry and fried rice without the sauce would be an interesting concept!

 

[py_megapixel]

Websites which clear both the username and password box when only the password is entered incorrectly.

Also, websites which clear only the password box when the username is invalid.

 

[Cowley]

Bags of frozen chips that have a bit on the side that says ‘50% Bigger Bag!’ to make you think you’re getting a better deal.

 

[calopez]

Websites which clear both the username and password box when only the password is entered incorrectly.

Also, websites which clear only the password box when the username is invalid.

Websites which only reveal their criteria for acceptable passwords when you enter one that isn't.

 

[py_megapixel]

Bags of frozen chips that have a bit on the side that says ‘50% Bigger Bag!’ to make you think you’re getting a better deal.

50% BIGGER* BAG
* than our smaller-sized and proportionally cheaper bag

In the same realm, I would ban plastic-wrapped multipacks of cans from being cheaper than the same number of cans bought not in the multipack.
If you want to give a discount for buying 8 cans, why not just have a multi-buy offer and save the plastic?

 

[ABB125]

In the same realm, I would ban plastic-wrapped multipacks of cans from being cheaper than the same number of cans bought not in the multipack.
If you want to give a discount for buying 8 cans, why not just have a multi-buy offer and save the plastic?

It's easier to carry 8 cans (for example) which are wrapped together than 8 single cans. This isn't as much of a problem if you're buying as part of a bigger shop, with lots of bags etc, but if you're going in simply to pick up some of you favourite canned beverage, trying to carry 8 cans in your hands is a bit difficult...

 

[py_megapixel]

It's easier to carry 8 cans (for example) which are wrapped together than 8 single cans. This isn't as much of a problem if you're buying as part of a bigger shop, with lots of bags etc, but if you're going in simply to pick up some of you favourite canned beverage, trying to carry 8 cans in your hands is a bit difficult...

Looks like you quoted the wrong post there!

In any case, my actual response to the post is - fine, but it shouldn't be cheaper than buying the same thing separately. Ideally it should be slightly more expensive to cover the cost of the plastic.

 

[ABB125]

Looks like you quoted the wrong post there!

Not sure what happened there, I'm absolutely positive I chose the correct one! I'll see if I can change it

In any case, my actual response to the post is - fine, but it shouldn't be cheaper than buying the same thing separately. Ideally it should be slightly more expensive to cover the cost of the plastic.

Fair enough

 

[HST274]

Not sure what happened there, I'm absolutely positive I chose the correct one! I'll see if I can change it

I like air freshener too.

 

[ABB125]

I like air freshener too.

 

[PeterY]

I like air freshener too.

I avoid air fresheners (and women smothered/caked in perfume ) because they make me sneeze and get up my nose. Perhaps they should be banned as well

 

[py_megapixel]

I avoid air fresheners (and women smothered/caked in perfume ) because they make me sneeze and get up my nose. Perhaps they should be banned as well

Yes. Department stores which you can't get into without walking past the perfume section deserve to go bankrupt!

 

[Mcr Warrior]

I avoid air fresheners (and women smothered/caked in perfume ) because they make me sneeze and get up my nose. Perhaps they should be banned as well

Arftastic!

 

[duncanp]

Can we ban those <bleeping> pop ups that come up on every website which scream at you "WE USE COOKIES, BUT NOT THE EDIBLE KIND"

Can't you see me wetting myself laughing - I really thought you used chocolate digestives in order to monitor my use of your website.

No doubt some smart **** thinks this is amusing, funny and witty, but it isn't, it is very irritating and annoying.

 

[py_megapixel]

Something else that is irritating and annoying is tautology

I share your frustration though, @duncanp. It's in the same vein as gratuitous personification of inanimate objects. "If I've run out of toner, please report me to IT services" - NO, you're a printer, why do you need to talk to me?

 

[Calthrop]

Something else that is irritating and annoying is tautology

I share your frustration though, @duncanp. It's in the same vein as gratuitous personification of inanimate objects. "If I've run out of toner, please report me to IT services" - NO, you're a printer, why do you need to talk to me?

My bolding -- I tend to find that particular bit of ""whimsy", rather sweet -- as, likewise, on a bus destination-blind, "Sorry, I'm not in service"; but maybe this reflects adversely on my mental age.

 

[Strat-tastic]

Something else that is irritating and annoying is tautology

I share your frustration though, @duncanp. It's in the same vein as gratuitous personification of inanimate objects. "If I've run out of toner, please report me to IT services" - NO, you're a printer, why do you need to talk to me?

Well you're talking to it