Young children on trains

[TT-ONR-NRN]

I'd rather have a train full of excited toddlers than arrogant, social skill lacking trainspotters with questionable personal hygiene.

Ew. Yes that does sound awful!!!!! :?

 

[GW43125]

You mean that because a youngster may excitedly point out a train, you get irked because you may be filing at the time?

Yes, because it's hard to sort papers out whilst little kids are being loud...

Sorry.

 

[E_Reeves]

Yes, because it's hard to sort papers out whilst little kids are being loud...

Sorry.

 

[317666]

One thing which I never travel without is a good pair of noise-cancelling earphones (Sennheiser in my case). I used to have a proper pair of studio headphones which were brilliant for blocking out unwanted noise, but alas they no longer work.

Although, this doesn't really help with the issue of unhygienic trainspotters mentioned further up - perhaps I should start carrying a can of RightGuard with me too

 

[jon0844]

It might be better to spray them with Lynx...

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

Why oh why do people think that the fact that people need to regularly spray deodorant doesn't apply to them?

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Let me give my thoughts as a parent who has taken their kids on trains since they were tiny (including in first class).

Firstly the problem is not with the children but with the parents and virtually everything you have described is unacceptable and even when my kids were small they have commented on the bad behaviour of other children.

• Watching movies etc without headphones is wrong - I really don't understand this as most kids movies are annoying for parents for the 75th time
  
• Kids screaming - try to quieten them and if this doesn't happen take them to the vestibule and calm them there

The only one I would slightly disagree with is about the "Daddy look! It's another train!!!!" comments as this is enthusiasm and is great but I agree it should be at an acceptable volume ("use your inside voice").

Kids on trains are fine but parents must be respectful of other travellers

Well said! I personally do not and will not have offspring of my own, that's my choice though and I don't resent those that do- however nobody should be expecting a 6-year-old to appreciate the subtle social mores when travelling by public transport. Whether on a train or at a football match, an annoying habit of kids is the kicking of the back of the chair in front. However it's rightly not considered acceptable to tell off someone else's kids unless what they're doing is dangerous rather than irritating. Any parent whom I overhear teaching their child these manners (don't kick the chair, use your inside voice, etc.) automatically gets an (imaginary) Gold Star!

 

[RichmondCommu]

I think some forum members need to remind themselves that they are traveling on public transport and that its not their own private train.

 

[theblackwatch]

I'd rather have a train full of excited toddlers than arrogant, social skill lacking trainspotters with their attendant levels questionable personal hygiene.

So it seems the lack of tolerance doesn't just apply to those who don't like children or dogs. Maybe we could add 'intolerant people' to the list of those who shouldn't travel by train!

 

[Clansman]

I think some forum members need to remind themselves that they are traveling on public transport and that its not their own private train.

This.

There are so many anti-youth people about just now, its sad to see.

I despise folk who can't give children and young people respect on trains nowadays, as there's a lot of people who prejudice against them on the basis of feelings of entitlement, along with the whole "good ol' days" attitude, rather than the young person themselves being in the wrong or unsocial.

I've experienced this a couple of times against me and I imagine there are a lot of relatively young people around these forums who've experienced this also.

 

[jon0844]

any parent whom i overhear teaching their child these manners (don't kick the chair, use your inside voice, etc.) automatically gets an (imaginary) gold star!

But what if this is their 'inside voice'?

:d

 

[xc170]

I've seen some rubbish spouted on this forum but this thread is something else.

Kids make noise, we were all screaming kids once!

As I post this, I'm on a train now, with my one year old son who is happily sat in his pushchair not making a sound.

To the OP, if you're that bothered, may I suggest using a taxi, or a car?

 

[Clansman]

But what if this is their 'inside voice'?

:d

Then you demand the guard take them by the legs and hang them out the droplights, and give all the over 50s a free first class upgrade and every passenger a complimentary browse of the Express.

If the child is any younger than 7, then being loud once or twice in the context of being excited is understandable. But at the end of the day trains are public arenas and open to anyone. I understand there's the odd exception of a brat, but most children on trains are genuinely polite and are like every child, they get excited to be out and about and that's great to see. People who can't book quiet coach where available or can't tolerate that fact to the extent where they hypocritically create a scene to raise that point shouldn't be on a train.

 

[Raul_Duke]

So it seems the lack of tolerance doesn't just apply to those who don't like children or dogs. Maybe we could add 'intolerant people' to the list of those who shouldn't travel by train!

Well, it would certainly solve overcrowding.

 

[Llanigraham]

Actually that is due to my aspergers autistic spectrum disorder - so yeah. Symptoms of that do include noise sensitivity and intolerance. Sorry - I always wish I hadn't been born with it, but I can't help it! So actually I am very mature for my age, but unfortunately my issue does mean I cannot tolerate certain noises.

Maybe check this out:

http://www.myaspergers.net/what-is-aspergers/everyone-know-autism-noise-sensitivity/

Then why didn't you state that when you made the statement I linked to?
That also would have shown your maturity.
Unfortunately we aren't all psychic so can't tell if someone has a "problem" unless they tell us.

 

[Llanigraham]

I think some forum members need to remind themselves that they are traveling on public transport and that its not their own private train.

So very true!!

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

Then why didn't you state that when you made the statement I linked to?
That also would have shown your maturity.
Unfortunately we aren't all psychic so can't tell if someone has a "problem" unless they tell us.

I try not to - I find it quite embarrassing

 

[6Gman]

Let me give my thoughts as a parent who has taken their kids on trains since they were tiny (including in first class).

Firstly the problem is not with the children but with the parents and virtually everything you have described is unacceptable and even when my kids were small they have commented on the bad behaviour of other children.

• Watching movies etc without headphones is wrong - I really don't understand this as most kids movies are annoying for parents for the 75th time
  
• Kids screaming - try to quieten them and if this doesn't happen take them to the vestibule and calm them there

The only one I would slightly disagree with is about the "Daddy look! It's another train!!!!" comments as this is enthusiasm and is great but I agree it should be at an acceptable volume ("use your inside voice").

Kids on trains are fine but parents must be respectful of other travellers

This.

The children are fine.

But my pet hate is the parent who takes no interest in his/her child and is then surprised when the child becomes fractious.

What happened to sitting with your child and keeping them occupied by pointing at items of interest out of the window?

If reading your book/ checking your texts is more important to you than interacting with your children ... why have them at all?

 

[Bletchleyite]

If reading your book/ checking your texts is more important to you than interacting with your children ... why have them at all?

Yes, this.

When you have children they are meant to be your everything, not something to give an electronic device or remote control to and ignore. Enjoy sharing the journey with them.

 

[47271]

Ignore the behaviour that's upsetting you, whether from small children or anyone else, or move.

I passed a comment once in an East Coast First Class quiet coach - I didn't realise that the very pleasant family who were sat beside me playing with noisy games had been moved there by the crew because someone else wouldn't move out of their reserved seats - with the consequence that they stood terrified in the vestibule for an hour while I stayed in splendid isolation with my laptop in a bay of four seats. I was mortified, never again.

Otherwise, I screen it out. Only twice in the past few years have I moved, and both times the parents were the problem.

The first was a woman whose children were perfectly well behaved but trying to talk to her loudly, but this was interrupting enjoyment of her terrible music, which we could all hear leaking from her headphones, so she was telling them to shut up every five minutes. More distressing than annoying, I had to get remove myself from that one.

The other one is funny in retrospect, but was really quite irritating at the time. A continuous stream of Shaun the Sheep episodes played on a speaker all the way from Perth to Kirkcaldy, at which point I baled. It wouldn't have been so bad if I could've seen the screen, at least I would've got the jokes, but believe me Shaun in sound but not vision is a sure route to madness...

 

[Bletchleyite]

The other one is funny in retrospect, but was really quite irritating at the time. A continuous stream of Shaun the Sheep episodes played on a speaker all the way from Perth to Kirkcaldy, at which point I baled. It wouldn't have been so bad if I could've seen the screen, at least I would've got the jokes, but believe me Shaun in sound but not vision is a sure route to madness...

That's actually a good point as to why others playing movies out loud is annoying - you feel compelled to watch, but can't.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Then why didn't you state that when you made the statement I linked to?
That also would have shown your maturity.
Unfortunately we aren't all psychic so can't tell if someone has a "problem" unless they tell us.

I'm sure there a plenty of people around who find noise irritating, whether they're on the spectrum or not. I don't think the OP's condition is entirely relevant to the discussion though it does add some context.

I try not to - I find it quite embarrassing

This I agree with 100%: just because being open about such things can make things easier, it is also difficult especially with things like Aspergers/ASD. In fact it has probably become more difficult as there are more people around who have a very basic and flawed understanding of the condition- in the past it was more common to encounter people who were entirely ignorant and were genuinely surprised that people on the spectrum can even talk, let alone go out on their own or be fully functional members of society!

Like the OP, I also have Aspergers and whilst I don't react negatively to noise sensitivity (possibly due to a late diagnosis I had learned to "bottle it up" because without the diagnosis acting up would just be seen as "weird") but I do have difficulty with filtering out the background noise in order to hear things like announcements. This is another thing in favour of visual PIS displays: you don't have to be hard of hearing to have difficulty with audio announcements. But this is off-topic I suppose...

 

[jon0844]

What about adults on the booze at 10pm when in a group? I've been 'disturbed' far more by that than a child or two.

 

[Llanigraham]

I try not to - I find it quite embarrassing

As has been shown here, you cannot expect people to agree with you, especially over contentious matters, when you feel incapable of providing all the relevant facts, such as your condition when it materially affects your response and attitude.

Maturity is accepting things, even when we find them embarrassing. Acceptance is also being willing to explain to people how and what your condition is.

So I am sorry to say that I do not think you are "very mature for your age".

 

[graham11]

What the railway needs for disruptive , noisy kids is a Children`s Club !

Preferably a heavy wooden one !


Just kidding before anyone thinks I am serious ;

 

[Josie]

Yes, this.

When you have children they are meant to be your everything, not something to give an electronic device or remote control to and ignore. Enjoy sharing the journey with them.

I used to think like this - until I had kids! They usually demand constant or near-constant attention, and you give as much as you can, but especially once they're into the toddler bracket and they don't literally need you to hold them/feed them/do everything for them like a newborn, you have to take little breaks where you can.

If I'm out in town all day with a toddler, on our feet, talking about all the things we see, explaining why we can't go into every single shop, playing a lot of I Spy, counting things at any opportunity, finding toilets, chasing pigeons etc... by the time we get to the train home we might've been going non-stop for hours. Eventually you just need to be able to say to them "please stop asking me questions/pointing things out/trying to stuff crisps into my mouth and entertain yourself for ten minutes until we get to our stop."

To an onlooker that might seem like a parent who just ignores their child. But you're seeing them for the duration of your train journey and no more. You don't know what else they've been doing or will be doing, you don't know how well or otherwise they're coping with their day/week/life.

Ultimately one of the biggest lessons parenting has taught me is not to criticise other people's parenting if it isn't actively dangerous - and hope they'll afford the same respect to me and mine.

 

[Darandio]

I completely agree with Josie here. Seems many have a strong opinion and are very happy to tell others how it should be done, but how many of you are actually parents?

I spend the morning travelling to my dads with my partner and the kids, we have a load of fun on the train, then on the bus and then spend the afternoon in my dads garden. On the way home the youngest is starting to get tired, he throws a tantrum because someone else pressed the button at the pedestrian crossing (it happens) and is insufferable on the rest of the walk to the railway station but he have to get a move on so we don't miss the train.

On the train home he calms down, wants his tablet and sits quietly watching Spongebob or playing a game, yet some of you seeing us are now going to think we are ignoring him, because you somehow know better? :roll:

 

[satisnek]

Noisy kids on trains? Yeah, can't stand them. Even back in the days when I had a Young Person's Railcard. Old before my time, that's me. Fortunately, there is a solution in the form of the type of headphones which plug right into the ear canal (those which are supplied with 2 or 3 sizes of 'bung' for the best fit). The better quality ones (e.g. Sennheiser) even allow you to blow your brains out while the person sitting next to you is none the wiser!

Incidentally, when noise cancelling headphones (those which work by amplifying ambient noise in antiphase - or something like that) were first introduced in the 1990s I can remember asking this salesman if they worked for noisy kids on the train. His reply was something like: "er... well they're really designed to block low frequencies like aircraft noise". I lost interest in them after that!

Hmm. Well dogs on trains - bad idea (except guide dogs)

As someone rather nervous around dogs I would be very scared to sit down at my reserved seat and there be a springer spaniel sitting under the table! It isn't fair really!

Well yes, you might get licked to death... Bad choice, springer spaniels are generally too stupid to cause harm to anyone

 

[shredder1]

The nice thing about you children is that you can still give them a good kicking when they misbehave, mine have all grown up now and tower over me menacingly

 

[J-2739]

The nice thing about you children is that you can still give them a good kicking when they misbehave, mine have all grown up now and tower over me menacingly

As long as you retire to a nursing home early, then your big kids wouldn't go anywhere near you, lol

(jk)